help??

is it normal to get reoccurring thoughts on “what if i’m actually crazy and i’m just not self aware?” or “what if i’m insane and i don’t know it?” i’m scared of being judged for this i’ve never opened up about it. the thoughts are so draining it’s ruining my life. it effects my every day life it’s always in the back of my head. i feel like if i HAVE to think about these type of things constantly because “what if it’s actually true?”. another thing is death and the fear of dying. it freaks me out it has since i was little. but recently i’ve been thinking more in depth about it like “what’s the point of life” or “what happens after we die?” or “what if im imagining all of this and life isn’t even real? what if it’s all just made up in my head?” and it then it ends up fueling the thoughts about me going crazy. its hard to distract myself and it’s giving me so much anxiety. is there any way to quiet my thoughts or get over my fears? or maybe a way to prove my fears wrong? idk

angelbruises

Date posted: 2y

it's not stupid, i definitely do this ): the first part of your post is super relatable. i care too much about what people think about me. to the point that it causes such strange intrusive thoughts 😵‍💫 i hope you feel better soon, you're not alone!

raigqn

Date posted: 2y

@angelbruises thank you so much

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

The greater the doubt, the greater the awakening. Today I was feeling well and centered, but became dragged down by the constant questioning you are speaking of here. The compulsions are a reminder almost to keep me grounded against my mind for fear I'll drift off and lose control and act on my thoughts. Hahaha it's kinda silly actually.

raigqn

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous thank you, i felt so alone i appreciate this greatly

Scoobertdoobert

Date posted: 2y

Haha yes this is my main thing. Totally distressing. Totally hard to put into words for someone else to understand. Totally not worth trying to prove it wrong, especially not in the heat of the moment. The best way I found to deal with it is like this: 1.) To every single existential question that your brain spits at you, answer it with “yup probably”. Audibly. (I respond to questions like this too) 2.) when a thought like that gives you that intense type of detaching anxiety that feels so unique to the existential subtype: lean into it in the moment. The fear of the thoughts themselves gave them strength for me, and leaning into the feelings of anxiety with bravery when they popped up “in the wild” rather than going down the rabbit hole of “oh no not this again” reduced the feelings of anxiety significantly to the point where I now have some mental space from those thoughts. 3.) I have a comfort thought (which is not really like a compulsion), more of a positive way of looking at things to ground myself: we wake up in the same bodies every morning, with the same life, with the same friends and family and peers, and in the same environment. Maybe it is all ~this or that~, but you have the ability to enjoy the life you have regardless. Other people think these thoughts too.

raigqn

Date posted: 2y

@Scoobertdoobert thank you so so much i you don’t know how much i appreciate this

raigqn

Date posted: 2y

sorry this probably sounds stupid

vmpstr_

Date posted: 18w

what if's

does anyone has any tips how to stop the "what if cycle"?? i have very disturbing what if thoughts on daily basis and they're rlly scary always. i know they're not real but sometimes they feel so real and possible to happen and i hate this

oopiedoop

Date posted: 18w

tw for talk abt death

the concept of death & existence is ruining my life rn 😭 im losing so much sleep. i try to close my eyes & all my brain wants to do is try to wrap itself around the idea of what not existing feels like & i get this sinking feeling that grows & grows until my eyes snap open & i have to go back on my phone to distract myself until im literally too exhausted to keep my head up & my body forces me to sleep. it makes having the motivation to do anything hard because all i can think is "it wont matter when i die". it sucks because i know that having MORE in my life might actually improve this, im 21 unemployed still living at home with ASD & i know once i have a job that will definitely give me more to focus on & other stresses to have lol, but i feel like im stuck in the endless cycle of "not having a life makes me worried im wasting my life & itll all be over so fast" & then "being so stressed about my life & time passing is exhausting & makes it too hard to find the motivation to do anything other than sit here" & repeat. spirituality is hard because i like thinking that way, like afterlife & shit, but i worry that im just "in denial" & using it as an unhealthy coping mechanism that leads to magical thinking thoughts. then its like i have some sort of meta ocd spiral obsessing over if what im doing is bad & unhealthy for my ocd or not. i LIKE being spiritual but im worrying im hurting myself & doing a compulsion thinking that way. it also doesnt help that religious spaces have hurt & traumatized so many people & im terrified of being apart of a "delusional" community that spreads a false narrative & attacks anyone that doesnt agree with them. i know i am not like that but i worry im still apart of the problem even thinking this way. at the end of the day no one knows the truth, no one knows what happens after death. im just struggling to sit with the uncertainty. it is so late rn idk of any of my words make sense lol

kenzieisfound

Date posted: 14w

fear of losing control??

I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I relate so much to what people here are going through. I used to think it was just anxiety, and I felt like I could handle that. But lately I’ve been spiraling—constantly afraid that what I’m feeling is something worse, like psychosis or losing control of my mind. I feel so detached and scared, and I just want peace again. I have anxiety doing the smallest things, like the thought of waking up everyday and even eating give me straight up panic. I am afraid all the time, it’s paralyzing. And a lot of people say someone with psychosis wouldn’t worry that they’re in it, but then I convince myself I’ve been in it this whole time, and haven’t known, and that maybe I’ve been doing weird stuff. Idk. I also get really scared of labels. Even the idea of OCD makes me feel like I’ll never get better or like I’ll be stuck like this forever. I just want to be okay. If anyone has felt this way—confused, overwhelmed, or scared of what’s happening in their mind—I’d really appreciate any support or encouragement.

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