- Username
- sabrinaindigo
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Is my partner's defensiveness and lack of accountability a sign we should separate?
accountability
my partner in arguments feels like when i confront him about him being mean or rude , he gets defensive and when i distance myself or get mad then he apologizes. and some of his apologies somehow include me. and don’t get me wrong we have a lot of good times and moments. and i love him deeply. but is this a sign we shouldn’t be together? he is 23 years old and he has trouble with accountability and he victimizes himself. and i am so tired i love him a lot and i don’t want to throw away 2 years. plus he has been so patient and caring with my ROCD. but sometimes he apologizes genuinely but i feel like what if he’s doing that because he doesn’t want to lose me? does it ever get better , i don’t want to let go of him. i want to fix us. do we have hope? he said he wants to and will fix himself. but what if thats an empty statement to get me off his back? it makes me feel like he’s evil sometimes but i know he can also be really caring and kind. he also is an emotional person. if one bad thing happens it ruins most of his day and he takes everything to heart. and when we argue he’s so defensive it seems like we are talking to each other and having 2 different convos. he completely misses my point at times and it seems like he isn’t even listening and he seems irritated. but he wouldn’t even have to hear this again if he listens. how do i know he isn’t just an evil person. i just think about all the bad things and my mind is blocking the good memories. so i literally just see him as an evil person in this moment. and its making me feel uneasy. if you read this whole novel thanks