How can I effectively manage intrusive same-sex thoughts and hocd?

I’m new to this app and just wanted to share my story. As a young girl I definitely had compulsions. My mom always told me she would take me to a psychiatrist (I would cry when people sat on my bed). Anyways, as I got older I definitely grew out of a lot of things. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD but I have GAD. I know I definitely have OCD because I have done a lot of research. Recently I have really, really been struggling with HOCD. I’ve never experienced this before, and that’s why it’s making it more scary. I’m a young adult woman and have been in a very serious relationship with a male for many years. I love him so much. I am also very athletic and not very girly. I always loved the fact that I was a guys gal, but lately it has made me super insecure. A lot of people at school assume I’m bisexual because I’m super pro LGBTQ rights and idk? Idk why I give off that “vibe”. It never bothered me, I always thought it was funny, and I have no issue with being gay, but I’m definitely not?! During this quarantine my guy friends have said I have way way more guy friends than girl friends, someone asked my teammate if I was bisexual, and I have never had an orgasm from my boyfriend. It started really getting in my head and I keep being like “am I gay and that’s why I don’t orgasm”. This seems so pathetic and writing this actually helps and makes me realize there is no way I like women. But anyways THE THOUGHTS DO NOT STOP. I keep worrying that I do not know myself, and maybe I don’t love my bf, and maybe other people see something I don’t. Anyways, how can I help myself? I am noticing I’m reassuring and checking and starting compulsions

Hi just for reference, I’m a girl, I’m almost 17 and I’ve been boy crazy for pretty much all my life. I- I don’t even know what to think anymore, I identify as straight and enjoy thinking about men sexually and emotionally, but I can also masterbate to women weirdly enough? I’ve been diagnosed with pure ocd and I have no desire to have any sexual or emotional relationships with women in real life, and I’ve had hocd for over a year now, but I can masterbate to weird things sometimes and I know I’m not supposed to but I compulsively search things up very often and from what I’ve found most people would say that it would mean that I’m bi. The idea of being bi or gay has made me hyperventilate and cry god knows how many times, at this point I wouldn’t even be angry if I was bi or gay but I know that I’m not. My head keeps telling me that since I can masterbate to gay thoughts or lesbian thoughts sometimes that it means that I’m not straight even though I have no desire to do anything even remotely close to that in real life. This is one of my worst themes of ocd so far as compared to other people who have hocd they don’t get turned on or finish thinking about these things and I do but I don’t identify as bi or gay. I just, I don’t know what to do anymore? I was hoping someone on here goes through the same thing? And I’d really rather not hear that it’s just me denying it, I have a few people I talk to and occasionally when I bring it up they just say I’m in denial so I really don’t know what to do anymore.

Okay it seems I have a new theme, if this even is a theme? I love my husband very much and I know I am not into the same gender. I have no desire to be with the same gender & I never did. But lately I’ve been getting so inside my head because I have compulsive staring and sexual intrusive thoughts which started postpartum towards my baby then quickly snowballed. I then started having sexual intrusive thoughts towards other females and males. It makes me feel weird and perverted. Where I worry is if same sex thoughts/images pop in while being intimate with my husband or during self pleasure because this has happened before. Also, I am freaking out thinking that if I think another female is pretty it means I’m attracted to her? I mean I am sure we all have thoughts like that when we look at other women right? “Oh she’s pretty.” “Oh she has nice hair.” “Oh she is really in shape and has a nice body.” Or are these thoughts weird? I can’t stop overthinking this. It’s like this started as sexual intrusive thoughts postpartum, then POCD, then sexual intrusive thoughts towards others, to me feeling like a weirdo and perverted, and now I can’t stop obsessing. I need to emphasize here that I would never hurt a child. I would never want to make anyone uncomfortable with my compulsive staring. I am very much in love with my husband and never have I ever thought of being with the same gender. It’s not something I desire. I love my husband, I love my family. I care deeply about being a good mom, a good wife & an overall good person.