- Date posted
- 2y
People with so-ocd in relationships
Hello everyone. I just wanted to know is there anyone with soocd that is in a relationship?? How do you cope and be happy or content in your relationship??
Hello everyone. I just wanted to know is there anyone with soocd that is in a relationship?? How do you cope and be happy or content in your relationship??
I do! I also have rocd. Its hard but I’ve gotten ok at telling myself “maybe I am maybe I’m not” and just doing to the opposite of what I want to do because of ocd. So say I want to avoid giving my boyfriend a kiss because I dont want to start questioning whether I liked it which would lead to me questioning my sexuality- I kiss him anymore. Say I have a compulsion to look at a girl for a long period of time to see if I’m attracted to her- I resist the questioning and tell myself “maybe I am maybe im not.”
@hiitsemmy Anyway* not “anymore”
I am so sorry can I ask one more question Thank you for responding as well. Have you ever had the thought it may be because you haven't experimented with the same sex that is why you don't know??
@Anonymous Yeah I used to have that thought too. I am bisexual and I’ve had a girlfriend! Having a girlfriend didn’t make the thoughts go away. I still feel the way that “well maybe I just didnt do enough sexual stuff with her to truly know if im gay” but when I find myself thinking in black and white like im either gay or straight then I know its ocd. I also know its ocd when I feel urgency to figure out the answer or I get so scared im going to have to leave my boyfriend if I find out im gay. I try my hardest to accept the thoughts and to remind myself to just say “maybe, maybe not.” Also dont apologize for having questions! it really helps to talk with someone who experiences the same things
@hiitsemmy I know you weren't responding to me but oh my god, what you were saying about Black and White making you know it's OCD... as a bisexual with brutal SOOCD who always feels like it has to be one or the other, thank you
@hiitsemmy Thank you for answering my questions I keep having thoughts that I should experiment and if I did I would know even though I don't have genuine desire or want to do so. I just want the questioning and doubts to stop even though I am happy and fulfilled in my relationship.
I’m a good man and I know that. My OCD revolves around relationships. While dating someone a truly enjoy, I find myself needing to compulse everything on my mind or else I feel like I’m being a liar or keeping secrets. I also am pretty confident I suffer from false memory ocd. I don’t like to put a label on things but I’m 99.9% sure I do. My compulsions a lot of times come from things I’m not even sure are real. The more thought I put into them, the more I start to believe they are real. One of the worst compulsions I had in my relationship was I had a thought “what if I find my ex more attractive” and “what if I thought the sex with them was better”. I ended up compulsing these things to my gf. After lots of time to think and get a ahold of myself I was able to remind myself that these things weren’t true and I was just in a downward spiral. There was a 2-3 month period where every time I was relieved of something then I would instantly think of something else. These compulsions have caused insecurity in my gf and I feel like a terrible person. Never meant to hurt her at all and was just trying to find a sense of relief. While I know it is not true, I can’t fix things with words and I feel terrible. I would love to hear from people with tricks and strategies that can help. I love my gf and want to fix things and understand this is not a relationship fixer app but I would like to know what are some ways you are able to deal with these kind of things.
Hey guys! My boyfriend has said recently that he doesn't know if he's strong enough to continue with our relationship because of my OCD. He wants to see me overcome my symptoms and learn to live a healthy life with OCD, but my anxieties and obsessions are starting to really affect his life. I understand his reasoning, it's hard to see someone you care about struggle with OCD, especially when it starts to affect you too. I'm asking for tips to deal with my compulsions in the relationship. I HAVE to know the answer to things and sometimes that leads into arguments because even with apologies and discussions I can't let things go, even if they genuinely don't matter or are miniscule issues we have. It's a healthy relationship otherwise but I feel horrible because it's impacting him so negatively, that's the absolute last thing I want to happen. I care for him deeply and he cares for me too, so I don't want my OCD to be a reason we break up but I fear it's headed in that direction. I'm starting therapy soon, but until then what are some things I can do to stop my ROCD from impacting him? I know sitting in the guilt and anxiety of not completing my obsessions will help, but I'm wondering if there are other things I can do to maybe remedy some of the damage already done.
Anyone who has had sexual orientation OCD since the “dating age” (middle school/high school)— how did you ever determine your sexuality? I don’t want reassurance because I understand our experiences may be different. I’m just curious— did you try boys and girls? Did you just find your person and know? I started having SOOCD at age 16 and I’m now 28. OCD has ruined my ability to date more than anything else. I feel like it stole my chance at love. I’ve had three long-term situationships with men. I adored them but they were also toxic because I think I subconsciously didn’t believe I deserved better. I felt that if I knew the relationship wouldn’t work because of fundamental differences, at least it was okay that I couldn’t fully be present in the relationship. Not sure if this makes sense, but I’m just grieving that part of my life I missed out on.
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