I'm looking for people that share my symptoms but haven't seen anyone yet 🙁 I have repetitive intrusive thoughts and self talk, and obsession with symmetry and "just right" ocd. It's very exhausting.
just curious what do you mean by self talk? i have some symptoms i would call that but idk if we r talking about the same thing
It's hard to explain but I always repeat to myself things I need to do, or things I've already done, or talk to myself about everyday things that happen in my life, and if it doesn't sound right I have to say it over until it does.. In my mind and when I'm talking to people too, If someone interrupts me when I'm in the middle of saying something, I have to start over so it's "just right" and to make sure that they heard me and understand. I also ruminate on things I've said or done or what other people say and do. I also have a need for symmetry and I don't like odd numbers. I sometimes feel panicky if I feel like something isn't straight or even..or done the "right way".There's more but anyway I hope that makes sense!
@EHope77 i get you!! i do rlly similar things. i think through things that happened during my day or stuff like that over and over as if i was telling someone about it. if i get interrupted or dont have it perfect i have to start over too. i dont have too many problems with symmetry but i get really stressed if things arent grouped right.. like if someone mixes markers and pencils in the pencil cups at work.
Very common on here, so it is t just you.
@Nica Isn’t*
I’m irrationally terrified of being found somehow by someone who knows me but I’m trying to post anyway. Not sure if I qualify as young adult or mid-life at this point because I’m about to be 30. Hi, I’m new here and I’m in the process of getting a diagnosis. I’m already diagnosed with autism, GAD, and probable ADHD, and I believe I’ve had varying subtypes of OCD since childhood. My worst OCD-related issue right now has been constant reassurance seeking. I’ve fallen into a trap of constantly doing it and without reassurance I’m terrified to make decisions in my new job. It’s causing me to ask too many questions I already know the answers to which makes me not look competent. Even though I’m somewhat experienced in my field of work, starting this new job has me feeling like I’m starting in the field all over again because I’m so bad these days with working independently since I can’t reassure myself that what I’m doing is correct. I’ve been stressed out of my mind and have come close to losing my job because the stress has exacerbated my autistic struggles such as meltdowns and social issues and I’m also battling the ADHD and GAD on top of it. I’ve also been pushing away people who are close to me with my reassurance seeking because I have problems with not being satisfied with any piece of advice or reassurance given to me by friends and family. They can say things will be okay a thousand times and even though I’m the one who asked I will fight them on it and I’m getting tired of my own difficult behavior and obsessive thoughts. I finally got into therapy again to try and save my job and my relationships from the clutches of my various mental illnesses and I’m just looking for community here.
I’m 19 and struggle with health anxiety, contamination, harm, and magical thinking OCD and would love to meet people with similar experiences and hardships because I have never had an opportunity for such a supportive community!
Hello, I’m new to this app. I’ve always had an anxious brain, and I’ve had coping mechanisms for as long as I can remember. When I was a kid, from as early as I could spell, until I was probably early teens, I would constantly write words in my head along to the beat of music. It’s such a vivid memory because I never stopped doing it. The word had to perfectly match up to the lyric and I loved that it kept my brain busy. I grew out of that, but felt like good context. My anxiety increased drastically around ages 17-19, and I began therapy. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety and panic disorder, due to having a panic attack nearly every day at that time. I overcame that as well, and now the panic attacks are every now and then, but the anxiety is constant, and some recent symptoms have led me to believe I might have some form of OCD. Maybe not. I’m trying to understand myself and get better so I joined this app to make sense of things. Lately I’ve been having really intense intrusive thoughts. I’m really embarassed and they make me feel like a bad person. Thoughts pop in my head seemingly out of nowhere. It will be an image of me harming myself or someone else in a really bad way. (Trigger warning) for example the other day I couldn’t shake the image of me putting a knife through my own forehead, although it’s not something I want to do. Or I’ll imagine someone killing me. I imagine my loved ones dying often. The thoughts feel so out of my control it’s insane. I hate them. Another persistent issue that isn’t as new is replaying social scenarios. I’m a hairstylist so this one is difficult since I meet a bunch of new people every day. I obsess over how I act and if people like me. I will impulsively say things all the time and they will haunt me for weeks. I question even my closest friends and family who show their love. I find myself so angry and numb and like I have so much built up emotion and a busy mind always. While doing my job I spiral really badly if any little thing goes wrong and it’s embarassing. I know there’s more but I can’t think of it now. I just want to feel better and like I’m not constantly battling my mind.
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