- Username
- Rosie_Gore
- Date posted
- 73d ago
- Young adults with OCD
- Order & Symmetry OCD
Should I get help?
I dont know if this is the right place to post this so please let me know its not so I can delete it :) I've had this problem since what feels like forever- I can't remember a time where I haven't. Recently, it's gotten so much worse- my hairbands that I can't take off my wrist, the fact I can't walk through a door without having to go back and walk through again because I got 'caught', turn on a light without doing it again with my other hand, walk past a chair without walking back past the same way, put a book down on the table and if the corners don't go down evenly I have to do it again till it feels right, leave a person without counting otherwise something bad will happen to them, throw something away even as stupid as a piece of paper without having to count to 8 twice or do it again or do it for a certain number of times or until it feels right. I have to tap my candle every morning and every night otherwise something bad will happen. I have to put all my makeup back in my box the same places it came out of otherwise something bad will happen. I have a set routine of how I have to put away Lottie at night and get her out in the morning. I can't lose the anklets that I wear. I have to lie flat on my back to go to sleep because otherwise it's uneven and my duvet has to be evenly across me otherwise I'm wonky. I have to chew my food a certain number of times and it gets to the point where it's just easier to not eat. I can't walk on any of the cracks in the pavement and I have to have two steps in each square, one with each foot. If I hit my leg on a door I have to hit the other leg in exactly the same place. If I apply concealer on a spot on the left hand side of my face I have to apply it to the same place on the other side of my face even if I don't have a spot there. I have to tap my fingers evenly and switch my lamp on and off an even amount of times. I get emotionally attached to inanimate objects then I can't throw them away e.g. the carpet in my old room, the wallpaper in the study, mum's old desk chair I snuck out at 3am to the car just so I could cut two pieces of the fabric off to keep in my box upstairs. I can't have the volume on my laptop or the TV at any number that isn't even and even then it can't be on certain numbers because they are wrong. I can't walk on the little squares on my carpet in the lounge or up the stairs. It's just so draining because it's constantly me vs my thoughts and my thoughts always win and I'm always in the wrong and I always have to count twice to 8 if I do it wrong.