Can I self-apply ERP?

@moonjoy i also suggest after every exposure , reward yourself . an example of a reward is like ur fav candy bar , fav drink , a cute plushie & if you don’t wanna spend money u can do something like “i can watch my fav movie after” .

sorry if this question is uncomfortable, but how do you think this'd look like for a person suffering with pocd?

@etoatzc id say to not do rituals or things you may avoid doing because of your pocd. for example, if you avoid washing your baby brother in the bathtub , then you would expose yourself to washing ur baby brother in the tub . if you have certain rituals like for example “i have to click this pen 30 times and if i dont that means im a p3do” then you would not click the pen at all. you’d sit with that thought and not get any reassurance. i suggest you purposely increase your “closeness” with kids, like for example , if you avoid playing with ur nephews and neices , then next time you see them play with them all day long. maybe offer to babysit . imagining a situation if you WERE actually a p3do and sitting with that terrible and uncomfortable thought. reading articles or videos that can “trigger” you and not seeking any reassurance or not doing any rituals ( for ex: i have to tap my foot 4 times and if i dont then it means im a p3do )

@etoatzc & no , don’t apologize. it didn’t make me uncomfortable at all !

@moonjoy a good website to get some ideas is search up POCD Part 2: Treating Pedophile-Themed OCD & the website should say “Sheppard Pratt”

@moonjoy Hey, ik this is old stuff, but I tried what you said, I looked at the pic of a kid for a few mins and just sat there with the anxiety and terrible thoughts and tried to avoid my usual compulsions, I guess it worked a bit (was able to tolerate the uncertainty till my anxiety calmed down a bit) but it was also extremely distressing.It's like my OCD is trying to make me feel guilt and shit for not engaging with my rituals and not "trying to make sure" that I'm not a p3do, I'm proud of myself but I'm really not sure if this was a good idea. Maybe I overshot it too hard? I dunno. Is it normal to feel really tense and jittery and even a bit s*icidal after doing this? What if I did it all wrong?

@etoatzc I'm trying to slowly reassure myself I'm not a bad person for not trying to disprove the uncertainty, but I'd be lying to say I'm not a bit terrified by my emotions and thoughts ar the moment.

@etoatzc that’s totally normal. im doing exposure therapy & ( trigger warning ) have those thoughts and sometimes really wanna harm myself when i do the exposure. it feels really really bad , but that’s exactly what exposure therapy is . thats so good that you did that . keep going ! exposure therapy has such a high success rate for people who continue with it. you did not do it wrong at all. i literally have breakdowns and panic attacks after every time i do my exposure.

@etoatzc also, i know we tend to go to reassuring, but reassurance is a compulsion. try not to reassure yourself . i understand how hard that is trust me, it feels like the worst feeling. but reward yourself with something. try doing this like 2 times a week or whatever feels best for you, but try not to go over 2 weeks w/o doing an exposure

@etoatzc exposure therapy is going to be brutal. in all honesty, BUT at a certain point you either have to go through that terrible pain and finally overcome ocd or be stuck with the pain from your ocd w/o fixing it yk? that’s what i have to tell myself . it really does mess with you, but that actually shows its working. as your mind feel that panic, that guilt, that anxiety, that depression & even feel those s*icidal thoughts the more and more closer you are to making your ocd realize that you are not going to let those thoughts control you from doing certain things

@moonjoy yeah, i get it. i felt really strong when i overcame it, i'm even proud of myself, but i'm not sure if it really works or not. i'm terribly scared that i may be doing this thing wrong and making it all worse, and to add to my fears, i've never had an actual OCD therapist that can instruct me into doing ERP properly or whatever. were you in ocd therapy? did the ERP also feel like that even with therapy assistance? and are there any techniques that i should be aware of, aside from the usual 'face your fears, sit with them, don't surrender to your compulsions'? and, sorry if this is too personal, but would you say you feel better than before now that youve done some erp and all? tysm for the replies btw, pocd and ocd in general feels so suffocating cuz, deep inside, ik im not a bad person and that ocd is just tricking me, but i still feel the urge to answer the "what ifs?" and check and make SURE i'm a good person even though ik thats a rigged game that i'll never win, but if i wanna get better, its a fucking tough road with the worst emotions and thoughts ive ever had and felt, absolute psychological brutality. the worst is that i havent told anyone in my family i struggle with this due to shame and worry that they wont understand and shrug it off, ive had to hold tears back in front of my mom and pretend i wasnt being tormented by my intrusive thoughts. but your replies and just NOCD and ERP in general make me feel like maybe theres a light at the end of the tunnel, and who knows, in a tragic way, maybe struggling with OCD and recovering has the potential to make me much happier and stronger than the usual person. maybe i can take this OCD and use it as a way for personal character growth, add meaning in my life, you know? maybe im ruminating at this point but really, ty

@etoatzc oh my god i just realized the size of this im so srry

@etoatzc exposure therapy has a 60-90% success rate !! tbh youre gonna have those thoughts of “what if this is just making me more anxious” or “what if this isnt going to work” . if you consistently do something again and again, especially when those “fears” come up, then your mind without doubt is becoming more immune to it . my therapist said that during the exposure therapy that you would feel terrible and anxious and hate doing it, but the reward at the end is not suffering anymore with these terrible ocd thoughts you know? & i have been doing exposure therapy for only 3 days, when i was in therapy my therapist would tell me about it & how to go about it , but i was too scared to start it tbh. but , ive seen some videos on tiktok and people who are doing exposure therapy say the same thing , they hated it & felt so anxious and terrible etc but as they kept doing it , it started to feel better and better . it’s going to be a long and hard journey, but keep rewarding yourself. i get a coffee anytime i do an exposure.

@etoatzc & of course !! no problem. i wish you luck, keep going . itll seem like its not working, but thats kinda like working out you know? you may not see results at all and you may think “ive been working out for a while and i didnt change” but then people realize their change when they do year comparisons , you know?