Bad therapy

My ocd was weaponized by a therapist who wanted to do trauma work. Against my wishes. She told me “why are you in therapy if you don’t want to do the work”. I didn’t know about my childhood trauma. But she found it, and judged me for it. And then put intrusive thoughts in my head. It wasn’t until this week that I realized that I might be suffering from ocd. My family is getting sick of me. I’m stuck in a negative tape loop. After therapy I started having panic attacks and now am faced with dealing with anxiety and depression almost daily. I’m so pissed at her. I think I’m traumatized by going to therapy. She taught my brain to look for trouble. She also put unhelpful thoughts in my heads. Oh, and when my lizard brain found the guilt and shame of childhood. She told me to imagine a golden box to put it back in. My inner child wants to burn my house down and has no plans on leaving. So, I feel stuck.

Username: Dianaa_8274Dianaa_8274

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

Dont be discouraged to continue looking for the right fit, it takes some time and a few tried but once you find the help you need it is a million times worth it. I had a bad experience with my first therpist and psychiatrist too. Actually, when I went to go see the psychiatrist she told me that I was borderline crazy and that I could convince myself of whatever I thought and that it's impossible to change the way we think. My first therapist got upset with me because I asked him "what if I don't get better" out of fear after having multiple anxiety attacks. He judged me for it and said well why are you in therapy if you don't want to change. This threw me into a even deeper rabbit hole. I didn't know about OCD and when I started doing my research and brought it up to them they hit me with the "you don't count enough" or "you don't wash your hands enough" kind of deal and said it most likely was not ocd. I started therapy here on NOCD and honestly I love my therapist and she makes me feel understood and most importantly she has educated me more on the reason I think the way I think. She has made me feel normal in my own group of people. I've found a lot of support in this app as well. Keep your head up, keep looking until you find the right fit!

Username: r1nzl3rr1nzl3r

Date posted: 1y ago

im so sorry you had to go through that, ive also had horrific experiences with therapy which is why i currently am not seeking it but i can also tell you that there are good therapists out there!! dont give up!! try to find therapists that specialize in ocd treatment, look at any reviews, and be upfront about ur previous experiences with therapy so they know upon first session if you think therapy can benefit you please keep looking, hope things get easier😊

Username: Ghostdog Ghostdog

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@r1nzl3r Thank you so very much. This helps

Username: Ghostdog Ghostdog

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 1y ago

@r1nzl3r This sounds similar to my experience. It kinda turned me off to therapy. I found an ad for this app and they mentioned intrusive thoughts are not my own. I don’t really count or wash hands. But, I do find myself doing a lot of things in order to bring me luck.

Username: NicaNica

Date posted: 1y ago

Find a better therapist that is actually a trauma specialist. That therapist is an idiot and not professional.

Username: bdk

Date posted: 3y ago

Anyone wanna help me with a little fact-checking? I had a horrible appointment with my family doctor today. She basically told me that my anxiety around my relationship and sex was not OCD, but a cry for help because I’m not in the right relationship. She said these things to me AFTER telling me she doesn’t know much about OCD and AFTER I told her I loved my fiancé and did not want to leave him. She pressured me to leave him to “find myself.” Honestly, she sounded like OCD personified. She also said that OCD is not an external force working against me, but a manifestation of thoughts and feelings I already have. Basically she said OCD is a way for me to express what I’m scared of feeling and that it’s a way to help me realize what I really feel. She said OCD doesn’t work against me from an external perspective, that it doesn’t “happen” to me and affect the way I feel and respond, but that it just brings those things to light. She said all that to say that my anxiety about my relationship with my fiancé and anxiety around my sexual orientation isn’t OCD, just anxiety because I’m in the wrong relationship and need to leave him. Any thoughts? The conversation truly sent me spiraling, and I will not be going back to her.

Username: Catlove9

Date posted: 2y ago

I need guidance

The other day I posted something about my harm ocd. I was so thankful that a few people gave me some great advice. A few days after, one of the therapists also replied. It was great advice. But something they said at the end has triggered me so bad that I’m spiraling. They said that if my thoughts change to actually wanting my harm thoughts, to contact my therapist. For some reason, this has sent me reeling because part of my harm ocd is worrying if I want these thoughts! And now I feel like I’m this horrible person and I’m changing. It’s not their fault. They didn’t know they’d trigger me. But idk what to do because now I just feel exhausted.

Harm OCD

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

OCD when going through trauma

A friend of mine a few months ago did something very bad to me. Tldr, there was sexual assualt, and it was basically a nuclear bomb when i discussed it with a friend and everyone found out. I've had such a hard time dealing with it, since i get these obsessive thoughts, "what if i misremembered what happened" "what if he didnt mean to do it?" and ive avoided talking about it with anyone, so people made up their own conclusions and stories and I lost almost all my friends because they didnt understand what was happening. Talking about it causes such ruminations and shame spirals. How can I resolve or work through this experience when I cant think or talk about it without guilt and doubt from OCD?

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