Does anyone ever have moments where they try to take a step back from their themes and don’t even recognize who they are when they are in their fear cycle? For example I’ll have moments where I notice I’m obsessing over something irrational and I’ll notice that and then I’m the very next moment I’ll fall right back in trying to find certainty… Just curious if anyone else relates 😎
I’ve definitely been experiencing this a bit lately. I like to think it means OCD is ramping up it’s game because I’m not engaging in the compulsions it wants me to engage in. But it can feel scary + weird + annoying and make you doubt whether you’re doing things right. Something I try to remind myself is that I don’t need to be perfect in my ERP/responses to OCD, I just need to be consistent! Instead of seeing your obsessing as irrational, try to just accept the presence of the thought/feeling without engaging with it. “I see my brain wants me to think about/debate X, but I don’t have to do that. I can allow that thought to exist without paying attention to it.” Keep on keepin’ on! You got this!
@Amber R Thank you so much!
I don’t know if you are getting counseling for OCD. I am 62 and I’ve had OCD since my 20’s. Never knew what it was till I spiked a few years ago. Since then I have been NOCD. It has been a huge help. Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). Is how to stop OCD’s influence in our lives. For me one of my ERP’s that helped is agreeing with OCD. Saying “Yep. I am not the man of integrity I profess I want to be”. Over time through tears and sweat from anxiety I let my brain know I’m not interested in the messages it is sending me and those thoughts fade off on their own. It takes work but it is better then giving OCD more control in my life. It is choice only I can make no one else can do it for me. I know you can say “No” to OCD. The only difference between you and me is what triggers us. I know you can say “No” to OCD 👍.
Thanks for sharing what you are going through. I’m sorry to hear you are struggling. I’ve definitely experienced the ping pong effect OCD can have. It’s like the carnival game whack a mole; if it’s not one thing it’s another. ERP has been a huge help for me in learning how to manage my OCD. If you are not currently in ERP therapy, please consider reaching out to the NOCD care team for a free 15 minute consultation.
This can be so hard. I think it's amazing that you have the insight and ability to recognize this in yourself. I would say that OCD treatment is so important, this can really help with how to respond or not, at the moment. I wish you the best in your treatment.
Yes! i feel like im always at war between 2 people inside my head (my old self & the one that tells me im a bad person). it almost feels like my personality changed which was the scariest shift when i realized it. Is that what your referring to?
I definitely experienced this! During those moments I have 5 seconds of peace and clarity then OCD decides to waltz back in 💀
tw: dp/dr sensations does anyone with depersonalization / derealization ever be in the middle of doing something literally anything and then an intense “whoosh” feeling of feeling unreal. and then suddenly you’re hyper aware of yourself and you’re surroundings but at the same time feel extremely separate from reality. for me, it feels like a really really intense high without wanting to be high. at its worst, i can’t even recognize my own family members and my childhood bedroom feels foreign. it’s difficult and triggering everytime, i’m trying to cope better with it now but it’s still challenging. can anyone else relate ?
I woke up today terrified cause I didn’t feel connected to my body. I looked in the mirror and thought I was watching someone else and that was scary. Feeling depersonalized fueled my intrusive thoughts. Like “what if I’m going crazy”, “what if I have shifted personalities” or “what if I’m bipolar.” The fear of turning crazy also fueled the intrusive thoughts of me acting mentally crazed or like a child. These intrusive thoughts also tainted me into believing that everything I did was something a mentally crazed person would do. Now I have become more hyper aware of how I feel when I do simple things. This also fueled my OCD subtypes like harm/ suicidal because I think that if I’m not connected to my body then I have no control or might do irrational things. This feeling of not being connected to yourself is really scary and I hate the feeling. How do I get connected with myself again.
Woke up this morning immediately looking for the thoughts that I’ve been having even though i don’t want to think about them. I feel like i ended up bringing them upon myself and then i had a super gruesome thought and have been worrying about it all morning. Is it possible to bring thoughts upon yourself? Is it ocd or is it just me? I’m just so scared of going “crazy” that i keep looking for thoughts deciding if it’s me or not if you know what i mean. It’s such a scary feeling When you feel like you don’t know who you are 😭 i literally am just petrified of completely losing sense of who i am and doing something bad and being locked away forever. Is it possible to just turn bad? Does anybody know what i mean by that? Like you secretly have a double ego and completely turn into somebody different? Does anyone else experience this? Is it ocd? I’m so scared i feel like i can never catch a break.
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