TW// rocd sex trauma

i have thoughts about incest, specifically from trauma, and i love my boyfriend and we are intimate. 99 percent of the time when i have intrusive thoughts during sex im able to move past them, but yesterday, my mother ended up texting me during it (TMI i know lol), which stressed me out, which caused more intrusive thoughts PLUS groinal responses, then she decided to go into the kitchen that’s RIGHT outside my room, causing more thoughts and feelings, while this was happening me and my bf were intimate in the moment and it felt as if the thoughts and feelings helped me finish, i was trying so hard NOT to think about them that i sortve thought about them on purpose???? it’s weird to explain… i told my bf about it since he knows about my ocd and he suggested we could take a break if it ever got that bad again, but it’s making me question myself and my morals i guess like now i feel like i really enjoy those thoughts and im just making excuses for myself. i feel so horrible and this is so haunting to me my ocd therapist doesn’t even know how to do erp for this according to her and i just feel so stuck

Username: paulinacoffinpaulinacoffin

Date posted: 1y ago

you’re totally not alone in this— a hard thing about groinals is that they can pretty much happen for any reason, and even though it’s not like real sexual desire, it still has effects. for one, you focus a lot more of your attention on your body, so you become really sensitive to any arousal at all. second, anxiety can actually end up increasing blood flow to your genitals, which is normal for everyone, not just people with ocd. these things can sometimes make it easier to finish, just because your organs are more sensitive— that’s all. i understand the guilt of like “oh god did i finish to the thoughts? do i actually like these thoughts??” but it’s a bodily response to anxiety— it happens, and it’s something you’re totally not alone with. hope this helps! ❤️

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 1y ago

@paulinacoffin thank you so much this helped a lot. it just all feels so real, and sometimes i know it’s a groinal response but sometimes it’s so strong and constant it’s like is it really?

Username: paulinacoffinpaulinacoffin

Date posted: 1y ago

@cs223 and i get that! but you have to remember ocd is called the doubt disorder for a reason. it’ll convince you of such crazy stuff and it all feels so very real. but if the anxiety is constant i can imagine the feeling is constant too. ocd is a tough one for sure. sending you some positive energy, you’ll get through this. 🤞

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 1y ago

@paulinacoffin thank you. sending positive energy ur way as well 🤍

Username: anxiousmolluskanxiousmollusk

Date posted: 1y ago

@cs223 I agree so much with the above!! You’re not alone ♥️

Username: lmboltlmbolt

Date posted: 1y ago

no i totally get this.. groinal response is so so hard. it makes you question everything

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 1y ago

@lmbolt yes exactly… it feels so real and my brain sexualized my trauma so much😞

Username: paulinacoffinpaulinacoffin

Date posted: 1y ago

i also recommend watching chrissie hodges’ youtube videos on groinals (and ocd in general) if you want more information!

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 1y ago

@paulinacoffin i watched some of hers in the past but I need to really watch it thank you for the advice❤️

Username: emmerstopiaemmerstopia

Date posted: 1y ago

New to ocd diagnosis but also struggle with these thoughts. The people who commented know how to speak on this better than I do, but I want to add. While I may experience the arousal sometimes, since I’m so new to OCD, I just remind myself that I knew myself for years before these intrusive thoughts started happening and know that I don’t actually want to see what it would be like to have sex with my brother. Sitting here typing this comment it seems so obvious to me that it isn’t something I want. But I know if I had one of these thoughts right now it would be harder to convince myself of that. Idk what I’m trying to say, but basically want to offer support that as someone who downloaded this app today/is still learning about OCD I don’t for a second think you’re actually someone who wants these things to happen. They read as very normal, intrusive thoughts and are actually EXTREMELY comforting for someone like me to know other people experience.

Username: co653co653

Date posted: 1y ago

@emmerstopia thank you this helps me a lot and thank you for sharing your experiences, it sucks when it’s immediate family members as well. but before my ocd got bad, and i didn’t know it was ocd, i still had weird thoughts and feelings that always made me feel off, and knew it wasn’t me and what i like and once i found out an answer for it it helped a lot.

Username: nlnnoaia

Date posted: 5y ago

TW: I’m so desperate lately. I can’t sleep, eat or do anything else than feeling anxious and unworthy, full of guilt. A couple of days ago I had sex with my boyfriend and wasn’t turned on and suddenly I thought about something that would turn me on in that moment, thought of different things and suddenly I thought „Just think about children, just this one time“ and I feel like I didn’t do anything against it, I even think I enjoyed it and since then I’m full of fear because I always thought OCD means you do not have these thoughts because you want them but because you can’t control them and you do not act on them. But now I feel like I have and I can’t stop thinking I really am a pedophile now. I feel so anxious depressed and guilty and I do not know what to do, I went to my therapist today and she said it’s my POCD, but I feel like a liar, I’m feeling like maybe I don’t have POCD, I am just denying what I truly am it is horrible I don’t know what to do or think. I’m lost

Username: gbgsb

Date posted: 2y ago

incest ocd

i’ve never had a thought like this before. i have the best relationship with my dad. but tonight a gross thought came up in my head. and instantly i was like um no. i didn’t get a sensation or any attraction or happiness from it. so i know i don’t like it. but for some reason my brain was telling me. “say this say this say this” as he was telling me goodnight and obviously i’m not gonna say it over the app but it just freaked me out. i didn’t say it and i didn’t want to at all but my mind and thoughts felt as if it were trying to force me too. now i can’t stop thinking about it and what would have happened if i said it. i feel so gross and weird and idk how to talk to anyone about it because my mom is very understanding and she understands this stuff very very well but it’s still an extremely hard concept to bring up to my mom. idk what to do:( i’m lost.

Username: lh67234

Date posted: 20w ago

pocd ruining sex

tmi warning for sex and intrusive thoughts, sorry😭 i have sexual trauma that sometimes makes sex with my boyfriend (who i love very much, is very understanding, and whom im very much attracted to) very difficult. but it was getting better until the pocd theme hit out of nowhere. i can't let him touch me sexually at all without getting some kind of intrusive thought or image and its disgusting- and if i manage to ignore it long enough to focus on how what we're doing feels and start feeling good, i freak out. "what if this feels good because of the thoughts?" i just want to be able to have that experience with him without ocd ruining it. i cant even think about it anymore. any advice?? thank you🫶🫶

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TW// rocd sex trauma

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