My ocd is telling me I cheated on my partner 3 years ago but I don’t have any evidence at all. I keep thinking maybe I got my timing off because I was seeing someone a few months before him, but my ocd is saying that was at the same time. Any advice? Should I confess something that might have been three years ago with no evidence? How do I let go?

How do I get over real event/black out OCD? I got a memory of 1.5 years ago. I memory I hadn’t considered since my OCD began. I had recently gotten together with my boyfriend who I am still with. I went out drinking with some friends at their house by myself (stupid I know) I remember the night up until most of the end, when I was with my friend. We were alone briefly, outside. Then I blacked out and woke up in my bed and in my house and didn’t remember how I got home, but I knew my friend had something to do with it. I remember talking to my friend in the morning and he just thanked me for coming over and I thanked him for helping me get home and that was that. I felt guilty for blacking out but never considered that I did anything wrong in that period of time. But I have cheating OCD, so I was worried during the black out period if I did something with my friend to cheat on my bf? I got so paranoid and I didn’t have any memory of any kind of inappropriate behavior other than drinking. Especially because when I get really drunk I fall asleep and fully “black out” . Otherwise I have some flashes of memory here and there. I was also trying to replay the memory (I know it’s a compulsion) and I was starting to distort the memory so I called him. He had assured me I was just passing out from drinking too heavily and he ordered me an Uber home and that I probably fell asleep in the Uber which is why i fully blacked out on the ride home. And that the only time he and I were alone was when he was waiting for my Uber to get me. His story goes along with everything I remember too. Combine that with that I’ve never cheated, I am not attracted to my friend, and I always remember some sort of sexual contact I have with others even when drinking. There are flashes of memory here and there. And that there was no physical evidence left behind of anything. My body was fine the. Next memory, no stains no bruises. Nothing. None of that was present. I know that reaching out was a compulsion, but I had to because it was a real life event that had the potential to be immoral and I feel a duty to pay for any wrong doing I could have committed. I know uncertainty exists, and I will never get 100% certainty on anything. This is the closest I will get to evidence of me not being a cheater. But how can I move on from this? I don’t want to confess to anything I believe I haven’t done. It’s not in my memory, witness testimony, or in my character. I’m just not a cheater. I know that is a compulsion and i will not rope my bf into my obsessions. But that urge is strong. So the question is, how do I move on from this? I want to be able to say “I’m not a cheater, I’ve never cheated” without feeling like a fraud. I feel like a garbage person for not having the confidence in myself and for having to reach out and use the memory of my friend to help me out.

I know we can't ask for reassurance, but I need some opinions from others who understand OCD :( When my gf and I had just gone official, I had another friend who I was close with that I think had feelings for me. When I was drunk one night I called her after she left to pick me up and go to her apartment. My friend told me it was just to keep drinking because my roommate had gone to sleep in the living room, but I was so drunk I can't fully remember and feel I was making the call to fool around. Another time a few weeks later we squeezed hands while very drunk again. I've since stopped drinking and hanging out with this person, and even told my gf what happened. However I didn't go into detail about the fact that I think I might have been trying to cheat or had slightly developed feelings, just told her I felt like I had cheated by making that call at all. She took it really well but I don't feel she understands the severity, and thinks it was mostly the other girl making advances. It scares me so much because I did kiss another girl during my previous relationship yeears ago in college (my current gf doesn't know about this), so I'm scared I'm doing bad again. I feel like I need to confess and fully explain what exactly I'm worried about, and that I think the only thing that stopped me from actually cheating is that she didn't pick me up, but at this point I'm not sure if that's a compulsion or not. How do I know? Do I just confess again? I've confessed multiple times to her and it's def put a strain on things :(

I have this thought where i think ive chested on my partner 2 years ago when drunk at a party I really really dont think it happened because i only had the thought a few months ago “what if i cheated at this party with this guy who i barely even know” I see a future with my boyfriend and i don’t want to confess but i just feel like i have to JUST IJ CASE but i know it could hurt him so much and it probably didnt even happen I cant just ask the guy who i think i cheated with because were not friends and dont speak so if i message he will think im some freak Anyone in a similar boat or overcome this I just don’t know how i can move forward without confessing