Fear of being alone forever

i don't know why but nowadays i realized i am all alone. I never had a boyfriend,i don't have friends (actually i have a friend,but it seems like he don't want to talk to me anymore) i don't have a job that i like,i don't have creativity anymore for my hobby,its just me and my family,so i think my ocd theme who is to worry a lot about my family all the time is because i don't have nothing,so i have to worry about them otherwise i would have nothing to care about,because i don't have self love enough to focus or to worry about myself,even though i try so hard. And i think if i have a boyfriend now,my ocd can disappear,but i am not pretty enough for a good boyfriend and i don't wanna someone who will treat me like shit.

Sweetysalty

Date posted: 2y

Im also going through this. I dont have job not even studying stuck in house doing nothing feel like im disgusted and I'm worried that I'm not doing anything in my life. I dont even have hobbies but I try and write list that I have to do tomorrow like top 3 priorities in this week, my goals habits that I have to improve to make my self better. I'm trying by taking small steps at a time. I think write diary for tomorrow the list you have to do and I hope u will get better. Best of luck😊

ingriddddd

Date posted: 2y

Yes,i feel the same. Always making plans about tomorrow,but never actually achieving everything. But i am proud i learned english,i am studying german and working everyday. But this is not enough to change my life. But i believe in small steps everyday,it is so true. I wish you the best too 😊

Anon2294

Date posted: 2y

@ingriddddd I feel the same way at times. What I find really helpful are activities that tap into my creative tendencies but deliver an immediate payoff and a sense of accomplishment like cooking. I love being creative but some creative activities can take a while before any product is produced, giving OCD plenty of opportunities to sabotage. At least with activities where there's an immediate result you can build up your self-esteem little by little. Hope that helps 😊

ingriddddd

Date posted: 2y

@Anon2294 Thanks. I like to write,but i don't feel comfortable writing about my feelings,it seems dangerous. But i will try to introduce it in my life again

Anon2294

Date posted: 2y

@ingriddddd Dangerous in what way? That someone could read it? You could always try typing your journal and then saving it onto an encrypted hard drive with a password so that only you can read it 👍

ingriddddd

Date posted: 2y

@Anon2294 No. Magical ocd,i think if write something it will happen.

🫧🩷🪷

Date posted: 2y

I’m 18 n I’ve never have a boyfriend. I missed Prom because I was a mental disaster bc of my OCD & didn’t have anybody to go with. I haven’t hung out w anybody my age since summer 2019, lmfaooo. I be feeling like I’m not pretty enough for a bf too, and I also don’t like most guys personality wise because they’re really dumb and lack respect for me as a person. You’re def not alone

ingriddddd

Date posted: 2y

Oh its so hard. I want to get married,to have kids but with someone who is "perfect" to me,but i can't keep a conversation even with those who don't care about their own lives. I understand you and i feel like i'm ageing so soon and tell myself is because of pandemic,but even so many years before the pandemic i was stuck in the same situation that i am now

🫧🩷🪷

Date posted: 2y

@ingriddddd I want to have a family and fall in love too. OCD also makes me feel like I don’t deserve anything good though. It is a struggle .

Gato0z

Date posted: 23w

Any advice?

I feel completely unlovable. I have a difficult time getting close to people because of my OCD and I have to force myself to not compulsively seek reassurance. I feel like I’ll never find my person. I’m worried I’ll be an awful wife because of my inability to do anything. I want to show up for my partner, but I feel stuck because of my OCD. I think it’s safer to just be alone.

Argaman

Date posted: 17w

OCD making me avoid dating

At this point of my life I barely have compulsions, barely let them control me, but recently I have realised my OCD is still keeping itself alive by holding me back and making me avoid stuff since I cut compulsions. So I don’t do compulsions but I avoid. And when it comes to SO OCD, I avoid dating. I am in the age where it’s the most common thing to do, I have friends who are getting married and I still haven’t seriously dated my entire life. If I date I date to marry. But it’s making it even harder. My brain tells me I can’t date to marry or date at all because no man will accept the possibility that I am bisexual or the fact I might have intrusive thoughts over sexuality. Worse than that, what’s actually holding me back is the fact that in one of our dates I know I’ll have to bring this up. And what if the man will start to get stressed over it? What if it’ll be too much for him and he’ll leave? And worse-tell the people that know both me and him all the personal things I told him about me having SO OCD? I can’t do this.. I don’t want to do this to myself I don’t want to let go of this secret to any man who can just leave me because of it at any point.. that’s what’s holding me back from dating.. and I want to be brave, I want to just go for it, I want to let it go but am too afraid I am just selling myself and my darkest secrets out there for men who can cancel me at any moment. I gave up on dating… it’s all too complicated for me and I have this voice in the back of my head telling me maybe I wasn’t born for it. Maybe I wasn’t born to get married or be in a relationship, maybe I am not good enough for all of this.. and then OCD adds its own stuff.. maybe I am gay and dating would be lying to myself and the men I date.. too much responsibility..

savannahframe19

Date posted: 17w

ugh

i’m so scared to get into a relationship because i think i’m a avoidant attachment… like i have a fear of losing myself and being too attached to where i won’t love myself but love them more than i love myself… like i’m thinking about the guy i like and thinking about the opportunity to be with him but something tells me i’m gonna back away because of my ocd… i wanna love myself before i get into a relationship… especially this generation of relationships get me really anxious.. it’s like i wanna be in a relationship but i also don’t because of losing myself… i wanna have confidence in myself and like the person and have a relationship with God at the same time… i think i’m doing a compulsion which isn’t good because my ocd themes keep switching

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Fear of being alone forever

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