Feeling low- cheating ocd

I found some random guy on my sc and my brain is convincing me I slept with him and forgot during the time i was in a bad spot mentally (SO-OCD) spike I love my partner so much i see a future with him and him only :( but i constantly get these thoughts and i have no one to talk to about them I would never cheat- even when i was just speaking to my now boyfriend i wouldn’t even reply to other guys dm-ing me i would say hi in response and then realise i don’t want anyone else and it feels wrong :/ But im so convinced

Annella

Date posted: 2y

I think you are so convinced because it is relating to a fear you have such as cheating or being cheated on. Personally what I would do in this situation is remove the guy on Snapchat so that I would not have to think about him and try to move on. I am hoping that if you really think you slept with him that it was before you got into a relationship. If the thoughts were true then your actions would speak louder. If you actually did what you are so afraid of then you probably would not stay with your boyfriend with that guilt. I know there is a part of you that knows you did not actually do anything wrong. If you look into it deeper and you do remember something you didn't then I would take the next step. Also I would not advise to interact with guys on social media if they are specifically dm you because that looks bad on your part and it also will feed into your OCD that you did something bad. Try not to feed into your thoughts by limiting your environment to help you feel better. I hope what I am saying makes sense!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@fakekimchi The first time i slept with anyone was with my boyfriend and it was ages after dating so it doesnt make sense for me to sleep with a random person - i also dont even know who the guy was on sc i cant even remember the name, i deleted straight away but now its playing on my mind - ofc if i slept with someone i would remember cos it would’ve been my first time. Also i used to reply saying hi before we were even “dating” we were only speaking but interested! Idk i just feel horrible

Annella

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - Girl I think you answered your own problems to be honest. You just told me all the factual info that you actually know and are aware of and it sounds like to me you should remind yourself of whats real and whats not real in your head. I know it is so hard to do when you have OCD, but it takes practice because guess what sooner or later you are going to be over worrying about the next thing and this theme of worry cycle will end. I do not think you did anything wrong and I think you are totally fine and remind yourself just to be happy and grateful that you are with your boyfriend!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

@fakekimchi Its so hard! Im trying to be present but ocd really is doing everything to convince me im a cheater and ive forgotton- i know he deserves the best and im constantly convinced that i cant give him that because im a bad human- thank you though i really appreciate the messages its so nice to talk to someone

Annella

Date posted: 2y

@Anonymous - I know it may feel like the thoughts will never go away, but you have to busy yourself with anything especially stuff you like to do! Thoughts come and go and sometimes they are about the same thing or sometimes it depends on the situation you are in but only you are witnessing those thoughts, you are not hurting anyone but yourself so do not worry. For me personally the only time I am not dealing with OCD is if I smoke or play video games. Something to stimulate your brain. If you see my own posts about my OCD youll see I am going through the same cycle of thoughts. Last night I was at a low and I finally forced myself to journal out all of my negative thoughts and then ended it with things that I am grateful for that day. It truly does help clear all the mind clutter out. Especially reading helps a lot. I know its hard to motivate yourself to do things to make you feel better but as everyone says, it truly does work if you want it to change.

lisapt

Date posted: 2y

Try not win against this ocd. Because it will always win if you fight it. You checking all your facts is just another conpulsion. Get to the point where you say... I may have cheated... I probably did t .. but I may have. And either way. I'm okay. Because ocs... you don't scare me. You will try break all that matters to me that try scare me. So fine... I'm looking at it...and I maybe cheated. And if I did... I may or.may not be a good person. My boyfriend may or may not leave me. You will find peace in that. It is so empowering when we face black stare at our biggest fears.

JazzyRoses

Date posted: 20w

Being Cheated On OCD

Hi everyone! I have been having a rough time. So my boyfriend talks to his ex still as friends and I’ve been struggling with it lately and I can’t tell if it’s OCD or not but it does feel so distressing. She wasn’t texting him for about 2-3 months as she got into a relationship with this guy and they broke up. She had messaged him saying that she has no one else to talk to and needed to vent to someone. At first I felt okay, but my intrusive thoughts took over and it seemed like she was trying to get with him after the fact. It’s probably just my intrusive thoughts talking but he looks on Discord (the app where the message) constantly now and my intrusive thoughts convince me that he’s still in love with her. Then yesterday I saw one of his BeReals (a little photo app that shows a photo of the day) and I saw that he was watching one of her streams as she is a streamer. I struggled to talk about it because it made my worst thought feel like it came true where he is still in love with her. When we talked he gets a lil mad that I don’t tell him right away like straight up what I’m feeling but it’s hard to process because my thoughts flood in of all the worst things and I don’t want to come off as toxic at all and I know relationships are built on trust and I want to trust because this is literally the only thing that makes me nervous about him. It also doesn’t help that I’ve been cheated on before so I’m trying to protect myself but I’m lost. I get so depressed and so anxious because I feel like I have to grieve the relationship and it’s just so dramatic. I’ve never loved anyone like this before and I don’t wanna lose him by bringing this stuff up constantly when something occurs with his ex. I don’t know why I get triggered so easily and I just wanna heal from it and be the good girlfriend I’m supposed to be 😭

.Anonymous

Date posted: 15w

ROCD/False Memory

I suffer with a constant worry of what if I’ve cheated. You name it I’ve thought I’ve done it. I’m quite flirty at nature and also insecure. Sometimes hand in hand I don’t think they balance each other out as the constant need for attention to validate myself can backfire. Although I have the best partner ever and she makes me feel nothing less than beautiful I still crave validation from others. That being said someone I used to work with left over half a year ago and when they worked at my current place of work we were very close. Text everyday, phone calls you name it. However looking back I was extra flirty as I wanted him to fancy me. I wanted the power to turn him down to make myself feel better. Awful I know. Now all I can think about is what if I’ve done something. What if I kissed him. What if I’ve slept with him etc. I’ve kept our whole conversations from the minute I got his personal number. I constantly search key words to see if my intrusive thoughts are real. I can except the uncertainty my therapist tells me about as if I have done the worst and cheated I would loose my partner and our 10 year relationship. I love her so much she is my life but I can’t stop thinking what if I’ve cheated. Does anyone else suffer with the same theme? If so how do you cope?

Anonymous

Date posted: 13w

Relationship OCD- fear of cheating

I have this deep fear I’ll accidentally cheat on my long term partner. This fear was initially triggered a couple years ago after being at a bar with my friends where I enjoyed the attention of being flirted with by a stranger. Because of my enjoyment of receiving verbal attention, I began spiraling about what if I accidentally cheat. Since then I have made multiple confessions to my partner to seek reassurance, replayed events over and over in my head, spent hours googling/looking at reddit threads, and now I dread “bar like” situations where I know my partner won’t be around. Today I was triggered and have wasted about 4-5 hours of my day ruminating. Does anyone else with relationship ocd struggle with this fear and have any tips?

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Feeling low- cheating ocd

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