This is probably very TMI but last night i watched porn (im going to stop because it messes with my head) and after i had a feeling of wanting to cheat and now i have the worst guilt of my life and i wanted to cry to her about it. We also are long distance
I'm going through somewhat the same thing we are also long distance for a year ans 3 months
Its horrible
@Drew0103 I know
Relationship OCD is so complex - I worry I want to cheat all the time, it’s just about showing up everyday in that relationship and not allowing thoughts like that to make you check out, they’re normal thoughts from every human! But we with OCD freak out and try to control that thought and make sure we never do it - Let the thought pass, try not to latch on
But why did i want to cheat if im in love with my gf
@Drew0103 It’s just a feeling, we all have urges or thoughts - They’re not always truly how we feel especially since you say you’re in love with her….. OCD tells us our extreme fears are our wants, tries to scare us into never committing those acts but it turn makes us obsess over those things
@MossMate Yeah that makes sense i just have horrible guilt right now
@Drew0103 Yup, I understand, just have to become more desensitized to your emotions brought on my OCD thoughts and realize when you’re spiraling with them - Our emotions all the time do not correspond with our brain and hearts - Learning what is coming from OCD and not our true selves is hard and something we will always struggle with
@MossMate I feel so unworthy of her but im trying to be strong
@Drew0103 I feel you but he always says I deserve better and I tell him no that's him
I know how you feel. I’ve felt the same way after looking at porn. Those of us with ocd put too much emphasis on our mental behavior and spin it up into this terrible thing- when the fact is the urge to watch porn is very normal. If it wasnt porn sites wouldnt be the most popular sites on the internet! I’ve also had the unfortunate experience of actually acting on one of my obsessions/urges to cheat and have cheated on my wife. It was utterly terrible and my ocd spiraled out of control. But thanks to the help of erp (and some medication) I have been getting a handle on it and I am improving. It is important to remember we are human, we have human urges, and we are typically our own most critical judges. Dig yourself out of the self-critical spiral. You’re normal, but you also have ocd.
Thank u for sharing it means alot, i feel so unworthy to be with her now, maybe its guilt
Also how do you do exposure therapy with something like that?
I need help so I did this thing like a while ago multiple times I would Zoom in on pictures of guys in they're track suit at they're private place the thing is I have a bf and I felt bad and I'm like I'm in the wrong now I was watching a video it was like calling sex operators and I thought maybe I should do that now I've been thinking about what I thought for the past hour and what made it worse is that I remembered I zoomed in on a guy private part before that wasn't my bf I feel so quilts and dirty bro I feel like I'm cheating ikd if this is ocd or not but I'm scared to tell my bf I don't want to tell him hut at the same time I feel like it's wrong of me to keep such a thing I'm scared he will probably break up with me for this we been together for a year and 3 months I wanna cry bro I feel so guilty someone help have you been through this idk what to do I'm scared I don't want to yell him but I feel guilty for not aomeone help
@11/27/21 I have been afraid of this before, we are humans, we look - In my own relationship I very obviously tell my bf when I find someone attractive, I’ll check a man out in private as well - But it doesn’t mean I want them or find my bf any less attractive….. It’s curiosity, as long as you don’t have any actual intent and action in cheating then it’s okay and doesn’t need to be shared
help please. Was watching porn and masturbating. Looked up a specific physical attribute that reminded me of my ex, curly hair and watched one. I masturbated to it then all of a sudden thoughts started to attack me like what if this was actually her. Then out of nowhere i thought what if this was her and her brother. Then now its just bothering me to confess to her. We talk sometimes and i really dont want to cause whats the point we r over and thats just fucked up But i feel more bad bc even having that thought and it made me :/ i still continued to masturbate bc i didnt feel satisfied enougj, i mean obviously not to the thought of her and her brother cause thats weird but i was masturbating while that thought was in my head and it feels wrong and makes me feel guilt or icky.
I had a really good day yesterday because I was able to manage my thoughts and identify them as intrusive. I had little to no anxiety and actually felt pretty stable throughout the day. Then, I went to sleep last night and had a triggering dream that I cheated on my girlfriend. I would never do that :( I hate these thoughts. If the thoughts involve my girlfriend, I feel like I have to tell her…..any advice on this? I ended up telling her and she said that I’m telling her to feel less guilty in the moment but at the expense of her feelings. This made me feel terrible 😞. The last thing I want to do is hurt her but I just feel like such a bad person having these thoughts. Please help if you have any advice 😕
I was doing fine for over a month.. I was managing my ocd really well till yesterday. I was at my friends house for her birthday and she invited me, 3 other girls and 2 other guys and her bf but one of the guys look attractive he looked good but I wish that’s where it would end. But instead my heads like cheat or it felt like I wanted to cheat when I know I would never and I hate the fact that I even got that thought like why can’t I just find another guy attractive without my brain telling me to cheat. It felt like I wanted to cheat and I got so scared because why would I do that or get that :/ I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend I love my boyfriend. I’m scared that I actually wanted to cheat and I wanna confess to my bf so bad :/ but no like I know I didn’t want to but it feels like I did :/
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