Is there anyone who fears they will act on their intrusive thoughts specifically for soocd?? I am afraid one day I will just have an urge to experiment with someone of the same sex when I don't want to or have an interest to. I am just scared that I want when I don't and will act on the thought thereby losing my partner and discovering something about myself
I think the most dangerous thing about OCD is sometimes we hear other triggers and think about them and then convince ourselves since we think about it that maybe we want that too. It’s such a dangerous slope. I find myself in this all of the time. You aren’t alone. I will convince myself I am all these things just because of a thought. Im terrified I will act on thoughts as well. They scare me so much I can’t function some days. The crappy thing is we know OCD is the doubting disease but it tries to outsmart us. I am rooting for you! You got this.
Thank you so much. This was so encouraging and great to hear
@Anonymous You’re so welcome! We’re in this together!
@RSLover21 I am so sorry but I would like to ask you a question if you don't mind.
@Anonymous Sure ask away!
@RSLover21 I just unfortunately went down a rabbit hole in which people were saying that they realized that they were bisexual after going through life and now I am scared that that is me
@Anonymous I don’t think if you really wanted something your distress level would be so high and you wouldn’t worry so much. The most important thing is to focus on the now and the moment you’re in. That is so hard and when someone tells me that I want to scream at times. But it makes you ground and be aware of the situation you are in now. Rabbit holes are the worst. I do them all of the time but it’s always the same “what ifs” and always the same themes. Your partner means a lot to you so your ocd will make up scenarios and what ifs to make you upset and distressed and distracted away from the thing that means so much to you. I’ve had those thoughts too and asked myself the same question. But the thought of being with your partner Im sure is a happy thought the thoughts you’re having aren’t making you happy. It’s a constant theme and a constant pattern OCD follows. You aren’t alone and we just want to overthink and solve everything and there isn’t even anything for us to solve, they’re fleeting thoughts let them pass and your anxiety will go down.
@GODOVEROCD I remember telling my friends about my HOCD and they never understood, so they asked me "do you still think you are gay" and it triggered me... it's been making me think I've been getting groinals to triggering HOCD stuff and making it feel real all day...
@GODOVEROCD Thank you so much for this again I keep on seeing online that sexuality is fluid and should be explored...but I don't want to do any of that but it feels like I want to.
@Givenup Things that usually trigger you are things you usually do not want. I get the same way believe me with other things and it scares me so much.
@Anonymous Sometimes the internet is the worst. Just because these people typing these things don’t have OCD so they don’t know what it can do to us. We need to keep insight what we have and try our best to push through it. Your brain just wants to tell you you want to do something. Thoughts are just thoughts and feelings are just feelings doesn’t mean they mean anything.
@GODOVEROCD It’s making me think I’m breathing to men (I breathe with my mouth when i see attractive women) because I saw a man and woman having intimate stuff and I breathed when I accidentally looked at the dude and my HOCD is making me think im in denial and making it feel so real… 😭😭😭
Yes I’ve had this intrusive thought as well. I have an amazing partner and I imagine things in my head as well and ask myself if this is really what I want? I think we need to remember how much it distresses us, if it distresses us so much why would we want it? Hope this helps and you aren’t alone!!!
Thank you so much for commenting this. I don't want to ever act on the thought but I am scared I will. I have seen people with hocd that did experiment and that triggered me because I had never thought about doing that even with constant doubt.
