Explore more posts

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Lightbulb with text that reads "Auto-generated title"

How can I have a normal day despite overwhelming anxiety and troubling thoughts?

Please reply, I want to have a normal day today

I woke up today feeling a bit more positive the last few days have been really rough, been crying, having outbursts of shouting and today I just feel exhausted and don’t want to think about it but at the same time I was ruminating on it so much and worrying a lot and it feels really difficult to just suddenly forget about it, I’ve been worrying because it feels like when I imagine the thought it feels like ‘I like the feeling’ of imagining doing that, the thoughts are about smothering. It’s been feeling like the end of the world and I’ve been worrying because it feels like I actually want to act on the thoughts and it’s horrible, feel like I don’t trust myself. Today I feel exhausted and just want to feel normal again but feel like I can’t just go back to forgetting about it and feeling normal since the last few days have felt so rough and real like it couldn’t have all been for nothing, all that worrying? Surely it must mean something? And it feels like I could easily just start worrying again, I’ve got a bit of anxiety and feel uneasy already, but I don’t want another day of misery. But it feels like these thoughts definitely mean something and it feels like if I choose not to think about it because I’m still kind of believing it that I’m just trying to pretend I’m not evil by forgetting about it or postponing being evil 😞😞

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Hi, being scared of feeling scared or being scared of the thought is what is keeping you stuck on this. When you worry or are scared of a thought you are training your brain that this thought is important and then the brain thinks it needs to keep sending it to you. You have to show your brain that this thought is meaningless and try to move on with your day. Try to wake up and tell yourself, “maybe I’ll have a good day, maybe I won’t. I accept the uncertainty”. By worrying you are doing the compulsion of rumination. No amount of worrying or ruminating will ever please OCD. It will always want more. It’s like a monster. Every time you worry and ruminate you are feeding it. But by accepting the uncertainty and sitting with the thoughts, you start to starve it. Eventually the monster will go away after not being fed. It’s very common to worry if thoughts are true. What if you think “a blue unicorn will appear right in front of me now”, did it actually happen? Thoughts do not equal facts. Thoughts are random and you cannot control them. I worried about liking the thoughts when I went through harm OCD. Once you start accepting the uncertainty the monster that is OCD will weaken! Are you in therapy?

Username: lu22lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

@Greg2 But I don’t even know what I feel anymore, even when I get anxiety over a thought or cry I don’t believe that that means I’m not bad I still keep thinking I’m evil and I feel down, but still don’t believe myself and I’m believing that I actually like the feeling of doing that and would want to and feel worried 😞

Username: lu22lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

@Greg2 Also sometimes there are moments where I’m deliberately imagining the thoughts to test myself and it feels like it actually could happen and when accompanied by me feeling like ‘I like the feeling of doing that’ when imagining it, it makes it feel even worse like it could actually happen and I would WANT to do it. I’m scared about moments like those but it feels extremely real and I don’t trust myself 😞😞

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 1y ago

@lu22 After some time in therapy you will see that the thoughts are thoughts not the same as reality.

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@lu22 I know what you are going through, I dealt with that. But testing yourself is a form of. compulsion that is keeping you stuck. Testing wont help because OCD will morph and say “but what about this?”. You can never be 100% sure and we have to accept uncertainty. Maybe you like the thoughts, maybe you don’t. Maybe you will act on the thoughts, maybe you won’t. Like I’m not 100% certain I’ll get hit by an asteroid right now. OCD feels real, I know what you mean. Let me get back to you with some links later that will help you!

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Greg2 https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-harm-ocd-guide-to-ocd-subtype https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/checking-ocd-symptoms-and-treatment https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/what-is-exposure-and-response-prevention-therapy https://www.treatmyocd.com/what-is-ocd/common-fears/fear-of-being-a-bad-person-ocd

Username: Maddie811Maddie811

Date posted: 1y ago

I OFTEN worry if I am just postponing a realization that I’m evil too, I think since were both on here, odds are it’s ocd? Let’s choose to have faith we will heal today, just try to make it one more day, you never know what healing might take place, just stay alive ❤️(I know how ridiculous this sounds as I’m in the same exact place you are)

Username: GregJGregJ

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@Maddie811 I went through this. It’s so hard. I truly was scared I thought I liked the thoughts or wanted to do the thoughts. When I start to accept uncertainty that maybe they were true, I was finally able to see more clearly after awhile. Starting out is tough but I know you two got this!

