- Username
- Stevan
- Date posted
- 1y ago
A big question for fellow sufferers
I am 21 yr old and I had OCD type of thoughts since I was very young. At 17 I was misdiagnosed from psychiatrists until my late 20 where I finally got diagnosis of OCD. My problem is , that I once had a very severe allergic reaction to antibiotic where I completely ruined my health. After that I went to therapy and I was put on various different meds , including olanzapine and prolixin , zoloft , depakote and lorazepam. I was zombified during the time and after 8 months I stopped taking all of my meds ( under psychiatrists and safely tappering off) . The biggest obsession right now is that those medication ruined my brain . I am very scared because I spent endless time reading horible stories from people that were taking those medications , and I am frightened that those meds permanently damaged my brain and that I cant have normal emotions. Even tho I can feel anger, sadness , I can cry , feel goosebumps and excitement , my brain tends to ruminate 24/7 about whether I am damaged or not because most of the time I feel weird about those emotions… I don’t know what to do anymore , it’s always there , and no matter what I do , I have a big fear that I damaged my brain and it’s only matter of time where I am going to off myself ( which I don’t want to ! )… I made a lot of progress since last year , but I am fearing that I may be back at square one and it’s horrible …