OCD and not being able to trust myself

I've realized a while back that I've had OCD since I was a kid. Pretty extreme, Religious paranoia, magical thinking, for the most part in the beginning, and it became so much worse (diving into all types of harm, specifically sexual harm, religious, magical thinking, false memories extra soup pot) till I started treating myself a couple months back Surrounded by pretty low support, and some people who would feed into my magical thinking They did indeed become delusions. Thats just a basic history on me, now. I've noticed that because of how intense and terrifying my ocd has been for me A way that I chose to combat a lot of my everything was by letting other people think for me Letting them set the pace and choose for me Letting them come to me Letting them speak without interrupting And because of that I developed Almost no self-thinking tools/skills (I am also autistic so this might also be a factor in my social path) I've let many people lead me into foolish roles, and it wasn't till I've almost screamed at myself crying and begging myself to stop and leave them That I did Its been a very long process I have better people now And in general Many things are better though its still is very difficult Living in a mind that only wants to keep me prisoner out of absolute fear I still want to get better, I'm not sure what many other steps to take besides talking out loud and taking it day by day