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First time posting. When I had my oldest 11 years ago I ended up with PPD ocd (intrusive thoughts) I was put on Buspirone. Worked very well for about 5 years. Then it was around my cycle that I had them again. Increased 5mgs of Buspirone. Good again until recently because my anxiety got bad. Dr put me on zoloft. Going on made my thoughts extremely bad. To point I tried to baker act myself twice. Dr upped Zoloft saying it would help. Still struggling now. Can anyone relate? Should I switch meds? Do they all do this? Guess I'm looking for guidance and someone who in general can relate. I do start ERP this weekend.

Adam F

Date posted: 2y

It absolutely “increases” the intrusive thoughts, BUT, here’s the thing: “accept” the thoughts instead of trying to forcibly GET RID of them. THAT DOES NOT MEAN the thoughts are somehow NOT FALSE, because they ARE. BUT, the way to deal w/ this is not to try and “get rid” of the thoughts. Rather, it’s to look at the thoughts objectively for what they are: they’re just THOUGHTS. For instance, say I have a thought I’m going to stab a loved one with a knife or something. For the average person who gets that thought: they either go “well, that was weird” and move on, OR they don’t even realize the thought happened, or just go “meh”. NOT SO with OCD. OCD peeps attach VERY significant meaning to those thoughts, and somehow conflate the thoughts as being part of your INTENTION. Then it’s a matter of “I need to convince myself I’d never do that! I love my loved one! Why would I have this thought?!! Why??!!! I must be secretly evil”, i.e. basically telling yourself the “meaning” of the thought, based on pretty shoddy evidence (a thought and a feeling). Look up the various cognitive distortions and errors, and just face that thought head on! The thought IS FALSE, but just trying to get rid of the thought, and also trying to “make things like they were before!!!” are misguided strategies to truly conquer this OCD. You can do it, and keep up the good work! :)

proudmommy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

Are you on medication or do just ERP self learning techniques? I feel like prior to meds I was more level headed and was doing everything you just said. Wasn't easy, but manageable. Now I immediately run and try to stop the thoughts. The medicine makes my anxiety uptick. Big no no and makes it worse that I learned.

Adam F

Date posted: 2y

This is a lot more common than you think; as lonely as it certainly FEELS. OCD-sufferers have a tendency to attach an enormous amount of “meaning” to their thoughts. You could have an objectively horrific thought about hurting someone you love, and then, as OCD tends to make you want to do, you engage in mental and/or other rituals to “neutralize” the thought, or engage in behaviours to find “absolute certainty” that you “wouldn’t really” do “x”, or that you’re “not really” insane, dangerous, bad, etc. The thoughts and feelings feel very immediate, I know. And, I’m willing to bet quite a bit of money, you’ve spend quite a bit of time googling things in an effort to neutralize your anxiety, but, of course, that doesn’t work; and, if anything, you might stumble on SOMETHING ELSE and go “oh no!! That’s what I have!!”. You’re a good person, remember that. Also try and remember this: the act of NOT seeking reassurance and absolute certainty will be essential to your treatment. God bless you!

proudmommy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

I'm absolutely doing all of that. You'd definitely get the money. Your comment actually helped tremendously. I never thought of it that way. I being on new meds live in fear of developing psychosis. So, that upticks my anxiety and ocd starts. I'm still learning as I go, but does anxiety, fear or both trigger the intrusive thoughts? My goal is to do ERP and learn how to cope and not need medicine. I use the app called FEAR and that has taught me a lot as well.

megbrown4

Date posted: 2y

@proudmommy I was put on MANY different medications over the last two years - including 18 different things over the span of 2.5 months at the end of last year. I finally reached the point of the deepest depression and couldn’t get out of my bed to even go to the bathroom without having a panic attack. I was finally put on anafranil and while my ocd is still very much out of control, the anafranil has worked the best for me out of anything. I started ERP just today, so the tough battle begins to overcome this for good!

proudmommy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@megbrown4 Let me know how it goes. I start Saturday. I have a fear of changing meds and it causing psychosis. I have littles, so that's my fear and of course the intrusive thoughts latch on to it.

megbrown4

Date posted: 2y

@proudmommy I totally get it. That’s what happened to me. I was out on viibryd, it made me worse so then I was out on lamictal and it sent me into deep depression. My parents came and got my kids and ended up having them for 2 weeks and then I started a partial hospitalization program which I just finished last week. My are young too, so it’s really hard! Here if you need to chat!

proudmommy

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@megbrown4 I don't know if we have that option here. I've been looking. I would much rather get straightened out with meds in a facility that can help me with side effects and what not verses at home. That's why I'm really hoping ERP can help me navigate ocd and anxiety. Just posting on here has helped tremendously. I've learned so much.

