- Date posted
- 2y
Incest OCD
Hi all. I am overwhelmed with a nudging, horrible fear that my father is using me to replace the emotional connection he had with my now passed mother. He makes innuendos and my OCD immediately starts barraging me with "One day he's going to try and rape you" and "He's sexually attracted to you because you look like her before she got sick." He says I'm one of the only people he has. He hasn't made any inappropriate actions and a lot of the NSFW "jokes" I excuse as him now having very good social skills. I just wish these thoughts would stop so I can be there for him through this shared grief without feeling scared shitless and disgusted at him and myself with no logical basis for it. I'm tearing myself and my family apart with these thoughts. They delve into "He probably raped you as a kid" and all sorts of past events that I can't verify as being "true" but can't rule out as "false" either. I just want to be able to love and support my dad without feeling disgusting, or like I'm leading towards something worse. Has anyone else had a similar experience? What did you do to find comfort or resolution? How do I stop being scared of and disgusted with my dad when he didn't even do anything? I don't want to tell him about these thoughts because I can imagine how horrifying it would be to hear your daughter tell you she's scared you're gonna rape her, but I can't tell anyone else either. I feel crazy. I feel totally alone. I feel like my OCD has robbed me of my dad.