I hope this isn’t reassurance seeking but does anyone understand why my anxiety spikes when I think good things about my partner or think about being with them in general and my anxiety calms down when I think bad things about my partner or don’t think about them at all?
I think it's because the doubt that's there makes you feel that you're lying or not allowed to feel/think positively about it. If that makes sense? My theory anyway. I've had a similar experience
@OoOcCdD66 Sorry for the late response but do you mind telling me what techniques you did to get past this experience?
@Anonymous Think those loving thoughts and be sweet despite the anxiety and doubt. Don't give into compulsions while doing so!
Because you're anxious lol otherwise you wouldn't be writing here as you wouldn't be worrying about it.
I know I’m anxious just usually I had anxious about the negative thoughts I had about my partner now it’s the opposite. It’s confusing
I understood that. But the thing is, it doesn't seem to me you're having a nice time with the bad thoughts about your partner. If you did you wouldn't even be with them anymore (and wouldn't have had a hard time accepting that).
@Lavander Ohh okay I understand that now. It just made me nervous or confused because I assumed it was my truth but you’re right I would just accept it if it was. And I definitely don’t want that. Thank you for you’re reply!
Yeah that makes a lot of sense actually
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
These past few days I was fine. Minimal intrusive thoughts ,no anxiety etc(to add I'm on medication so maybe it's starting to work although it barely is 2 weeks) and today I got a sudden wave of anxiety and it started latching on some thoughts like" what if I'm in denial and I wanna break up with my bf? And what if erp doesn't work for me because I actually wanna break up with my bf?" But they didn't really stay long usually those thoughts would make me spiral for days or so, now they lasted for some hours. And now I'm trying to trigger myself into being anxious again because if I don't it means I don't have ocd and if I don't have ocd it means I don't love my bf and if I don't love my bf it means I have to break up. Idk if it makes sense but the lack of anxiety makes me wonder if I actually have ocd or not.
How do you guys get past the anxiety? I feel like my thoughts are the only thing that control my mind. So often I feel like I should just leave my partner even tho I love them so much because I just feel like these thoughts are too much. I over analyze everything. I feel so stuck and defeated. I just want to be normal. I feel so toxic for the thoughts that I have
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