Am I permanently damaged by the psychiatric medications I took?

A big question for fellow sufferers

I am 21 yr old and I had OCD type of thoughts since I was very young. At 17 I was misdiagnosed from psychiatrists until my late 20 where I finally got diagnosis of OCD. My problem is , that I once had a very severe allergic reaction to antibiotic where I completely ruined my health. After that I went to therapy and I was put on various different meds , including olanzapine and prolixin , zoloft , depakote and lorazepam. I was zombified during the time and after 8 months I stopped taking all of my meds ( under psychiatrists and safely tappering off) . The biggest obsession right now is that those medication ruined my brain . I am very scared because I spent endless time reading horible stories from people that were taking those medications , and I am frightened that those meds permanently damaged my brain and that I cant have normal emotions. Even tho I can feel anger, sadness , I can cry , feel goosebumps and excitement , my brain tends to ruminate 24/7 about whether I am damaged or not because most of the time I feel weird about those emotions… I don’t know what to do anymore , it’s always there , and no matter what I do , I have a big fear that I damaged my brain and it’s only matter of time where I am going to off myself ( which I don’t want to ! )… I made a lot of progress since last year , but I am fearing that I may be back at square one and it’s horrible …

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

I am truly sorry that you are going through this. OCD can be so mean and so convincing. Please know that your experience is actually one that I think many people can relate to. Have you done any ERP surrounding this? I think that could really be very helpful. ERP would teach you to sit in the unknown- in the uncertainty, that maybe that is true that there was some form of 'damage' done and we don't know, at least we cannot know with enough certainty to ever appease OCD. So instead you keep living your life and see what happens- see if your brain is irreparably damaged...so far it doesn't seem like it, so you keep moving forward towards your values... Remember thoughts don't equal truth.

Username: StevanStevan

Date posted: 1y ago

@NOCD Therapist - Stacy Q. Hello Ms Stacy , thank you for this comment , would you be willing to have a session w me ?

Username: Stacy QuickStacy Quick

User type: Therapist

Date posted: 1y ago

@Stevan - Hi Stevan! NOCD offers many therapists that you can search for based on insurance accepted and states in which they are licensed, take a look here: https://www.treatmyocd.com/therapists call today for a free 15-minute consultation call. ERP can be life changing and I wish you all the best in your recovery!

Username: moonjoymoonjoy

Date posted: 1y ago

tbh i think it’s you being under a lot of stress. that can make you start to feel very overwhelmed and make you sometimes suffer with depersonalization. you focusing on if the meds messed ur brain up seems to be what’s making you feel weird. also, progression is all over the place. some days you’ll feel great & other days u can feel like ur back to square one. sorry ur going through this ‹𝟹

Username: Erin PErin P

Date posted: 1y ago

I think you would already have the problems you are worried about if they were going to happen. When I’ve had bad medication reactions I’ve pretty much been fine once I got off the meds. That said the thoughts sounds like OCD rumination. I’m glad you’re considering getting the 15 minute assessment/ intro call with NOCD because ERP therapy really helps manage ruminating. If NOCD doesn’t have anyone for you or doesn’t take your insurance there are others who do ERP therapy- but they seem very good so if you can use them - do.

Username: ocdistheworst

Date posted: 5y ago

Most days I feel very trapped and depressed due to my severe ocd and specifically my intrusive thoughts. Did SSRI’s help anyone with intrusive thoughts? My brain tells me I did terrible things in the past, and it can be very exhausting and debilitating. I don’t want to live my whole life like this.

Username: seekingvee

Date posted: 5y ago

How can I accept that I may need medication for the rest of my life? Some background: I have several family members with OCD, my paternal grandmother and one of my cousins on my dad's side. I had anxiety issues from really early on as a kid, particularly around health related stuff. I would clean little cuts frequently, small things like that. Other than that, I never felt majorly affected. That changed when I was 19, a few months after I gave birth to my son. I started having obsessions rooted in hypochondria, like that I might have some disease, or that myself and/or those I love would get some horrible illness and die. I was diagnosed and started taking Prozac at 21 years old. I'm now 27. Medication works incredibly well for me. I have no side effects, I function totally normal when medicated. But I've gone off medication like 5 or 6 times just to see if I'm finally okay, and without fail, I relapse (which is happening to me right now, and yes, I've restarted my meds.) My OCD thoughts don't want to accept this though, and I'm being thrown all kinds of thoughts like what if someday the world falls apart and I don't have access to medicine? Or what if I take it for years and years, just to someday find out that it gave me brain cancer or insertdiseasehere? Does anyone have any tips for accepting medication as a necessary part of my life?

Username: OC/DC

Date posted: 4y ago

Hi there! I’m seriously considering starting OCD medication treatment. I am particularly reluctant to psychiatric medication cause a very bad experience I personally had before (I think that a bad administration of medication is one of the main reasons of my OCD). My questions about are: does the medication affects your sexual life? Does medication changes who you are? Is anybody out there that has been involved in an OCD medication treatment and has fully recovered? What are the side effects? Thank you!!

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Am I permanently damaged by the psychiatric medications I took?

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