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Hi! It sounds like there is a lot of ruminating going on today. I know how you feel- I’ve struggled with excessive ruminating about my sexuality for about a year and a half after having no doubts about it for the first 22 years of my life. It is okay to not find the stereotypical “hunk” attractive. I am often not attracted to women that are on magazine covers. It never bothered me until my OCD popped up. While this is normal and everyone has different tastes, we also have to acknowledge the fact that there’s no way to know for sure what this means. It may mean that you’re straight and don’t find that type of man attractive, and it could also mean that you aren’t 100% straight. We may never know for sure, and that’s okay. We can live a wonderful life without 100% certainty. It sounds like you love your boyfriend. Those are your values. Continue to lean into the uncertainty while at the same time continuing to give time to what you value; allowing the thoughts to be there without fighting with them is NOT the same thing as accepting the content of the thoughts- it is merely accepting their presence without trying to cancel them out. The more times we react anxiously to thoughts and try to cancel them out the more our brain associates those thoughts with danger, and the vicious cycle continues. When accepting the presence of the thoughts and the uncertainty while not responding with compulsions your anxiety and doubt will get slightly worse before it gets better. But keep going. Don’t give up. Do it for your future self. The less energy we put into the content of the thoughts the freer we become. I would love for someone to tell me “you are 100% straight and you have nothing to worry about,” but 1.) that will never happen and 2.) OCD would find another “what if” that would make me doubt again. Let go of the rope that you’ve been pulling on because OCD is on the other side and will always win. Just allow the thoughts to be there and over time you will feel less burdened by the intrusive thoughts, as you are able to learn that you can let them float around without assigning meaning to them. Hope this helps.

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Same here! I think I have to get to know a man to be attracted to him. And I don’t think we have to label our sexualities and what we are attracted to and not, just remember that you want to be with your boyfriend and that you value him :)

you dont have to be attracted to shirtless men, or men that others would usually find attractive, and thats okay

I’m right there with you, but for the reverse. A lot of my friends would regularly be checking out some “hot chick” and I’d be like “oh, yeah…” but I am attracted to some women for sure, and have had multiple relationships, I just doubt myself because my attractions don’t appear stereotypical. Right there with you Hannah.