For some rzn when I find my boyfriend attractive I just get repetitive thoughts like not as attractive as “name” it can be the first person I think of or a random name out of my head or someone else I do find attractive. It’s so annoying I do it without even thinking abt it. It makes me feel so guilty. Bc what if I actually think that like what if I do find someone more attractive then him. It makes me feel so crappy. Anyone else
Right here with you. Literally what’s happening right now. My girlfriend is sleeping over & she’s asleep, while I am sitting on my couch because I couldn’t stop ruminating almost automatically. Anytime I tried to push myself to just- stop, and enjoy her (which is insanely difficult) I would have one glimpse of attraction feelings, and then its like my brain short circuits, and starts choking the feelings. Or, I’m simply enjoying her & the thoughts of other people or the specific scenario you just mentioned, start happening. Often, they happen the most when I’m alone. It makes it so debilitating to live, and even acknowledge my relationship the fullest I should be.
@kyledionne722 Wow i totally experience that as well. Is hard to enjoy the present. Sometimes i just feel disconnected. I get thoughts about other people as well, specially when being intimate i have thoughts of people from the past and i get so anxious and worried that im a bad person for these thoughts. And all the what if’s begin, i been convinced that we will break up or something is so sad
@Anonimo05 This is me too I started saying I wish this was so and so and there’s no way of fixing it bc it’s just automatic I don’t even see it coming and that is the last thing I want and it makes me feel like a bad gf because I know it’s not the truth but like why would I be having that thought in the first place you know
@marieleanne Yes!!! Sorry you are going through the same, I know how it feels. And it’s like everything is connected because I have those thoughts and then I also have doubts about the future, if we are not compatible, and sometimes automatically compare him to other people, so it’s like oh im having these thoughts popping up in my head whenever I’m trying to be present and then i have other thoughts that are sort of like “evidence” to my head. It’s really sad to feel like this. I sometimes think i will feel relieved if he breaks up with me, but I don’t want that.
@Anonimo05 Ik I feel like if he breaks up with me it would stop the thoughts but I don’t want us to ever break up
@marieleanne Yup, that’s exactly what’s happening to me. It’s like non stop. I also get anxious for the future, like i get anxious by thinking of us living together, married, having kids it’s almost like what if i really don’t want to have that with him. But i’m always so anxious, i’m sad i’m not able to be present
@kyledionne722 for me, it feels like a block. like deep in my core are those warm, calming, safe feelings of loving her that i can’t reach bc there’s a blockade of anxiety on top of it trying to distort that feeling - and the blockade is only starting to feel more and more real and it’s absolutely terrifying
@ngswifty That was me for two whole years. Almost three. Before I even knew what OCD was. It gets better. Best of luck
@kyledionne722 thank you 🥹
Sameeeeee
I sometimes come back to this particular feeling and thought. So when I first met my partner I wasn’t immediately attracted to him. I don’t think I thought he was ugly by any means. I met him at work along with another new go worker and I thought the other co worker was cuter than my current partner. That alone fills me with guilt but what’s even WORSE was that I told a friend “Oh man I wish that guy was in our group instead of the other.” Something like that. I feel so much freaking guilt over that comment. I adore my partner and this always fills me with shame. I think my partner is the most beautiful man in the world and I kick myself that that was my first thought or worlds about him. I don’t know what to do. I want to confess but how do you even say that to your partner? I just feel so guilty and awful inside….
False attraction has been killing me ive had it for months with the same person. I have a boyfriend so having false attraction makes me feel so guilty. And lately theyve felt so real and ive been so anxious. What if I do like him bla bla. Ive only ever saw him as a brother and we have a good connection and he is one of my good friends but even sometimes when im having a conversation I feel like im cheating. Sometimes I get excited like oh yay he is gonna be here and then I get scared that it’s romantical because I get excited when he is around because he is a funny. Im so scared thats its real attraction because I love my boyfriend I would never do such a thing. And lately my minds done stuff like oh grab his attention stuff like that and it feels like I have done those actions but I dont want to. Sometimes when he is like idk sitting near Im like oh is he looking and my minds like oh do something to empress him bla bla. Recently he was going thought stuff and my boyfriend was there and I was I can give him a hug because I think he needs it but after I thought of it as bad because he is a guy and I had this false attraction what if I did it because I like him bla bla. I am freaking out idk why my mind makes me do compulsions that I have acted on like oh go talk to him and I do its weird urges that I do not want to do. I am scared that it will come true
Judgy thoughts. I constantly have thoughts criticizing my boyfriend. Some of these are based on insecurities like our height difference, him being shorter than me. It just feels like I always have these negative thoughts and feelings and I always feel like I need to tell my boyfriend. I **know** they’re hurtful but I feel like I’m being dishonest or something if I don’t say something. Why do I constantly want to point out his shortness or if he has a smell that may not be too pleasant (completely human, nothing foul). Why can’t I ever keep it to myself. I used to be able to because I think the normal thing is to notice and move on. I don’t understand why I just can’t or why these thoughts are so persistent. Like I’m constant looking for a flaw. It’s so draining and I can’t imagine how exhausting it is for him apart from confusing and hurtful :( I love him
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