HELP

LONG POST - PLEASE READ, IF NOT WHOLE POST PLEASE READ JUST SOME PARTS OF IT AND ANSWEAR ME IF YOU CAN, I NEED YOUR HELP😔 Hello, thank you in advance for reading this post and any experience/advice you could give me. I will try to describe my OCD to you somehow - it will be a long post, however, it will show a fraction of how my OCD manifests itself I guess. I want to know if my OCD was diagnosed correctly, if anyone else experiences same/similar symptoms of OCD as I do. I would very much like to connect with someone who has OCD like me. I read about OCD experiences, watched YouTube videos about people's experiences with OCD, how it manifests itself - I went through a lot of experiences of people with OCD disorder, but I didn‘t find a single one that would depict mine, while the experiences of the given people were similar or nearly the same. Some people were afraid of hurting themselves, others were afraid of hurting their loved ones/other people, others had a need to constantly wash their hands or themselves, others needed to touch objects more than once to prevent some bad event, others had religious or sexual OCD... - I don't experience any of this. I was diagnosed with OCD independently by two psychiatrists. I went to the first one without knowing I had a problem, I just got into such a state within my functioning at uni that I couldn't sleep and needed medication - it was during my bachelor’s year. I stopped taking the medication (Sertraline, slowly) after my master’s graduation. After my first experience at work, I looked for a psychiatrist again because I realized that I can’t function normally and what had been "normal" for me until now was extreme - exhausting functioning. I've had OCD since university (I identify with OCD ever since, that's when I experienced first strong stress) and I acknowledged it only now in January after 5 and a half years, after my first experience at work - I found out that I can't function normally at all and that things that I do and considered normal, aren‘t at all. I figured that out the first time I said it aloud and confided in my mom. According to the theory of OCD - yes, OCD works for me exactly according to its principle - obsessions & compulsions. However, I question my OCD diagnosis for the already mentioned reason - I have not come across any experience of a person with OCD symptoms similar to mine. I know that the theory about OCD states that OCD can manifest itself in many different ways and that our experiences do not have to be found in the literature about OCD, but theory is theory and from practice I have read about a lot of people with OCD and their experiences were same or at least similar. My OCD manifests itself in extreme perfectionism, precision, symmetry, I have to have everything under control, constantly reassure myself, repeatedly make sure of everything - in my head and also verbally, aloud whenever I can and nobody hears me. An example of what I do - when I go through my e-mails - 2 e-mails can easily take me 2 hours - I can read and respond to the e-mail in a few seconds. However, if it is, for example, a conversation where there are previously sent messages, I need to read, in addition to the current message, the entire course of the previously sent email conversation within one topic, I go through my answers and the other person's answers with my eyes, while checking that I have seen all the emails, I need to capture all of the information, have an overview of everything. At the same time, if there is, for example, something in the email that gives me an incentive - a link to a website or an application, I need to capture all this information, if it is useful, I save the pages or download the applications recommended. I connect all possible connections, if something comes to my mind during a given e-mail conversation. And I do it with everything - with everything I need to have an overview, that means connecting all the connections in order to have everything under control, and I only have that when I repeat things so many times that I remember them. Another example – wherever I have my stuff, e.g. in my bedroom - everything must have its place and it must be stored and organized according to how I do it. This way of functioning exhausts me because everything takes me an awfully long time as I need to have everything under control, that is as I said already when I repeat it so many times that I know it by heart. I have a big problem with uncertainty/changes/new situations – it causes me enormous stress, so I plan everything and function based on a diary. I start and end the day with my diary. This kind of functioning puts me in a situation where I have no time for anything or anyone, hardly any sleep - and when I function like this and have a lot of stress, I often have periods where I stay awake at night - my head is working, for example planning. According to many sources that I have read, the most effective OCD treatment is a combination of drugs and therapy. I read about cognitive behavioural therapy and its specific subtype - exposure and response prevention. - Is there anyone here who has OCD like this? - According to your own experience - did therapy and medication help you? Thank you again for reading this.