I have just recently realized that I had SO OCD. This began whenever I was watching porn and had an intrusive thought about the guy in the porn. It was more minor at first, it was a majority of what I was thinking about throughout the day but it didn’t feel as distressing at first. If I had downtime to think about it, it would affect me but if I was just going about my day I wouldn’t notice it. I began going through the compulsions of checking myself. This lasted for a while until another obsession occurred. Then it seemed as if my SO OCD took a step back. I would have flare ups but they would seem to pass. Recently, I had a very bad night of constant compulsions and looking at pictures and imagining things to check myself. After that night it was very distressing, it affected me to the point where people around me began to notice and ask me if I was okay. One of the big reasons I was so upset was my girlfriend, we have been together for over 3 years and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. I was thinking “Oh my god, if I am gay I can never be with her.” I would sit and cry about it thinking I would lose her and that might life would change because I was gay. I finally had enough and talked to her and my parents. We did some research and I was so shocked to find out that I had a form of OCD, it was like a weight being lifted off my shoulders just knowing that other people have been where I am and that I’m not gay. However, I may have naively expected the compulsions and obsessive thoughts to go away now that I knew I had an actual problem. But I found that the compulsions and thoughts were still there and I was going to put some effort into getting better. I have researched and now know what to do when experiencing intrusive thoughts, yet I still have been performing the compulsions which is just feeding into the OCD. I find myself having intrusive thoughts and then start performing compulsions to see if they are true. What really bothers me is when I have an intrusive thought that tells me that I do like something. But when I think about it I have no desire to pursue those thoughts. However when I feed into the compulsions they just seem to feed into each other. It is like my OCD ignores all the things that I know I like and goes straight to panic mode. I am also trying to do ERP and am going to start doing my best to get better. Does anyone have any tips for not performing the compulsions no matter how anxious you are feeling and no matter how real the intrusive thoughts seem to feel?
So pretty much I’ve been dealing with intrusive thoughts my entire life, I had no idea could’ve been symptom of OCD until maybe a year ago , I have this fear right now that I don’t actually love my fiancé and I’m not attracted to men. I am attracted to men. Let me be clear. I’m not attracted to females. I never have been and I never will be. But it’s one of the scariest thoughts I’ve ever had that I don’t actually care about the person that I would sacrifice anything for that I would do anything for. He’s pretty much the closest family that I have and I just wanna be with him for the rest of my life. A couple months ago was that I just didn’t care at all, and I didn’t have any feelings and everything that I felt was me being fake in that nothing was real. But I eventually got over that and the new thought is that I’m actually gay even though I know I’m not. And in the world we live in now where it’s be yourself be you if it comes across your mind. That’s the obvious truth. Be yourself… It’s kind of scary to think about. I just want it to leave me alone. I’m actually so scared that eventually I’ll believe it because some thoughts that I’ve learned were intrusive. I ended up starting to believe and it turned into a whole catastrophe for my life. I met this girl and she felt a certain way about her husband and then she told me that eventually I’ll feel that way and ever since then I just I haven’t gotten over this fear that I’m gonna end up feeling the same way she is. Also, I recently got over a few themes. I’m not ready to share, but I’m so proud that I got over those and I just I’m waiting for this one to leave me alone and it’s not and I’m starting to get really scared that it’s true and I don’t want it to be true. and just to be very clear I don’t care who you love what you love who you like what you identify as because you can in fact be yourself but this just doesn’t feel like me. I’m genuinely reaching out to try to get help for this because now it’s messing with our personal life. We’ve never argued so much in our entire relationship and now I realize that it’s mainly my fault because I’m detaching myself from all emotion just so that I can get over this thought I’m detaching myself from all intimacy and that’s even scarier because what if it’s not me detaching myself and it’s me just not being attracted that’s another thought I’ve hadI’ve gone all long enough so thanks.
Do you perhaps experience things like being so frustrated and numb because of how much your ocd drains you ? Then you are naturally caught up in a compulsion where you’re “physically testing” yourself to lets say something you watched years ago that is usually against your orientation?? If you know what I mean ? Even though you know you are (your own sexuality) and are in a very loving relationship and you really love your partner but does anyone experience this ?? And then they’re faced with more thoughts about how they’ve betrayed their partner and how their partner will leave and if you also struggle with scrupulosity ocd you feel like you’ve committed a huge sin and betrayed your faith ? Again I get all of this goes against values and that the human body may still react to things we naturally may be against but anyone still falls for the testing and then has this awful reaction afterwards? And does that really mean I betrayed my partner ?? Thank you so much for your time and I would really love your insights as this is something that popped up with me out of the blue …
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