- Date posted
- 2y
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 2y
I am sorry that your ocd is giving you a hard time. Here is the important thing - confessing is a compulsion and will make ocd stronger - so I would recommend doing your best and do not compulse. This is hard thing to do, I know. Here is how I may handle this using my response prevention skills. OCD: you cheated on your partner. You were seeing him and your previous partner at the same time. Me: acknowledge the thought and accept the thought as intrusive. Remind myself that I am living my values and my values do not include cheating on my partner. OR ME: maybe I did cheat, or then again maybe I didn’t. I am not going to try and figure this out because I can’t. OCD will not allow me to figure it out. And do my best to go on with my day. The key is to sit with the uncertainty. OCD wants you to provide it certainty and then won’t accept any answer. So arguing with ocd is a waste of time because it will come up with another what if. Live by this motto: if it feels like ocd, treat it like ocd and move on. OCD will say maybe it’s not ocd this time - don’t buy it. That is the key to recovery. If it causes anxiety and upset assume it is ocd . I hope this helps.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Jeffrey Thank you Jeffrey, this really helped. Sometimes I get stuck in a cycle and it’s hard to see logically. I appreciate your kind advice
- Date posted
- 2y
Im Going through cheating ocd too but different - my ocd tells me i wanted to cheat on my partner 2 years ago with my friend but i just didn’t carry it out and it makes me feel sick because i just don’t see myself doing that or wanting it and i keep getting the feeling that i have to confess this BUT WHY
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous Don’t confess though i think thats a compulsion
- Date posted
- 2y
@Anonymous With thoughts, you didn’t actually act! Everyone has those thoughts, it will be okah
- Date posted
- 2y
@ocdstinks No i still feel horrible though! Because i used to have crushes on these friends but nothing ever happened 🥴🥴 (thank god lol)
- Date posted
- 2y
@ocdstinks But still the uncertainty is what you have to sit with - whether it was a thought/action you have to just say maybe and continue with ur day and anxiety should go down!
- User type
- NOCD Alumni
- Date posted
- 2y
@ocdstinks Thank you for sharing what you are going through. I am sorry to hear you’re struggling. Please keep in mind that OCD is the doubting disease and it is going to attach to the things that are most important to us. Therefore, it is not surprising that it is attaching itself to your relationship. Since, as you stated, there is no evidence that anything happened, it seems best to treat these thoughts as any other thoughts. Remember thoughts are just thoughts. They are not facts and just thinking something does not make it true. If you try to just push them out of your head, they probably will just increase. Instead try to let yourself sit with the thoughts without engaging with them. However, of course, that is easier said than done, but with time and practice it does get easier.
- Date posted
- 2y
@Lisa LeeLou Thank you for reminding me that OCD is a doubting disease. It’s so hard! You’re right, there isn’t any evidence and I have to use logic to keep myself from confessing something that their is no proof for. Thank you again for you’re help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
So I have been struggling with the same theme of ocd for 4 months now. My ocd centers around past events/false memories that ocd skews to make seem bad or it twists my thoughts on what my intentions were. this is related to cheating or being weird while I have been in my amazing relationship. I have never cheated on my partner and never will and I believe it is wrong. But my ocd is telling me other wise. I love my partner so very much and I would never want to hurt him but my brain is getting to me. I was getting better. I was trying “maybe I did, maybe I didn’t”, I have been back on meds and in therapy and I stopped confessing random interactions from years/months ago about 1.5 weeks ago and it really helped. But now I woke up this morning and feel the pit in my stomach again. I feel extra critical and like why would you do this? What does this say about you? What was your intention with this? And I’m just stuck mentally reviewing and ruminating on everything you could imagine. I know my personality and I know in the moment maybe I did find them attractive but mainly I was just being nice or funny or even just a good friend, but looking back now I’m like “was it flirting?” “Why did I still snap this person” “why would I even talk to them” and stuff like that. I feel this intense sense of guilt. I have told my partner everything that I keep getting stuck on and he didn’t care, he said he understands or “that’s a little weird but it’s okay” and hasn’t missed a beat. He said eveything I’ve told him is normal and I’ve heard that from my friends too. I just really need help. I don’t know what to do anymore. I am so disappointed because I thought I was gonna be done with this, so why am I still so worried and caught up in this.
- Date posted
- 18w
since one of my biggest fears/events of my reocd happened (not the way i thought it would happen!) i've been healing and understanding a lot of things (like the fact i was the one being abused in my old relationship) but thanks to that my ocd has been trying to launch on a new event and i don't know. i was in a cut and off relationship with my ex three years ago, this happened when i was an older teenager and really confused. during the time i cut off momentary with him i started to get compliments and cute messages in an anonymous confession page and used to post them replying in a playful way or just with genuine curiousity. the thing is, i got with my ex once again in secret for the last time but honestly i'm realizing lately that i didn't love him anymore and being with him made me feel terrible but i wasn't strong enough to leave him once for all. i didn't tell any of my friends about this because they hated him (for a good reason) and i was also disappointed on myself for this. he pushed me a lot make it public and i would say to him a lot of times that i wasn't sure. the thing is, that i still got that type of messages on that anonymous confession page and still publish them on my profile while being with my ex in secret, but eventually i stopped doing that. then i finally left my ex (was horrible). but since what happened to me, i cant stop thinking if that was cheating – it was cheating? i'm not sure anymore and i feel like im going to have a relapse.
- Date posted
- 16w
I’m currently in a very emotionally stressful situation with my partner. We had a huge argument because I did something I had promised not to do again: I looked at my ex-partner’s profile. To me, it didn’t have any real emotional meaning. It was impulsive, meaningless, almost automatic. But my partner was deeply hurt – and I understand why. I told him about it. We talked. It was hard. But after that, things got even worse for me. I suddenly remembered that it didn’t just happen once. And since then, I’ve been stuck in this thought loop and I don’t know if it’s OCD or not So, should I tell him that it was more than once?”– if I should tell him, even if it might mean he’ll leave me. Should I confess this? I urgently need advice. I don’t know if this is OCD or not – the thought suddenly came to me in that situation. I have been formally diagnosed with OCD. But if I know that my partner would see this as very serious and might possibly leave me over it – shouldn’t I still tell him? I feel so awful and I’m having panic attacks. Is this OCD?
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