any advice?

i’ve dealt with anxiety my whole life, as well as pretty mild ocd. but to be honest i genuinely thought ocd manifested as something completely different than what i’ve been feeling the past week. about a month ago i lost my grandpa and exactly one week ago i lost my uncle. ever since loosing my uncle i have felt extremely distant from reality and my family. i have been experiencing horrible intrusive thoughts about something horrible happing to them. Or my thoughts telling me that it would be my fault or me causing the hard. but i also am absolutely terrified to loose them. i can’t seem to find any peace of mind. and if i manage to find peace it is quickly replaced with another disturbing thought or image. i know that i would never harm my family or anyone else but the thought alone in killing me😞

Username: hellokytty

Date posted: 60d ago

I feel the same way, I don’t really think i’m capable of going through with anything but the fact i’m having the thought itself is scary and makes me feel like a bad person. i think usually triggers are something traumatic going on which loss is very traumatic, i hope you feel better and im sure in time you’ll learn how to ignore the thoughts <3

Username: camilleshae

Date posted: 60d ago

i’m so sorry for your loss. i lost my mom last year and my ocd has been really bad at some points. i have felt so distant from reality and everyone around me. you definitely are not alone. i know it’s hard but remember you are not your thoughts. i hope things get easier soon <3