Is this normal? Sometimes when I spend long times ruminating, checking and creating scenarios I sometimes get a huge amount of anxiety which makes it feel like it's real. Is this normal? I feel like the anxiety is the whole reason why it feels so real
I can relate
What exactly feels real?
False arousal, anxiety the uncertainty and not being able to stay certain is what makes mine feel so real. I've had so many different themes but this theme always comes back either because I appreciate someone's voice "actor, singer etc" or find someone handsome (aesthetic attraction) but my whole life I've always only wanted to have sex with females, had girlfriends etc but having this is making me feel so confused. I just want the anxiety to stop and to feel certain again.
@NeverGiveUp False arousal used to get me bad, good looking sometimes would get me bad, intrusive thoughts like "i like him" has been getting me nowadays.
@Mr.ocd And the worry and doubt and if i like em as a person just feeds into that intrusive thought.
@Mr.ocd I think the attention this theme brings on the same sex is what's causing us to evaluate every little detail. Before I wouldn't question anything because I was and still am certain I'm straight even with these doubts. I just hope this all stops I'm trying my hardest to disregard, move along with life and don't spend time doing compulsions but it's extremely hard when I'm bored all the time with anxiety. The fact that this disorder is not just thoughts but can be feelings too is what's confusing me the most the thoughts don't cause as much anxiety it's more or less the feelings it can bring along like groinals that always cause me to relapse.
@NeverGiveUp I don't want to reassure you but something to keep in mind is that anything sexualized usually gets gronial reaction out of us because it's associated with sex. Also that anxiety usually causes a little jump out tension of that muscle.
@Mr.ocd Yeah I know that already but even with that in mind the anxiety always seems to make things feel real.
@NeverGiveUp You not alone it also still seemed real to me even knowing that at some point
I can totally relate- the feeling of doom is the absolute worst. The most intense feelings and emotions I had were around feelings of doom. Very uncomfortable would be an understatement. Mine usually centered around now knowing something with 100% certainty. I’ve suffered in the past with real events OCD and the emotion associated with it was doom. It will pass.
I’m not an expert and I won’t claim to understand all ocd subtypes but having dealt with a few of them along with the usual suspects like anxiety, depression, addiction, for me its always come down to a feeling in some way or an other. Weather it’s reaching for an other drink or spending a whole day on compulsions, what I’m doing is trying to avoid sitting with some feeling. Whats interesting is that for me there’s a feeling that comes even before doom and honestly it’s much less unpleasant than doom but yet I still try to avoid it. It’s whatever I’m doing trying to avoid this feeling (and inevitably failing over and over) that starts to trigger more intense feelings like doom. And obviously once doom comes online, the belief that there is actually something to be afraid of begins to be reinforced. The cleverness of ocd is that it uses this doom as evidence that i was right to be avoiding the thing I was avoiding in the first place. The truth however is that it was the process of avoiding (the ocd) that got me there, but the ocd doesn’t want me to know that because then it would loose it’s power over me. Sorry for the run on but to summarize: avoidance is where the cycle starts and it’s also the fuel that keeps ocd going. If this resonates with you also keep in mind that (trigger warning) this is not something that can change in a day. You’re in the process of reconditioning years of what your brain thought was “real”. It’s not real, but it is scary. Just take it one day at a time.