Username: lu22lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

@Maddie811 I feel so confused, I don’t even know which thoughts are true anymore even when I get anxiety over a thought I still think I’m evil or that maybe I’m somehow faking the anxiety or bringing on the tense feeling I get or that despite feeling anxious I will still want to be evil 😞

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 1y ago

Maybe you can count your "I feel" in your post. Feelings and thoughts come and go, we can't rely on them. We have to learn to live acvording to our values and let the feelings be there without letting them decide how we live our lives. To me the best thing besides ERP is to make daily plans and follow them through, not ruminate and dwell on the discomfort I sense. The less I focus on the feelings the better I feel. Are you in therapy?

Username: lu22lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

@Estrid Thank you for your reply, it’s really difficult not to focus on the feelings, yes I recently started therapy

Username: EstridEstrid

Date posted: 1y ago

@lu22 Yes, I know, but I will give you hope, with practice you can develope your ability💜

Username: lu22lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

To be honest I think it was my period that made me suddenly start worrying about this again, I was feeling so much better and not worrying and focusing on other things and all of a sudden out of no where I had an intrusive thought and it became a huge problem and felt really real

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Please please need advice 😞

Today I woke up and told myself I wasn’t going to engage with the intrusive thoughts, I went downstairs and I was trying to avoid having intrusive thoughts about suffocating my cat with the pillow, but I kept feeling tempted to have the thoughts and thinking ‘maybe you do like the idea’ and I started worrying and thinking what if Through the thoughts I know how it feels to do that (because when your having the thoughts/ruminating it feels very real, almost like it’s already happened or I’ve lived through that) and now I’m desperate to do that or what if I’m secretly curious about how it feels to do that that’s why I can’t ignore the thoughts and keep feeling tempted to think about them. Or I was thinking what if through the thoughts I like the feeling of doing that but I have a conscious so now I have evil desires but I’m a good person so I don’t want to do it. I feel awful I don’t know what to do, I feel like I’m believing this notion more and more everyday, I hate this and don’t know what to do

Username: Jtsuz145

Date posted: 1y ago

I don’t know anymore. Pls help.

Yesterday morning was such a great day I wasn’t having as many intrusive thoughts and for once I felt normal I legit almost wanted to cry and thanked god because for once it all fault clear and as the day progressed I was feeling awful and uncertain. Now I’m stressed that I don’t feel anything because of my intrusive thoughts but my body is still reacting (groinal response) I’m stressed out that I’ve probably convinced myself I’m an actual p***. I’m 100% convinced I’ll do something bad if left alone with a kid and I’m stressing out. How do I know I’m not a p*** in denial??? I know I don’t want to do these things but it feels like I do. Why don’t I feel anything anymore? Has the anxiety become so overwhelming that my emotions have completely shut down? I feel like a person who has no emotions which isn’t like me. This doesn’t feel real.

POCD

Username: lu22

Date posted: 1y ago

Miserable because it felt so real

So the other day I was left home alone for a few days with my mum which hasn’t happened before but my sister went away for a few days and it was the worst I suddenly started having these horrible thoughts and it felt like for some reason I wanted to think of them and it was really horrible and it felt like I was actually about to act on it and my ocd gives me weird feelings/sensations that make me feel like I would like the feeling of doing that horrible thing or it would ‘feel good’ to do that horrible thing and I’ve been obsessed with it ever since now I’ve been miserable for days because now I’m thinking it almost happened and I keep thinking now the only reason it’s not happened is because I’m not alone with someone and I got this scary thing that felt like I wasn’t anxious over the tnohjts and would ‘do it anyways for no reason’ and it’s really scary and feels like I didn’t want or not want to do it and that it could happen. I’m unable to be happy now because it keeps coming back to my mind and even yesterday my head gave me that same feeling of ‘imagine you done it anyways right now’ and that accompanied with that feeling that feels like ‘I like the feeling of doing that horrible thing and I know how it feels to do that’ makes it worse and feel like I’m just ‘choosing’ not to do it 😞 now I’m literally believing that I’m capable and would do that and it’s horrible i don’t know what to do

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Share your thoughts so the Community can respond

How can I have a normal day despite overwhelming anxiety and troubling thoughts?

Related posts

Be a part of the largest OCD Community

Be a part of the largest OCD Community