I just miss myself before I got pregnant again I want to get back to that person again not this panic ocd mess it feels like I wonāt bounce back again to my old self and it makes me so sad and just hate life š
Iām sorry for your pain and understand!! You will get better- hang in there!!
@ann61 Thank you so much! I really hope so! This time is just sooo much different then the last time I went through this it just wasnāt nearly as bad what Iām going through right now which is scaring the hell out of me
I too am struggling, as a new mom. ocd is taking so much of my time. Its hard to remember how I functioned before. Really hoping I can do the ERP to get my life back. My days are strictly baby and ocd, no time or energy for anything else. I'm missing so much and makes me feel like a failure as a mom, but I keep trying. With counseling It has been slowly getting better in some ways as time goes on, but not quick enough. Wish I could just do a brain reboot.
@TR03 You are in a sense doing a brain reboot with therapy and erp
@TR03 You arenāt a failure. Most new moms are exhausted and you have the added burden of OCD. When my son was little it was the same for me baby and OCD. You can get through this.
@TR03 I sooo can relate to you I havnt felt the extreme overwhelming part of postpartum in 4 years however Iām pregnant again and it all smacked me right in the face plus came along with panic attacks this time around! I canāt stop thinking Iām gonna go mentally crazy especially after I give birth because I havnt even hit the worst part yet Iām sooo scared but we got this Iām trying to keep at least a little positive because it really does eventually get better especially with the right help!!
@linds123 How long did it take you to balance out the first time? Is it the bodies response to the hormones? I haven't really slept in a year. My son has me holding him all night most nights. I try to acknowledge what little progress I've made to give me encouragement to keep trying.
@linds123 Sorry I just noticed your other comment that answered what i asked. We want another baby but not sure how id handle it which is why I'm wanting to try ERP
@TR03 Your ok! Iād definitely seek out erp before trying and also if ur not taking medication now for your ocd start doing it I wish I would have done that before I got pregnant again because Iām really suffering this time around
My OCD was really bad after I had my son and I had postpartum depression when I weaned him so I can relate. Since you said itās different this time it may help to talk to your OBGYN and see if your hormones are off. Hang in there and if you can get some ERP help. Either way be kind to yourself. You can get through this.
@Erin P Oh itās 100% because of the hormones it has to be because I was 100% fine before I got pregnant again it took 4 years to get better after my son and my hormones to get back in check fully so now Iām freaking out cuz this time itās even worse then before with panic attacks and I feel like I canāt think clearly I told my ob that Iām struggling all they have me on is buspar 5 mg and itās not even doing anything for me anymore so itās really been a struggle but Iām almost there which is pretty scary but canāt wait at the same time because then I can really get put on something to help instead of being so careful with the meds Iām on but thank you I really appreciate your comment!
@linds123 When my OBGYN have not understood how off my hormones are Iāve asked for blood tests. This has helped them see what I needed. Good luck.
@Erin P Awesome maybe I will have to do that as well so do u just ask and they will give you one? Iām happy you got help!
@linds123 Itās depended on the OBGYN - one has just done, the other I had to be insistent to get it. Iām hoping yours just says yes. Good luck.
@Erin P Thanks so much I appreciate it š
Omg I think this all the time. I miss the old me because ocd is so hard to live with. Atm Iām worried about trying for baby 2. We really want to have more kids but Iām scared about my mental health. Also, I want to do some generally recommended genetic screens before conceiving but Iām terrified of the results like what if my husband and I are carriers for a serious condition and what does this mean for our first born (we didnāt do this screen before, Iād never heard of them) My gp suggested I try sertraline. Iām still breastfeeding so Iām scared how itāll affect my son and how itāll affect an unborn baby should I get pregnant soon while being on it. Would anyone recommend this medication and would they suggest trying it for a few months then coming off or before conceiving. Gp said it is safe though I donāt know if Iād want to go down that round you know?
@divyD Road* not round
@divyD First let me say EVERYONE is different but for me Zoloft had a really bad affect on me it made my ocd a whole lot worse but everyoneās different for a lot of people it helps there ocd and anxiety it just doesnāt for me but honestly Iād definitely see a therapist if you arnt already and try maybe a low dose of the medication to see how you like it as far as the breastfeeding thing goes Iām not so sure about that I would talk more to your OB about that and see what they think but yes I would try and get your mental health under good control before u conceive again because I didnāt and itās been hell for me like this is worse then the postpartum ocd I went through for 3 n half years š„
When I was pregnant they did a blood test for some genetic screens for baby and me I think. They didn't do that with your first pregnancy?
@TR03 No, they didnāt. Itās an added screen so I donāt think a lot of people do it.
@linds123 Thank u for your honesty. Iām so sorry youāre going through such a hard time
I keep waking up, overwhelmed with anxiety and I feel like an awful person and I donāt know whyā¦? But I feel like itās because of POCD, I genuinely feel like a bad person because of all of my false attraction experiences, I feel like itās my fault, I feel like an awful person and Iām spiraling, itās so hard to look at myself in the mirror, i canāt bare it, I just feel so awful about myself and I donāt know what to do anymore. I genuinely canāt do this anymore.
I am so angry with ocd. I hate that ocd even exists. I wouldnāt necessarily say I wanted to be a mom when I was younger. I grew up without my mom around. But now my sisters are both moms and I see them and I feel like Iām missing out. But having pocd and hocd has definitely made me feel like itās completely out of the question. I even made sure my fiancĆ© knew that I didnāt want children/ feel like I canāt have them for fear of hurting them or passing on mental health issues. I was abused growing up and one of my old therapists told me that āpeople who are abused can become abusersā. That is something that I am not willing to risk. And even though I feel set on that choice, my brain still tells me that Iām missing out. So Iām constantly questioning if I truly feel like I donāt want them or if ocd is convincing me I donāt. Ugh. Itās just so frustrating.
I feel so sad, alone, scared and hopeless. Until two months ago there was not even the remote possibility of being anything other than heterosexual and now the idea that I could find out that I was lesbian or bisexual terrifies me to death. Everything was born from the fact that I didn't feel sexual desire towards my ex-boyfriend and I started to be afraid that it was because I was a lesbian... how can I be a lesbian or bisexual if everything was born from this? I would like to run away from myself and my head. I would really like to go back and go back to my life before. I can't take it anymore. I just want to live my life like before
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