Need advice - convinced im a cheater

In uni i had close make friends and two months into meeting my now boyfriend (whilst we were getting to know eachothers - at this point we chilled a but but we didn’t explicitly say if we even liked eachother) i sent a pic of me in my new silky pjs to him to impress him😂 it wasn’t revealing it was a shirt and shorts but i was feeling myself My brain is telling me i sent it to other male friends too to get their attention I think this behaviour is disgusting and i would never do that in a relationship but i feel like i have to tell him that i did this 3 years ago because i guess something was potentially blossoming😭 Also im remembering inappropriate jokes i had with male friends in the past which i just didnt see as bad but i wouldnt joke with them anymore😭😭😭

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 2y

DONT tell him. Not because he would care, but because you are going to start a loop or obsessing over real events and false memories and keep confessing things you don’t need to. Trust me, I have been there with this, and it does absolutely nothing to help my relationship or to make Me feel better long term. A new thought always pops up and a new confession comes. My husband used to beg me to stop telling him these things lol. Everyone has a different definition of cheating, but I can tell you right now my definition does not include joking or sending pics of myself clothed to people when I haven’t even discussed officially entering a relationship with someone. I also don’t think it’s disgusting- that’s so mean to say to yourself! You’re a human being! We like attention and validation! Also you have no idea who he was talking to or sending pics to!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Maybe,MaybeNot Thank you for this- i really appreciate it🥺🥺 been feeling really low recently because on top of this mistake- i have joked with my mate about some stuff i wouldn’t joke about now but IM SURE it was before my bf but my brain is convincing me that i said it during my relationship 😔 my bf defo wouldnt be happy with this type of joke at all

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous This may be reassurance but these are facts: you’re a human being, We all do stuff like that, Most of us do worse. You can’t live by impossible standards. You get to define the rules. Your boyfriend is not God- he doesn’t make the rules. All you can do is do whatever you think is best in each moment which is all we are ever really doing. Give yourself a chance to sit through this. Please don’t confess. I promise it won’t help.

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@Maybe,MaybeNot Thank you! Although its crazy hard im really not confessing - i get moments where i completely forget about this and then it hits me like a truck😂😭

Maybe,MaybeNot

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous I promise you’ll get through it and that you don’t have to confess to move on. I have done so much worse than that and confessed to my husband and he never considered it cheating and always forgave me and even asked me to marry him after all of it. You have to be your own best friend through this. You deserve to let yourself off the hook for being human.

zoovy

Date posted: 25w

rocd

i have a very strong fear of cheating on my partner due to past experiences in my relationship and so i was scrolling through old messages and i saw i was texting another girl i used to play video games and i also tried to get together with and in this conversation we had talked about how i had got a girlfriend and then we played some games but the messages just seem flirty and i guess i just feel guilty or like what if i cheated and didn’t remember or were my intentions at the time to be flirty does anyone have any advice on how to deal with this?

Relationship OCD

anonymous737...

Date posted: 22w

feeling like i did something

I often feel like i did something wrong even tho i am positive i didn’t, my boyfriend and i have been together for like 6 months and i’ve been completely loyal to him the whole time but recently i’ve been feeling the need to confess that i cheated on him even tho i didn’t and there’s absolutely no proof that i did something even close, i don’t talk to other men and if i do my boyfriend has full access to my phone and it’s usually a friend or me asking a simple question but i still feel the need to confess even tho i’ve done nothing wrong🥲 someone please help it’s so confusing

anonymous737...

Date posted: 22w

plss helpppp

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Need advice - convinced im a cheater

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