Can’t tell what’s real

Not in a literal sense but more of the fact about whether or not my feelings are genuine. My theme right now is having covert narcissism and i feel like whenever I’m sad it’s fake or for personal gain. It’s also hard for me to deal with treatment because all I’m thinking about is whether or not the problem is covert narcissism and if my life would even be better without OCD help since i already have this issue. When i have a bad thought, labeling it as OCD isn’t good enough anymore because now it’s possibly NPD. I can’t get out of this cycle and nothing is enjoyable due to the way i now view myself which is a helpless case that will always have low-self esteem and a lack of empathy. I also want to mention that with this type of NPD I’m scared of the people who have it are general miserable and are aware of their insecure self. This to me makes everything 100x worse because i can’t even have the gratification of realizing i have issues because the people with covert NPD already do.

Anon.

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

For me, more relief usually tended to come not when I tried to tell myself that my thoughts were OCD, but rather that it's possible they're not. That's really scary to do at times, but ERP helped show me that by embracing the uncertainty, I can get longer lasting relief. My therapist even had me add this to one of my exercises, "I even convinced myself it was OCD, then this happened." For me, it's a straight FU to OCD to look it in the face and try to embrace the uncertainty. With time, consistency, and willingness, this helped me better break the OCD cycle. I hope this helps in some way!

martini_6710

Date posted: 1y ago

If you need to talk let me know! I have identical thoughts.

Jennah

Date posted: 1y ago

@martini_6710 i would like to talk for sure

martini_6710

Date posted: 1y ago

@Jennah My snap is martini_6710

Jennah

Date posted: 1y ago

@martini_6710 ok i think i did it

jelixa

Date posted: 26d ago

hey iv been going through this too, i’m wondering if this was OCD or NPD? i just broke up recently with my boyfriend and thought i had ROCD or something”used” ROCD, manipulated him and people, lied to him and people for my own benefit. i haven’t stopped reading and looking and believing about covert narc. i took a quiz and payed for it, i know it’s not like a professional actual assessment but i felt that i answered honestly and my results were covert narc which made me have a whole other perspective of my behavior and actions in my relationship i just got out of. i lost appetite, i don’t do anything, i only now just browse about covert narc and analyze my past and relationship past/behavior, and it feels like painfully it does make sense.. but im going to talk to this to my therapist and ocd specialist (which makes me think that the therapist and OCD specialist were part of my narrative and to manipulate). but this discovery now which has absolutely put me in a agonizing place, i feel so terrible for my partner if this is really the problem and it was all fake just for my own self serving, self image and not wanting to be “found out”. i have a lot of signs with myself and it hurts because that just means that if i don’t change this is who i am, and this is me which i don’t want to be this way, but who knows like i don’t trust myself i just am hyper aware and i don’t even know.

D23859

Date posted: 25w ago

Can OCD be something that doesnt fit any subtype?

I have this fear of being a psychopath or sociopath. All my life i was able to feel normal emotions like joy, sadness, guilt etc up until now where i suddenly gained this new fear of being a psychopath because i felt emotionally detached from my partner lately and i now feel like i emotionally shut down and like im on autopilot mode. Its like i cant feel anything right now, and to test myself i think of situations in my head that are bad (like someone getting hit by a car) to see if i feel any empathy and it scares me that i sometimes dont. I keep doing this over and over and i cant feel anything, im so scared of being evil or something. It triggers me when i see negative things on social media because im scared i don’t feel anything or not care about it at all. I never thought id be saying this but i WANT to feel sad or upset just so i know im not crazy.

niknicole

Date posted: 25w ago

._.

Everything feels so real. I think learning about non-offending pedophiles has really screwed with me. I feel like I’m not even doing compulsions anymore like I genuinely cannot remember if I do them or not and the groinal responses are messing with me. I keep having intrusive dreams and I’m in that half asleep state and I feel nothing after that or I feel weird like a good weird, I don’t know. It’s a really weird feeling when I get those thoughts but I don’t like them, I don’t think. All I know is, I keep seeking reassurance and I feel like I don’t have OCD because the way I feel, like the way I get worked up isn’t the same as others. Whenever I try to watch a show, like 9-1-1 or daily dose of sunshine, I feel like I’m watching something I shouldn’t be. Or if I’m just on my phone, I feel like something is going to happen. I feel red flags whenever I’m on my phone, like somehow cp will appear. I know that OCD is the doubting disorder but my god, this is just crazy. I feel like I’m going crazy. Everything is just nonstop, it’s so constant and I’m genuinely scared that I’ll do something when I get out of my room. I don’t know anymore, this whole OCD thing is just making me lose my mind.

FairyWithaKnife

Date posted: 19w ago

I just don't know

I've gotten diagnosed with OCD and I'm in therapy. But I'm worried that I don't have OCD/that I got misdiagnosed. And recently I'm worried that I've just gotten myself into a habit of thinking of dirty minded or just plain old terrible things after I see/hear certain things because I feel like I need to prove I have OCD or else I'm faking(sometimes this goes away). Or that I'm just mimicking symptoms of ocd to cope with real problems I may have and that im just really deep into denial. I don't know...I'm just so tired. I mean, what if I really am what I think I am and this is my brains only way of coping? I don't even really feel anything towards most of the thoughts anymore either I just know they go against my values and I don't want them. I don't know if that's because I'm so mentally exhausted, I just don't care, or that the thoughts are true and I'm comfortable with them.

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Can’t tell what’s real

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