should i be concerned, does this happen to anyone?

tw / this theme is literally ruining my life. I can’t get a moments peace, all the symptoms I have feel so real and googling the symptoms caused more to show up and it’s so scary now. I don’t know what to do. I feel like I might actually have it and I’m so scared. nothing is helping. I’m going to be stuck in this theme forever or actually become psychotic or schizophrenic. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m over analyzing every little symptom as possible schizophrenia, and no matter how many times people tell me “crazy people don’t know they’re crazy”, my ocd still has me convinced I have it or I’m developing it. I’m so, so sick of my anxiety and ocd. I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel trapped. these are just some of my symptoms: - Almost constantly seeing something out of the corner of my eye, shadows/figures/moving, etc. - Difficulty concentrating. - Newer symptom - difficulty talking (more frequent pauses in talking, forgetting what I was saying, struggling to find words, struggling to form sentences for a minute before I figure it out) - Extremely stressed and anxious almost at all times. - Extreme fear of losing my mind - Occasional feeling of impending doom - Forgetfulness (easily forgetting what I was saying/doing or what I was going to say/do) - Constantly pausing or rewinding videos/TV to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating the sound. - Occasional thoughts of “is this real?” “What if I’m actually just dreaming?” “Am I hallucinating all of this?” type of thing. - Difficulty getting to sleep, every night I don’t sleep until like 1-2 a.m. when I inevitably can’t keep my eyes open anymore and pass out, frequently wake up throughout the night Side note on this one: I’m afraid to sleep due to my OCD convincing me that something will happen in my sleep or I’ll sleepwalk or something like that. - Dissociation/zoning out - Almost always tired/yawning/exhausted/heavy eye feeling - Lack of interest in hobbies/shows/etc I’m so, so tired. I feel so hopeless and like my worst fears are actually coming true. Googling schizophrenia and psychosis just caused more symptoms and now I feel miserable. I wish I didn’t have to worry about this. I wish I could live happily and carefree. all of this venting and still nothing seems to help. Nothings helping. I’m just going to be stuck like this forever. I want to cry, I want to break down. I’m sick of living in fear. I’m sick of questioning my sanity. Now I’m spiraling that maybe I am schizophrenic or psychotic and this is just the beginning and it’s just going to get worse from here and I’ll end up losing myself and my mind/sanity. What if I lose the ones I love around me because they can’t stand me anymore. Im worried im not going to be myself anymore and im never going to recover and its just going to get worse.

i have such a fear of psychosis and schizophrenia, so i’m scared that i’m going to develop it and lose control over my OCD thoughts. If im very tired and my eyes get heavy i get so scared that im going to go crazy or that i have one or the other. and if i have a panic attack im convinced im going to develop it. does anyone have any tips on how to work though this? i saw a thing online that said people with these dont know the have it and that scared me into thinking i have it and dont know.

My OCD has been terrible the for the past two weeks. I have a fear that I will never be able to get out of the thought loop. I am hyper aware of my thoughts and it disturbs me. I haven’t been able to eat for 10 days. I force myself. I haven’t been able to sleep for more than a couple hours. Then I wake up and ruminate for a couple hours, until I’m exhausted. I’m also afraid I’ll never sleep well again. And I’m afraid I’ll never eat and enjoy my food again. I’m afraid I’ll never be able to stop thinking about this enough to enjoy my family ever again.