I’ve fallen apart completely. After dealing with a somewhat narcissistic ex, I found out he’s married with kids and pities another ex that he wasted 3 years of her life until she also found out he was married. When I found out instead of owning up to everything he lashed out at me and said he lost feelings long ago after a drunk incident I had and only took me in for pity because I lost my job and was in a foreign country. During this time it was hot and cold he would lash out and put me down and then also call me the love of his life. Now he talks to me for some closure and he is feeling like crap about the situation. He still tries to blame me and take blame off of himself which is frustrating. He had mastuebation videos of me without my face in it I think. When I got hurt I was badmouthing him to his friends and he told me if I want a war he will start. Now he acts like a hero saying oh I could’ve sent the videos to your parents but I’m not that evil and wouldn’t do that, then he warned me to stay away from his friends. I’m shaking and can’t sleep and the guy who called me the love of his life does this. He told me he did have the biggest love and it got toxic from my drinking overtime but he never had bad intentions. Still my ocd doubts if he’s telling the truth about videos and my self esteem is at zero. I’m alone and looking for work but I’ve been in my room cooped up for days now. No money to do anything and no mental strength to even try and work out.

Take help of police they will get your videos deleted from his phone. You haven't done anything wrong. He was unfaithful to his wife and he used you by hiding the fact that he is married.

Don't worry dear block his number. And try not to stay in any kind of touch with him He is a womanizer. He'll find someone other women. You can trust people every one is not like him.

I told his wife and so did the ex. I think divorce is not in her plan and she just deals with the heartbreak. It’s really sad.

The best thing you could do for yourself right now would be to block him on everything and never speak to him again. I know that sounds difficult if not impossible, but a clean break is exactly what you need. If you can get a therapist, that would also be helpful but I know you’re low on disposable income right now. So try some books. “Codependent no more” by Melody Beattie would be a great start.

He is in Dubai UAE and I’m back in the US so it’s another country. He didn’t make a threat but just him mentioning something like that scares me. He outright said he wouldn’t do anything but I don’t know why he would even mention something he could’ve done. I don’t know why he would tell me he loved me and play games all this time. I got so attached from the hot and cold toxic behavior I started taking disrespect and blaming myself for the toxic relationship. I love him and I’m also angry with him. I found his ex and she said he was chasing and stalking her a lot and when I found her he sent her texts calling me a rebound so he’s not alone after her. He’s calling me to tonight to answer my questions for closure but I’m feeling so upset and angry. I’m so alone now. I can never trust again.

I would tell his wife, tbh.

Oh yeah, heck no. Block him and get that garbage out of your life.