My anxiety is pretty much gone...the thoughts are not...here’s the thoughts I’m having... -it’s not hocd this time, it’s the real thing -omg you’re attracted to your friend you’ve known for 18 years and you’re just now realizing it -when you see your boyfriend you’re gonna realize you don’t love him because you’re a lesbian -then I get intrusive thoughts about kissing girls...over and over and over again The hardest part is that the anxiety is gone so I don’t know if these are real thoughts...what if they are? What if I’m lying to myself? What if every boy I have ever fallen for in the past was just a cover? What if one day I’ll wake up and decide that men just don’t do it for me anymore? But I love them. I always have. The broad shoulders, the big arms, the height, the scent, the feeling of a boner on my butt while we spoon (so sorry tmi moment), I’ve loved them since I was 3! What the hell happened?

Everyday this is starting to feel less and less like ocd. I constantly feel anxious. So here’s how it goes Every single girl I see I worry “what if I am attracted to them” If I am not attracted to every guy i see I feel guilty I can’t imagine myself with a guy anymore Can’t imagine myself with a girl either (but for some reason it’s telling me I would love that) I feel sick all the time I constantly feel anxious I have so many what if questions I worry that this may have been me all along I was just unknowingly suppressing it I worry that all my past crushes weren’t real I feel anxious towards any girl now I feel like I am never going to love a guy again I feel like my case is different, that mine is real I can’t tell whether I feel aroused or disgusted by the thoughts The thoughts don’t leave my head and I’m constantly anxious. I am not attracted to women I am not attracted to men anymore This sparked up all of the sudden I can’t tell whether I actually want to be with a women I can’t imagine my future without the thoughts coming I feel different than anyone else That fact that I am even having the thoughts makes me anxious I can’t think a girl is pretty without immediately thinking what if I am attracted to them For some reason I am convinced I am a lesbian all of the sudden Can’t imagine myself with a guy anymore. Can’t tell if I’m in the closet Feel so anxious Does this sound in any way like ocd?

I’m so afraid I might be lesbian. I was very anxious at first but it started to calm down. I’m only 15 and I have a boyfriend I love. At least I think I do, I always chose to question everything and over analyze. I found out about hocd and it described everything I was feeling. I’d take test and read articles like “am I lesbian” but I have never fantasied a girl or wanted to be with a girl sexually or romantically. But what if I’m in denial? I do think girls are physically attractive but I never crushed on a girl. I have always crushed on boys. And liked being with them. I’m just so lost. My anxiety about it had calmed down. But the question is still there sometimes. Earlier today, I found a girl pretty and I got scared thinking that meant something. Then I read about women who have married men, but they know they’re lesbian. I’m scared that that’ll Happen to me. I don’t want to be lesbian. No disrespect. But I just want to be happy. I think I’ve suffered from ocd before. Tell me anyone if I’m wrong. But I used to have thoughts of that my boyfriend would murder me in the future because of theses videos that triggered me. It caused me so much pain and felt so real. That I eventually started to think I’d murder my mom and sister for no reason. I felt so helpless. But I got through it. I hope I get through this. Please any advice? Is this hocd?? Does anyone else feel this way?

I feel like my sexual orientation has changed, it truly feels like I’ll never be straight again and I’m heartbroken. I go out in public and I check if I’m attracted to the pretty girls, I start to make new female friends and I worry I like them, I look at them in ways I never did before just to “make sure”. I worry that I’ll enjoy sex and feelings with girls more and that it’ll be greater than what I have with my partner. I worry that my struggle with intimacy with my boyfriend is because I don’t like men as opposed to my insecurities and inexperience and shyness. It feels like I can’t find appeal in men anymore and even though I find no appeal in women either, my mind tells me my lack of attraction means I Need to be attracted to women. I don’t want to. I’ve had two lesbian dreams this week and it felt like I wanted it. I try to imagine myself in same sex scenarios and I get confused , it feels like I want it when at the beginning of this it just didn’t click. It feels like all my close girl friends from my past are secret crushes. It feels like my attraction to men was never real. I’m so scared and so afraid and so lost, I feel like a prisoner. It feels like my sexuality has changed, I Must be attracted to women. Although I know I love my boyfriend deeply, I now worry a women will come and take his place. I hate this. It makes me feel like my bond with my boyfriend isn’t as special , when my bond with him is what I treasure most. Almost All the best days of my life were with him and now I feel like I’ll have to give it up to be with a woman. I feel like I’m living a lie, I feel like I’m going to have to come out and be with women, my grandma will treat me differently. It feels too real, way way too real.