Hi guys today my best friend kinda flirted with my Ex boyfriend. I know he's my Ex but I don't want my best friend to date him My OCD gets really bad bc It's my fault that we broke up and now I think I'm a total b**** I kinda miss him but I don't know what to go back together bc it'll be weird if I ask him I guess I don't know what to do
Thank you
Even without OCD lots of people don’t want a friend to date their ex. So instead of obsessing just talk to your friend.
@ocddisorderdily Not sure how to respond - my point was it’s okay to tell your best friend you don’t want her to flirt or date your ex - she should understand
@ocddisorderdily I’m so sorry my advice added to your stress and self sabotage. I was trying to be supportive of Tabea’s viewpoint and advised her to talk to her friend because of her feelings. You are right though that sometimes dating someone you knows ex is fine. From what you described of your situation the woman was an acquaintance of yours and he became a friend. She is clearly a jealous person and that is on her. Given your relationship with her it does not to me personally warrant your not dating her ex. But the drama with her may not be worth it. But more importantly OCD has you, from what you’ve said, torturing yourself. From what you have shared you are not a bad person. I am struggling myself with my OCD being related to being a bad person. Guilt has been a harder battle than fear for me. ERP helped so much of my OCD but one part of my OCD is ruining my life and it revolves around the theme of being a bad person and ERP just isn’t working for it even though it is contamination related and I have been trying for over a year. I have started iCBT treatment and it seems to be much more appropriate and applicable for blame/fear of being a bad person driven OCD. There isn’t a lot out there on it and not many OCD therapists do it in the US but it might be worth looking at in your case as well. The OCD whisper has some good YouTubes on it and there is some info on the iCBT website. I am so sorry OCD is ruining your life and that I contributed to your pain.
@ocddisorderdily You have tried with her - you have done enough that way. Given your relationship with her you don’t owe her more and you don’t need to honor her requests regarding the ex. But this conversation feels like a reassurance loop which will not help the ocd so I am stepping out of it and wishing you luck.
@ocddisorderdily I do hope you will work with an ERP or an iCBT therapist so you can get your life back from this mental hell.
@ocddisorderdily I hear you. ocd will keep you in this thinking loop forever. erp or icbt therapy can help.
@ocddisorderdily Sorry but my response would be reassurance but an erp or icbt therapist could help resolve your issue.
I can’t stop overthinking about my friend and her soon-to-be boyfriend , I feel like I’m jealous but not of HER, I’m jealous of HIM, like, I’ve known her for so much longer , me and her have always been closer, and this guy comes in and is gonna take up a bunch of her time. Idk, ik I shouldn’t feel this way. She reassured me she would never leave me and I guess I’m also scared of that. I had a breakup with our friend oldest bsf a couple months ago , I guess that might’ve done more damage than I thought. I feel like I’m losing myself , and then I thought I found myself again once me, my bsf , and the guy became friends , but as soon as I found oit she liked him and he liked her its like everything crashed:/// I hate feeling this way but idk what to do
Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭
my ocd and anxiety has been so bad a couple of days… so i started liking this guy that i am friends with and we also went to prom together… after prom, i caught feelings for him even more because he’s so respectful and nice… but he is also a boy that acts like one… but overall he’s rlly sweet.. the other day though since we go to the same school we were in the parking lot after school with our friends just talking and socializing… but once he was leaving i went to go give him a hug and hugged me… my other guy friend was with us who’s also friends with him and hugged him too and whispered in his ear and said “yo u and sav would be a good couple” and he nodded saying “yes” (my guy friend told me that) so eventually i told him saying “yeah i like him” blah blah but there is a problem that bothers me so badly… my friend likes him… i didn’t tell her for a while until i think my OCD was just bothering me sm if i didn’t tell her so i told her how i felt and i was just saying like “i don’t want this to ruin our friendship or anything but i have feelings for him…” yada yada… she was like “i understand but if i’m honest with u if u ask him out i will be upset” i’m just like i wasn’t planning to rlly i can’t tell if he rlly likes me anyways but i didn’t say that… i said “i’m just telling u how i feel” and she goes “i mean i would see u guys anyways because u guys are closer” then she says “can i ask u something and a non rude way” and i was like sure…. she goes “since i’m the first person that liked him can i give it a try if it doesn’t work that’s that” and i was like girl idk it’s Gods plan if it doesn’t work it doesn’t if it does it does” and i’m saying that in the most mature and respectful way yk? because i am christian i’ve been praying about it also. so we were good after that but my anxiety and OCD has been so horrible… i’m uncomfortable around them because she flirts with him but i don’t and she did it on ft when i fell asleep on ft and my best friend was on there and had to hear it….she told me that he does it back she just can’t tell if he’s joking or not… but i’m so overwhelmed about it i’m having thoughts like “what if u and him stop being friends” … “what if something bad happens” …. “what if ur not confident in yourself enough where he won’t like you” …. “what if this is a love triangle” i’m just so sick of this and i don’t wanna be so distraught over a stupid boy because i’ve been through sm with my past talking stage thinking it will work but now im like rlly cauious over being in a relationship now…
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