Lena1998

Date posted: 22w

Harm OCD made worse by psychiatrist visit

I went to talk to a psychiatrist based off my Nocd therapists recommendation. I had a very hard week beforehand where I had anxiety so bad I couldn't leave my bed. It seems like once I get my period my anxiety and everything dissipated some so I talked to the psychiatrist. Anyways, I was immediately put off by her because she told me she didn't have any information on me included in the referral for one reason or another. So I had to basically "fill her in" on my life story. I have anxiety disorder, panic disorder, OCD and PTSD. I told her these things and how hard the last week had been. She started asking questions like I had bipolar disorder, which I don't have. She then wanted me to take buspar and Zoloft TOGETHER daily. I know for a fact you never start two medications daily at once. You don't know which one is causing symptoms if you do. So I immediately didn't like that. I asked her about Zoloft specifically daily because it is an SSRI what I should do if it gave me thoughts of harm for myself. She told me "just go to the hospital".... Now, I don't wanna say that was the worst possible thing she could have said to me, but it was. Because now my OCD is spiraling that just my general harm OCD thoughts are enough to mean I need to go to the hospital. It had been 2 days and I cannot stop obsessing that maybe I'm depressed or suicidal because of this. I know I don't want anything to happen to me. I love my family and my friends. I am scared of death. But the thought is sticky and it's been so, so frustrating. My anxiety has been so frustrating. I feel so lost and like nothing I'm trying to fix my issues is working very well. NOCD therapy has been one of the only things to help in the long term, but I still get terrified of certain obsessions like suicide. I don't really know what to do, if anyone has any advice or any personal experience that may help, anything would be nice right now. I've felt so lost trying to figure it all out.

laladracu

Date posted: 18w

Harm ocd

I’ve been through a lot of trauma the past few months and years and had an anxiety breakthrough where I can’t stop having panic and anxiety attacks. I used to be a horror movie addict and one night during an anxiety attack my brain went “Kill your sister” My sister is my whole world. It all went downhill from there. I can’t even be around her when were home alone anymore. Every single day since then my brain is trying to tell me a bunch of different ways to harm her. Its getting to a point where its involving others now. “Kill your sister.” “What if you finally go back to your boyfriends house and kill his family?” “What if you kill mom?” “Kill that lady walking down the aisle at work.” “What if you killed yourself?” “You’re a bad person for thinking all of this.” “You shouldn’t be allowed to sleep, eat or relax. Bad people don’t get to do those things.” “These thoughts are in your head 24/7 because you WANT to do these things!” Its causing me so much anxiety and racing thoughts and I don’t want to become anymore depressed. SSRIs dont work. My doctor wants me to go on antipsychotics but I’m afraid to and I feel like I don’t actually need them and it will cause more damage. My goal is to become the person I was before all of this. Not to change completely. I tried buspirone once and I stopped due to increased health anxiety and often found myself saying “remember when you wanted to kill your sister?” and then brushing it off. It helped in some sort of way. I was only on it for a week. My whole life has changed since then. I dont go to my boyfriends house anymore, I dont see my friends, I can’t play video games anymore. All I do is ruminate and I cant stop. I cant even hold a conversation anymore. The compulsions are horrible. I’m so scared that theres no coming back from this. Its all adding to the anxiety that I don’t want to become severe depression. I just want to be me again. I’m starting off ERP and if it doesn’t work I dont know what to do. Can someone please tell me they have been through similar and have gotten better. I just need to save my life. Its getting to a point where this is convincing me this is all real and its going to happen and that im gonna become a psychopath. Its been going on for 3 months. I used to be so bubbly and happy!! (I am not schizoaffective)

Yoooastro

Date posted: 7w

Zoloft question

Hello last year I had gone thru a very rough time In my life where I needed to be put on Zoloft 50mg around march 2024. I was diagnosed with anxiety, depression and OCD. Ive been suffering from OCD since I was like 11 and depression since I was 19, but I never sought help until last year Im 27 because I knew I needed it to help me get thru life. I was on 3 months on Zoloft and I went to a trip to Miami which honestly helped me so much, I honestly attribute that trip to Miami in healing me more than the Zoloft it self. I met my current girlfriend there. After coming back I felt like a new person. I still kept taking the Zoloft 50mg until late April (2025) this year when I decided to tapper down to 25mg by my self without a doc recommendation, I didn’t feel anything during the month of may this year until like may 30th when I woke up in a panic and I felt like I was back at square 1 before I started Zoloft. Mind you ive been thru some life changes, I recently graduated RN school and my gf moved in with me. Ever since the end of may I’ve been very anxious, my OCD is on high gear and my depression too. I went back up to 50mg I’m seeing a new doc, my questions is has anyone gone thru a similar situation? If so what helped you and how long did it take you to stabilize ?

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