Triggered suddenly

@surbhi Also i always had some form of mild OCD since I was really really young so I know this is OCD and I figured it out even before my diagnosis

@surbhi That's good!! I also javelin a history and whenni look back on my Health anxiety craze (which was almost 2 years ago), I realized that that could have been the starting point of my ocd , since health anxiety and ocd are closely related. This realization also helped me realize o had ocd longer than I thought, and that it was only this ( well, of 2022) summer that it really hit me and that's whenni found out I had ocd. So yes, I also know it's OCD as well, but yesterday it felt TOO REAL and I thought "THIS TIME ITD DIFFERENT, THIS TIME IT MIGHT BE REAL" and we all know OCD does this as well, it makes you feel like you're experience is 'different' and that it's not ocd 'this time'. When I sat myself down and calmed my nerves yesterday, I really did realize it was ocd, but when I did calm down, I felt a little normal in terms of feelings, and I kinda felt like myself again. This is why I really want people ti know that online googling and going on reddit and quora (Mostly quora, it's a hell hole for people like us). It give ocd more things to throw back at you not only during the panic, but after it too. And bc I took in a lot yesterday, it lasted longer, which means my symptoms linger even more that if I didn't go on at all. Anxoety is a lingering feeling, even after its over, the feelings still linger and if you are not careful, you could easily get an anxiety attack all over again bc you are still lingering with anxiety. Overall, you are not what ocd tells you, I know for people who deal with our sub-type the can't trust their memories or tgeir experiences, especially those with an addiction to' you know what'. I'm not trying to reassure, but like, you'll ne fine!! You are not that 1%, and tou are struggling with a doubting disorder, and by looking at your ROCD tag, I'm assuming you are of were ina relationships, which is enough proof that you are not what ocd tells you. Hope this helps⭐️✨️💫

@Acekid128 Omg i ALWAYS use quora when im having bad HOCD thoughts and sometimes its so helpful and such a stress reliever but then theres times that make me so stressed out, especially when i read about peoples coming out stories and how they knew because i feel like i relate to that stuff

@oliviaolivia For me it was terrible bc even when I did find some good ones they were followed up by like 8 more terrible people spreading misinformation about things surrounding the theme, which is why I told people to stay away bases of my and many others' experiences

@Acekid128 I hate these HOCD thoughts so much, im only 14 and i dont even know if it is HOCD im not diagnosed with OCD but i do experience all the symptoms of HOCD so it just feels like im in-denial and using it as an excuse

@oliviaolivia I want you to remember this: you are not too young to know yourself. I remember when I was 12 I knew I didn't want children or a child, I just wanted a husband and a nice house and my art carrer💖 and when u was 15, that never changed, in fact, I had more reasons to keep my choices, whether they were intrinsic or extrinsic reasons. Just remember if you were straight your entire life, it will always be that way, you can't change a fundemental part of yourself. But I do want to warn you: please make sure that when you are online that you be careful of what you hear and see, as oxd can use that information and try to to find parts of your life and your past memories to convince you that your theme is/or vecoming your reality. I recommend the book ocd trick and cheats to see the trick and cheats oxd uses, I'll link a free pdf download for you so you can read it yourself. Once you do, you will really see how these tricks play apart in your ocd as well and make you feel more confident. Lol but I bet even if you know it's ocd, ocd will make you think it's not ocd🤣

@Acekid128 Thankyou so much! I know deep down that im straight because all I’ve ever liked was boys and only wanted to be married to boys but it feels like because i dont think i was ever inlove with any of the boys i liked it means that im actually lesbian and its all confusing sometimes, i just wish i was back to how i was before when i wasn’t questioning ny sexuality every day, also i would love the pdf download of the book! Might try to get back into reading because reading was one of the BIG reasons i was questioning my sexuality in the first place

@oliviaolivia I am finding the link right now, but it might take a while. But since I'm still here, let me tell you a trick ocd does that I think lots pf people have, but don't know how to describe it. So let's say for example you have a female friend, and you have HOCD. It's your friends birthday and you really want to buy her a nice gift, so you start searching for things you know she will like, a shirt of her fav singer, some jewelry, maybe even a new car!! And let's say you got her a friendship necklace and a friendship bracelet and gave it to her on her birthday. She's as happy as happy xan get and char gives you a big hug. Ocd will use this as a opportunity to ruin the moment by giving you false attraction along with the intrusive thoght "you are in love with her". This is what causes a huge anxiety spike and you have to reassure yourself (compulsions) that you aren't and that she's just a friend, which ocd will use to say that you're only saying that because you're in denial, and when you say to yourself you're not in denial ocd will tell you that say that means you are in denial. It's important to remember that ocd is apart of your brain, it's just as smart as you, which means the more real it feels, the smarter ocd has become (it also means that you are smart too🙂) But it sucks because OCD uses your intellectual abilities against you everytime you try and reason with it, and the more you try, the more compulsions you will do; mental reviewing, avoiding your best friend, and you might even stop watching a show with a female lead in it. Don't do on purpose exposure, as you will most likely to keep triggering yourself. Do natural exposures, like things in everyday life that you do without force. I'll have the link ready after this post!!

@oliviaolivia https://www.reddit.com/r/OCD/comments/azlxml/tricks_and_cheats_of_ocd/ In this subreddit, the words are highlighted in light blue in the OP's original post, click the link and you will get a few pages on the matter Hope this helps (P.s. I have made another response above) 💫✨️💖

@Acekid128 Okay thankyou soo much ive read both posts and they are actually super helpful 💞

It's both actually

It's transformed actually now. In the beginning it was what if and I built scenarios in my head that if I was all this will happen. Now it's more like a statement and it causes anxiety because I don't feel like I am

@surbhi Hmmm, so just to confirm what we mean here it sounds like if you could confirm that you’re straight you’d feel bad/wrong about that but you’d feel the same thing if you could confirm you’re a lesbian? To me this sounds like OCD trying to make you feel like a villain because how are you supposed to win here? Are you worried that this “would” threaten your relationship with your husband/worried about hurting him?

@goshawk I'll be pretty happy if I could confirm I am straight. I am really very worried about my husband if i wasn't straight. The thought itself sends me into tears

@surbhi Does the root of your obsession stem from feeling like you’re going to hurt your husband emotionally/like you can’t be sure you’re attracted to him?