Xavier Robinson
- Date posted
- 5y ago
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Dear Maya10; I completely understand what you feel - When we are under the OCD spell it is hard to see. It is a paradox. Look. To be completely honest I gave up my quest to know what I am. For real, I am not kidding. I don't know if I am gay, bi or straight with kinks. But I DO know what I want, I love living with my wife, she makes me happy, I love her company. I don't WANT any other life. Some people might say that I am lying to myself and in the closet. Well, those people can kiss my a**. I don't care about what they think, I care about what I want. Same thing with my pocd - My OCD tells me that I might have hidden attractions to children and other perversions and that if people knew my life and thoughts they would think the same. Well, they can think whatever they want. I don't WANT to do any of those things. My thoughts may attack me - I still don't WANT to act on any of them. If you really think hard about it you'll realize that these obsessions come from society and the media. We are scared of what people will say.
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y ago
We can’t say for sure either way. And neither can you! Whatever happened: maybe it was a sign you’re really gay, or maybe it was another symptom of HOCD. To do ERP you gotta accept the uncertainty of that. I’m sorry you’re going through this!
pureolifepureolife
- Date posted
- 5y ago
You’ll have to stop looking for clues and trying to piece together why all of this is happening. Give each question an uncertain answer: “I don’t know! Maybe!” And then leave it at that. When you’re brain asks another question, do it again.
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I'm glad it helped. Now, you need your husband's support and an OCD specialist if you don't have one already. There is treatment online too. The reason why that is important is because the thoughts will keep coming and you need to show your brain that you are OK with uncertainty. Your husband needs to play a part in it to the point where when you go ask for reassurance "What if I am truly a lesbian"? Then he needs to answer: "May be" "Who knows" and then move on and stay like that. That attitude destroys OCD to the core, but you might need the guidance of a therapist.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
What an amazing answer ,& thank you. Yep I'm married with kids & adore my family but the old ocd creeping drives me mad! I love your understanding & this answer gives me comfort for sure. Yep I don't want to act on these thoughts & they definitely attack my regular life. Thank you & I think the constant thoughts wear me down! But I realise that maybe you can have a life with these thought & kind of carry on regardless!!!
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Yep I'm with a therapist but she might not be really good with OCD. But I'm willing to chat again to her, she's a very supportive therapist but its more talk therapy. I'll have to consider telling my husband as he suffers from his own anxiety & doesn't really sympathize with me when I have had other anxious feelings that have shattered me. I find keeping it to myself is easier as I'll just have to worry about him then! But it is something to consider!
Xavier RobinsonXavier Robinson
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Well i mean that big big thing happened like 3 months ago and i got past it. But now since that big thing ive been digging myself in a hole. But i think i just remembered somthing maybe the attraction to girls thing kicked in a few days later.
FernandoVFernandoV
- Date posted
- 5y ago
That is great advice but usually people in this forum are not ready to face uncertainty and receive "probably", "may be" answers (which are the most adequate for the OCD). And I get it, people want only love and hidden reassurance, which is not an awful terrible thing to do but it will never help anyone make any progress. So, just giving you a heads up because they might report you. Apparently sarcasm is not understood well through a graphic mesis.
maya1090maya1090
- Date posted
- 5y ago
But I can't understand "you might have to accept you might be gay?" When you never were for your entire life. I get confused on this as this means that I will have to admit & tell everyone that I'm not sure about my sexuality? I mean I can't live with the unsure feelings to be honest. Its day in day out of the same question. Some days are better than others but the feelings of guilt & this hidden feelings & emotions is never ending so I guess I don't know how to just accept it I mean if I accept it that means I'll start having to change my entire life which I don't want. Very difficult!
Related posts
King silly
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Any helpful erp methods?
I’ll list some key things with my main subtype, and I hope that I can get some erp advice, but it’s okay if not, I know nobody is my therapist..! 1. I have this thing where when I feel false attraction about a k!d, I will be immediately convinced and say “that means I am?” “I am attracted” “I feel attracted?” “He’s attractive” not to be weird but I panic and say these because I don’t want them, and I feel like I agree with it, this makes me feel like a bad person when I say them (sometimes I can’t help it when I get really stressed) what can I do for this to be better? 2. My brain will give me an intrusive question, asking if I’d do this,this or that, and I feel like agreeing or saying yes to this, sometimes I will hear a yes and I’ll freak out 3. When I get triggered by a photo, I have to keep checking and checking (this will always last forever) till I’m sure that I think the photo is cute or adorable and not in any way that I feel false attraction Whenever I feel convinced, I feel bad that I feel convinced and it’ll say “well if you were a good person, why do you allow yourself to get convinced even if you know you aren’t this”
Dead girl wa...
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I’m confused
Ok so I’m a 17 year old female, and I’ve always thought I was straight. But I just really want to know how you would know the difference between so-ocd and actually questioning your sexuality. I have nothing against the LGBTQ community (in fact I am very much a token straight friend, lol) but I saw a video about comp-het recently and it sort of felt like what I was experiencing. I don’t want to be gay, I want to be with men, I want to like men, I’ve always liked men, but now I’m questioning whether or not that’s real? Because people can be gay but not want to be right? I’m single and I always have been. I think women are gorgeous, but when I try to imagine actually having any sort of romantic or sexual relationship with a woman it feels wrong, at least most of the time it does? Sometimes I’m less sure, and I’ve never been particularly boy crazy. I’ve liked maybe 2 or 3 people in my life, (not to say I’ve never found other guys attractive, but it doesn’t seem to be as often as most people) I have no particular reason to be afraid of being gay, very supportive family, safe area ect, but I don’t want to be, does that mean this is ocd, I don’t know what’s going on every time I say I’m straight I feel like I’m lying, but that might just be because I think about it so much. The idea of being with a woman doesn’t feel like something I would want, but is that just because I don’t want to want it? People online say things with so much sureness, if you feel like this it means this. Ect.
ocd1101
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I feel absolutely horrible!!
I had same Sex fantasies, sought that out in 🌽 before I knew what sexuality was, it’s related to a specific fetish and I used to talk to strangers online including men and I’m scared now what all of this means, I have HOCD, POCD, all sorts of thoughts but I don’t know if it’s my thoughts or my past which is reality. Why did I have those thoughts as a young boy? Why why why? Who am I? Do I even have OCD? What monster am I? I just want to end it all sometimes in all honesty. Not really but sure feels like it. I’m dying inside .
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