Is this normal? Sometimes when I spend long times ruminating, checking and creating scenarios I sometimes get a huge amount of anxiety which makes it feel like it's real. Is this normal? I feel like the anxiety is the whole reason why it feels so real
I can relate
What exactly feels real?
False arousal, anxiety the uncertainty and not being able to stay certain is what makes mine feel so real. I've had so many different themes but this theme always comes back either because I appreciate someone's voice "actor, singer etc" or find someone handsome (aesthetic attraction) but my whole life I've always only wanted to have sex with females, had girlfriends etc but having this is making me feel so confused. I just want the anxiety to stop and to feel certain again.
@NeverGiveUp False arousal used to get me bad, good looking sometimes would get me bad, intrusive thoughts like "i like him" has been getting me nowadays.
@Mr.ocd And the worry and doubt and if i like em as a person just feeds into that intrusive thought.
@Mr.ocd I think the attention this theme brings on the same sex is what's causing us to evaluate every little detail. Before I wouldn't question anything because I was and still am certain I'm straight even with these doubts. I just hope this all stops I'm trying my hardest to disregard, move along with life and don't spend time doing compulsions but it's extremely hard when I'm bored all the time with anxiety. The fact that this disorder is not just thoughts but can be feelings too is what's confusing me the most the thoughts don't cause as much anxiety it's more or less the feelings it can bring along like groinals that always cause me to relapse.
@NeverGiveUp I don't want to reassure you but something to keep in mind is that anything sexualized usually gets gronial reaction out of us because it's associated with sex. Also that anxiety usually causes a little jump out tension of that muscle.
@Mr.ocd Yeah I know that already but even with that in mind the anxiety always seems to make things feel real.
@NeverGiveUp You not alone it also still seemed real to me even knowing that at some point
I can totally relate- the feeling of doom is the absolute worst. The most intense feelings and emotions I had were around feelings of doom. Very uncomfortable would be an understatement. Mine usually centered around now knowing something with 100% certainty. I’ve suffered in the past with real events OCD and the emotion associated with it was doom. It will pass.
I’m not an expert and I won’t claim to understand all ocd subtypes but having dealt with a few of them along with the usual suspects like anxiety, depression, addiction, for me its always come down to a feeling in some way or an other. Weather it’s reaching for an other drink or spending a whole day on compulsions, what I’m doing is trying to avoid sitting with some feeling. Whats interesting is that for me there’s a feeling that comes even before doom and honestly it’s much less unpleasant than doom but yet I still try to avoid it. It’s whatever I’m doing trying to avoid this feeling (and inevitably failing over and over) that starts to trigger more intense feelings like doom. And obviously once doom comes online, the belief that there is actually something to be afraid of begins to be reinforced. The cleverness of ocd is that it uses this doom as evidence that i was right to be avoiding the thing I was avoiding in the first place. The truth however is that it was the process of avoiding (the ocd) that got me there, but the ocd doesn’t want me to know that because then it would loose it’s power over me. Sorry for the run on but to summarize: avoidance is where the cycle starts and it’s also the fuel that keeps ocd going. If this resonates with you also keep in mind that (trigger warning) this is not something that can change in a day. You’re in the process of reconditioning years of what your brain thought was “real”. It’s not real, but it is scary. Just take it one day at a time.
Yes omg! I get that feeling of doom that my intrusive thought is real and my life will never be the same. It’s AWFUL and usually precedes a panic attack
I haven't been officially diagnosed with OCD but when I learned more about it, I never related to anything more. A little back story: when I was younger, there were a couple of youth suicides in my area and the schools felt the need to have someone come in and talk about suicide. Well the person they had come in did a horrible job teaching it and basically made it seem like the smallest negative emotion or feeling or change in behavior made you suicidal. This ended up scaring me so much that I got horrid anxiety. Fast forward to now, Everytime I feel anxiety and panic, I fear I'm going to kill myself. Everytime I feel down and depressed, I fear I'll end it all. I'm scared to be around anything sharp because the "What if" I hurt myself comes into my mind. There are always intrusive thoughts at almost every point of the day. And it's not only for me. Everytime I hear someone being negative, I fear they will be suicidal. I know in my heart that none of this is true but it's terrifying me that it's stuck around so much that it makes me scared that maybe it is true. I've had a lot of death in my family in the past year and a half and a lot of other family drama that I'd never had before that is now also bringing up existential intrusive thoughts. And I'd never questioned anything about life before but now I get the "why is life like this?" and "does anything we do matter?" and I hate it. I don't want to think like that. I just want to go through life being able to handle things normally again. It terrifies me even right now going "what if you give up?"
I always wake up full of dread and fear. My anxiety is through the roof two seconds after I open my eyes. Someone on this app gave me a similar insight once I believe. But I think anxiety is just the urge to ruminate. About what? It probably doesn’t matter, as long as I can torture myself, as OCD loves. Does anyone else relate to this or agree maybe?
Does anyone else’s false memory intrusive thoughts of what could have happened feel very, very real?
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