Nicolexp
- Date posted
- 2y
???š
Having ocd are you also afraid to have sex with your partner? I have a terrible problem with this and don't know what to do. Before, it did not cause me any difficulty.
huma (home-ah)huma (home-ah)
- Date posted
- 2y
I was afraid for a while to have sex with my partner, because I knew it would summon unwanted images and thoughts in my head. I donāt know exactly what your situation is, but this is how I dealt with it: While making room for consent and differentiating when I genuinely didnāt want to have sex and when it was the avoidance compulsion, I just went for it, despite the fear (This is before I realized I might have ROCD). When the thoughts and images came, I let them be there; I looked at them for a second and said to them, āOkay. Fine,ā and then brought my focus to something like his arm tattoo, or the feeling of the bed sheets, or I would kiss him to return to the moment and choose closeness instead of avoidance. Sometimes it happened multiple times a session and I just had to repeat it again. He has no ideaāI never said anything to him about it. I just kept on with this method and was afraid it would never go away, butā¦ I donāt really struggle with it anymore. It started in November/December of last year, and for a couple months now it hasnāt shown up again. Keep going with itāit will feel monotonous and repetitive and frustrating but just keep doing it, keep going. The fears and thoughts are normal, but theyāre not bigger than you. They canāt control you. Youāll get to where they wonāt bother you so much anymore.
huma (home-ah)huma (home-ah)
- Date posted
- 2y
@huma (home-ah) Omg this was far longer than I wanted it to be, sorry. TLDR: I let the fear be there, and returned to the present momentāover and over until eventually it didnāt bother me anymore. (***ALSO: If youāre afraid to have sex with your partner because youāre afraid of *them,* or theyāre hurting you, or youāre not consenting, thatās something different! Abuse is never okay!)
halem77halem77
- Date posted
- 2y
@huma (home-ah) Iām struggling with this and itās hard because when Iām so anxious, tmi, I tighten up or lose lubrication and then it becomes uncomfortable. Itās like I canāt calm myself down and then on top of being prone to vaginal infections š Iāve become so afraid and avoidant
huma (home-ah)huma (home-ah)
- Date posted
- 2y
@halem77 Thatās so frustrating! Iām so sorry. Thatās okay though and a super normal reaction. Have you gotten to talk to a therapist about it? Do you have any tools to work on this with?
halem77halem77
- Date posted
- 2y
@huma (home-ah) Iām just starting therapy in a week! What tools helped you besides being present?
huma (home-ah)huma (home-ah)
- Date posted
- 2y
@halem77 I just started, myself! My intake was Monday but Iām hoping this appointment I can learn a tool or two to help me through my moments too. Before OCD therapy, my regular therapist recommended DBT (dialectical behavior therapy). Iām still not completely solid on the process, but she advised me to examine my thoughts, fears unbiasedly, and then examine the urge I have (to run, to fight, to hurl irrational questions at my partner), and make myself do the literal opposite. What follows is a merging acceptance of factual truth and fearful irrational thoughts, butā¦ Iām still not solid on how that fits in with OCD, lol. Iām hoping with my OCD therapist, Bill, we can find out new ways to work with this. Should we share our findings with each other after our appointments? š¤
22jay1222jay12
- Date posted
- 2y
Iāve had experiences like this recently. I would get with girls and want to have sex and once Iām on em, I start getting unwanted images of guys and then I start panicking and I donāt get erected
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- Date posted
- 23w
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- Date posted
- 22w
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Argaman
- Date posted
- 22w
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