- Username
- ocdstinks
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Im Going through cheating ocd too but different - my ocd tells me i wanted to cheat on my partner 2 years ago with my friend but i just didn’t carry it out and it makes me feel sick because i just don’t see myself doing that or wanting it and i keep getting the feeling that i have to confess this BUT WHY
@Anonymous Don’t confess though i think thats a compulsion
@Anonymous With thoughts, you didn’t actually act! Everyone has those thoughts, it will be okah
@ocdstinks No i still feel horrible though! Because i used to have crushes on these friends but nothing ever happened 🥴🥴 (thank god lol)
@ocdstinks But still the uncertainty is what you have to sit with - whether it was a thought/action you have to just say maybe and continue with ur day and anxiety should go down!
I am sorry that your ocd is giving you a hard time. Here is the important thing - confessing is a compulsion and will make ocd stronger - so I would recommend doing your best and do not compulse. This is hard thing to do, I know. Here is how I may handle this using my response prevention skills. OCD: you cheated on your partner. You were seeing him and your previous partner at the same time. Me: acknowledge the thought and accept the thought as intrusive. Remind myself that I am living my values and my values do not include cheating on my partner. OR ME: maybe I did cheat, or then again maybe I didn’t. I am not going to try and figure this out because I can’t. OCD will not allow me to figure it out. And do my best to go on with my day. The key is to sit with the uncertainty. OCD wants you to provide it certainty and then won’t accept any answer. So arguing with ocd is a waste of time because it will come up with another what if. Live by this motto: if it feels like ocd, treat it like ocd and move on. OCD will say maybe it’s not ocd this time - don’t buy it. That is the key to recovery. If it causes anxiety and upset assume it is ocd . I hope this helps.
@Jeffrey Thank you Jeffrey, this really helped. Sometimes I get stuck in a cycle and it’s hard to see logically. I appreciate your kind advice
@ocdstinks Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you’re struggling. Please keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease and it is going to attach to the things that are most important to us. Therefore, it is not surprising that it is attaching itself to your relationship. Since, as you stated, there is no evidence that anything happened, it seems best to treat these thoughts as any other thoughts. Remember thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts and just thinking something does not make it true. If you try to just push them out of your head, they probably will just increase. Instead try to let yourself sit with the thoughts without engaging with them. However, of course, that is easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier.
@Lisa LeeLou Thank you for reminding me that OCD is a doubting disease. It’s so hard! You’re right, there isn’t any evidence and I have to use logic to keep myself from confessing something that their is no proof for. Thank you again for you’re help
I know we can't ask for reassurance, but I need some opinions from others who understand OCD :( When my gf and I had just gone official, I had another friend who I was close with that I think had feelings for me. When I was drunk one night I called her after she left to pick me up and go to her apartment. My friend told me it was just to keep drinking because my roommate had gone to sleep in the living room, but I was so drunk I can't fully remember and feel I was making the call to fool around. Another time a few weeks later we squeezed hands while very drunk again. I've since stopped drinking and hanging out with this person, and even told my gf what happened. However I didn't go into detail about the fact that I think I might have been trying to cheat or had slightly developed feelings, just told her I felt like I had cheated by making that call at all. She took it really well but I don't feel she understands the severity, and thinks it was mostly the other girl making advances. It scares me so much because I did kiss another girl during my previous relationship yeears ago in college (my current gf doesn't know about this), so I'm scared I'm doing bad again. I feel like I need to confess and fully explain what exactly I'm worried about, and that I think the only thing that stopped me from actually cheating is that she didn't pick me up, but at this point I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not. How do I know? Do I just confess again? I've confessed multiple times to her and it's def put a strain on things :(
I have dealt with ocd confessing for quite a few years now but I have the urge to confess everything bad I’ve ever done to my partner and I’m scared if we get married that I’m not being honest if I don’t tell him about my past - (sleeping around) there was also a cross over where I was speaking to another guy whilst me and my current partner were getting to know each other. I have also spoke to a few guys in the club or pub (only friendly conversations, no flirting) whilst we have been in a relationship which I didn’t think was a big deal at the time but I feel like I’m going to end up loosing him by confessing everything I’ve ever done when I know it’s not a big deal in hindsight, I feel physically sick about this. Does anyone have advise or similar experience?
I’ve been struggling with the intrusive thought that I cheated on my fiancé sometime in the past, even though there’s no evidence of it and it’s completely against my character and everything I stand for. I don’t remember having these thoughts until about 2 months ago. The thoughts were starting to feel so real that I even started doubting my therapist. I was like “how do you know I didn’t actually cheat on my fiancé and I’m not just sitting here lying to you?” Does anyone else struggle with this?😓
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