does anyone else ruminate over their wrongs/mistakes within a relationship? like i stress over everything negative i could’ve done or said and i begin to feel so much guilt and like i’m the worst girlfriend ever. I know perfect is impossible but i get terrified my boyfriend leaving me if i am not
I identify with this too. Lately I’ve been trying to tell myself “if I ruminate about X , will this help me become closer to the kind of person I want to be?” Over the past couple of days, it helps me delay the rumination and yes I have to sit with discomfort. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it’s not easy. I hope we all get better
@Anonymous thank you for the advice, that was very helpful :) i’m sorry you’re going through this as well
Yes, definitely. I have called my boyfriend randomly and apologized for a small event months prior lol. The rumination cycle, whether one has ocd or not, only keeps you in the past, which nobody has any use for. Learn from mistakes, and try to keep in mind how you don’t like to act vs. how you do going forward
@Virgo! i’ve held back from confessing to him but it’s hard not to! he means so much to me that every small event seems like something to agonize over. great advice though, i appreciate it
I also wonder if ruminating about mistakes in our relationships also have to do with our attachment style. I know I’ve had deep fears of losing my marriage and my relationship but I’m learning to get comfortable with the uncertainty of my relationship not lasting and that has made it a little easier to face exposures
@Anonymous that definitely could be. i have some deep trauma from past relationships that i think causes me to be this way and extra vigilant but it’s the worse because i overthink everythinggg even if it’s completely normal in relationships
@Anonymous876 I totally get that and it’s so hard. You can do this and work through it ❤️