Is this a compulsion?

When I get an intrusive I will google for hours to try to see if I’m not crazy. Like has anyone else been through this before, is this normal with OCD, what does this intrusive thought mean, etc. I will even ask my boyfriend if I’m a bad person or something like that to feel better. I NEED reassurance or I feel like I’m losing it. I constantly need something or someone to tell me I’m okay or nothing is wrong and I’m normal. Is this a compulsion or am I just weird.

Ocdhater29

Date posted: 2y

That is a compulsion. Seeking reassurance, try to sit with the discomfort. I’m struggling with harm ocd and it’s easier said then done. I even get urges to act out which is a whole other terrible feeling because it feels like you want to do it. Tell yourself maybe you will do something or what you won’t

Kilo2001

Date posted: 2y

@Ocdhater29 I have harm OCD that focuses on my daughter. This is horrible. 😞 I’m sorry you’re dealing with this too. It’s so hard not to google. Or ask my bf if I’m a bad mom.

Kilo2001

Date posted: 2y

@Ocdhater29 I like your user name btw.

Ocdhater29

Date posted: 2y

@Kilo2001 You aren’t a bad mom, you are just going through something. Mine targets my girlfriend, my family, and my puppy. It’s awful

Ocdhater29

Date posted: 2y

@Kilo2001 Thank you! Figured we all hate it so why not make my name it

Kilo2001

Date posted: 2y

@Ocdhater29 Are you open with people about what you’re going through? I’m so scared to tell anyone because I’m scared they won’t understand.

Ocdhater29

Date posted: 2y

@Kilo2001 Umm I have told my mom, girlfriend, and brother that I’m going through harm ocd. But I haven’t told them that the thoughts are about killing them or hurting them. I don’t want them to be scared of me. I am in therapy too with an NOCD therapist who knows about my thoughts but I haven’t really told her I have urges to act

Kilo2001

Date posted: 2y

@Ocdhater29 Has your experience with a therapist on this app been going well. I’m so scared to start cause I’m not diagnosed. I’m scared they’re gonna be like “Yeah no you’re crazy” 😅

Ocdhater29

Date posted: 2y

@Kilo2001 I’m still scared that I don’t have ocd. I’m just going through the treatment as if I did. My therapist is really awesome and I do say some messed up stuff and she just listens. So I would recommend it. I don’t think you’re crazy, if you were crazy you wouldn’t be worried about all of this

Kilo2001

Date posted: 2y

@Ocdhater29 Thank you. I’ll be setting up an appointment with someone soon. Thanks for talking with me.

Ocdhater29

Date posted: 2y

@Kilo2001 Of course, always here if you need someone to talk to. You aren’t alone, stay strong❤️

Robbin

Date posted: 2y

@Kilo2001 Your worry that they’ll just think your crazy is such a common OCD thing. Your googling and reassurance thinking are definitely OCD driven. Worrying that it’s more than OCD/you don’t have OCD/ is this or that because of OCD is all also OCD. I definitely recommend going ahead and making the appointment with NOCD! They specialize in OCD so they know and understand how these thoughts are common with OCD and lessen your chance of being misdiagnosed and ensure you’ll be treated with ERP which is the gold standard treatment for OCD. I suffer from postpartum OCD too and it’s so so incredibly tough, just my particular theme is more contamination related. Anyways I highly recommend starting treatment when you can and in the meantime looking up ERP and trying to postpone and reduce your compulsions because the more you google and seek reassurance the more you’re feeding your OCD and the smaller your world will become.

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