Recovery

I’ve been thinking a lot about how OCD changes the way we see ourselves, but I recently realized that I am not my thoughts. Just because a thought pops up doesn’t mean it’s true or that it defines me. I’ve started learning how to see OCD for what it is—just a disorder trying to trick me—and I’ve become stronger in dealing with it. Has anyone else here had a similar realization? How do you handle these thoughts when they show up?

Does anyone else experience a moment of clarity where you feel strong relief that the intrusive thought isn’t true, only to then immediately start questioning if you’ve only convinced yourself that because you don’t want the thought to be true? I’m pretty confident it would take some crazy mental gymnastics to actually successfully convince myself I didn’t do something that I deep down knew I did, but every time I resist the compulsions and try to sit with the uncertainty or tell myself to think about what is logical, I usually briefly know that this probably didn’t happen but am unable to move on out of fear I’m just in denial and have convinced myself of that.

I think I’m in the recovery stage as my thoughts have settled so much & I only get intrusive thoughts on occasion and get worse only when I’m anxious, but the quietness in my brain feels so weird & I feel awful saying that because all I wanted was the thoughts to stop. This is the most quiet it’s been it’s over 7 months, so to go from non stop thoughts for a long time to quietness I don’t know how to take it. Has anyone else felt like this in recovery