I hate having these intrusive thoughts

I'm sorry to hear you're experiencing this. I know how debilitating the thoughts can be. I struggled greatly with Harm OCD - and I was able to overcome those thoughts through ERP. The thoughts barely affect me now, and I'm rarely triggered! It takes work, but there is so much that's possible. Are you familiar with ERP?

I would say even people without OCD have intrusive thoughts, but it’s how we respond to our thoughts that causes us such distress. Thoughts don’t equal truth or reality but ocd will convince us that just thinking something makes it true, the best thing to do with an intrusive thought is to just let it be there, but don’t give it meaning- which is difficult work to do, but through ERP I learned how!

Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. It helps me to remind myself that thoughts are just thoughts not facts; and do not define who you are. Just thinking something does not make it true. If you try to just push these thoughts out of your head, they probably will just increase. Instead try to let yourself sit with the thoughts without engaging with them. However, of course, that is easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier.

Same one of my biggest fear is the thoughts themselves find it hard not to ruminate about them/ avoid a lot of things including magical thinking about clothes and food etc

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way! I would like for you to know that we all have been or are still where you are. We are here to support in this!