- Date posted
- 2y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I am sorry that your ocd is giving you a hard time. Here is the important thing - confessing is a compulsion and will make ocd stronger - so I would recommend doing your best and do not compulse. This is hard thing to do, I know. Here is how I may handle this using my response prevention skills. OCD: you cheated on your partner. You were seeing him and your previous partner at the same time. Me: acknowledge the thought and accept the thought as intrusive. Remind myself that I am living my values and my values do not include cheating on my partner. OR ME: maybe I did cheat, or then again maybe I didn’t. I am not going to try and figure this out because I can’t. OCD will not allow me to figure it out. And do my best to go on with my day. The key is to sit with the uncertainty. OCD wants you to provide it certainty and then won’t accept any answer. So arguing with ocd is a waste of time because it will come up with another what if. Live by this motto: if it feels like ocd, treat it like ocd and move on. OCD will say maybe it’s not ocd this time - don’t buy it. That is the key to recovery. If it causes anxiety and upset assume it is ocd . I hope this helps.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Jeffrey Thank you Jeffrey, this really helped. Sometimes I get stuck in a cycle and it’s hard to see logically. I appreciate your kind advice
- Date posted
- 2y
Im Going through cheating ocd too but different - my ocd tells me i wanted to cheat on my partner 2 years ago with my friend but i just didn’t carry it out and it makes me feel sick because i just don’t see myself doing that or wanting it and i keep getting the feeling that i have to confess this BUT WHY
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Don’t confess though i think thats a compulsion
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous With thoughts, you didn’t actually act! Everyone has those thoughts, it will be okah
- Date posted
- 2y
@ocdstinks No i still feel horrible though! Because i used to have crushes on these friends but nothing ever happened 🥴🥴 (thank god lol)
- Date posted
- 2y
@ocdstinks But still the uncertainty is what you have to sit with - whether it was a thought/action you have to just say maybe and continue with ur day and anxiety should go down!
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 2y
@ocdstinks Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you’re struggling. Please keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease and it is going to attach to the things that are most important to us. Therefore, it is not surprising that it is attaching itself to your relationship. Since, as you stated, there is no evidence that anything happened, it seems best to treat these thoughts as any other thoughts. Remember thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts and just thinking something does not make it true. If you try to just push them out of your head, they probably will just increase. Instead try to let yourself sit with the thoughts without engaging with them. However, of course, that is easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Lisa LeeLou Thank you for reminding me that OCD is a doubting disease. It’s so hard! You’re right, there isn’t any evidence and I have to use logic to keep myself from confessing something that their is no proof for. Thank you again for you’re help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
So i had really bad pure ocd but recently it’s been sooo much better but i’m in a relationship and me and my bf dated before about 2 years ago then we broke up and now we are back together but i’m having an issue where i will try to go back years and find something i did wrong and i really do not want to find anything to feel wrong about or guilty specifically something i may have done wrong to my boyfriend but the thing is i’m a good girlfriend and i’m very loyal so i don’t want to ruin something for me because of my past if that makes sense like i can’t remember doing anything wrong but my brain keeps going are u sure let’s look at all your interactions with people and it’s so annoying i just wanna live my life in the present does anyone have any tips
- Date posted
- 19w
I have false memory real event ocd, I’ve been married 13 years and I used to constantly bring up past mistakes from when we were dating and it RUINED our marriage, but I got medication and therapy and things got better untill a few weeks ago where everything crumbled. I have a memory that is 13 years ago of me being intimate with my husband (than boyfriend) while being intimate I have a memory of sending a text to a male who obviously liked me but I didi not while my husband was under the covers . And I keep thinking over and over how disgusting and inappropriate it was to do that especially doing it in the middle of being intimate 😞. I have confessed this to my husband last year and he didint believe me saying it’s probably a made up memory and would are not a slut and wouldn’t do that. Now i have guilt all over again for weeks and it’s taking such a toll on me it’s all I think about and try to remember every detail I’ve thought about it so much I don’t even know if it’s 100 percent true. But I can vividly see it when I close my eyes. How do I get over this guilt without confessing? Confessing would absolutely destroy my husband.
- False Memory OCD
- Real Events OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- Young adults with OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Relationship OCD
- Date posted
- 12w
So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.
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