ROCD and Morality

Anyone else have this issue? Everytime my brain believes I have done something “morally wrong” (would make my boyfriend upset), i have this urge to confess and explain in every single little detail what I did “wrong”. I then feel a sense of relief, but then after confessing, my brain spirals and wishes I would have said things differently. I them feel intense guilt because I feel like I lied to him, and that he still doesn’t know the real truth about what I did…It never ends because I always just keep spiraling, it feels like I can never truly be 100% content with whatever I tell him. I should add, I never intentionally lie to him but my brain keeps telling me that I keep lying and deceiving him. Any advice??

bablti

Date posted: 2y ago

This is my main OCD theme. It is horrendous. I'm exhausted

Erin P

Date posted: 2y ago

Like any compulsion, asking for reassurance just leads to more uncertainty and more confession urges. Resisting confessions is the first step - and sitting with the anxiety of resisting and accepting that you don’t have certainty. That’s the hard thing about ERP - resisting what OCD wants you to do. But it’s what gives you back your life.

sydney2147

Date posted: 2y ago

@Erin P I agree, i’m still struggling to sit with the uncertainty. Every day gets a little bit easier, and it’s a work in progress for sure.

Erin P

Date posted: 2y ago

@sydney2147 Sounds like you are making progress. I know it’s hard. You can do it.

issphra 🫶🏻

Date posted: 18w ago

I’m sick of confessing, advice please

I don’t know how to stop confessing. It’s driving me insane. I confess every little thing to my boyfriend. I confessed that I liked attention (this is so obviously human), that I liked it when people found me pretty (also very human??) I confessed about a million other things and I feel out of control. I felt so safe with him last night that it just started pouring out of me. I felt guilty and awful and I just needed release, I couldn’t breathe I felt like I was dying. I’m stuck in a confessing loop and I know I’m only making things worse. Has anyone experienced this and been able to overcome it? It feels absolutely horrible and impossible. I tried to ERP this and I genuinely feel like I am suffocating if I hold off. I feel so disappointed in myself, but I can’t seem to stop. I even had a dream where I confessed to him and woke up needed to confess that. I’m scared I’ll start sharing my worst intrusive thoughts I’ve had if I feel too safe around my bf. Help please :(

Songtothesiren

Date posted: 13w ago

Rocd

Does Rocd make it nearly impossible to forgive your partner for anything. Whether it is big or small? My situation is so gray area where there’s something my bf did that I feel like I’m not okay with but he did this when we were first dating (not bf and gf yet). I ruminate all day about it bc I don’t want to lose him and see a future with him and I know he loves me so purely. But I also feel like I’m going against my morals here bc I do feel betrayed by what he did. I try to forgive him by diminishing my feelings and telling myself “he never did anything physical with a girl or went out with another girl while we were together” but still feel so hurt that he even messaged another girl while us dating. He’s given me an explanation and has proved how much I can trust him so I’m just completely stuck on whether I should forgive something I know I would’ve never done to him or leave him even though the only thing he’s done wrong was before us becoming official. I’ve broken up with him countless times over this situation bc I feel like I “can’t live with it” but then immediately when we break up I want him back and I kind of understand his explanation and reasoning. I don’t know what is ocd and what is my real intuition anymore. I genuinely think it’s both. Are any of you guys in the same boat?

truespartan48

Date posted: 8w ago

Struggling with potential ROCD

Good morning. Anyone struggle with ROCD? When I think about what I have done in the past, I feel immense guilty (I feel the tightness in my chest) and have the urge to tell my partner about it, even if my partner says she doesn’t need to know if it is going to hurt her and that I need to talk to my therapist about it first. Any suggestions on how to manage the urge/urgency? Thanks!

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ROCD and Morality

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