I'm scared I'm "in love" with a coworker

The sensations feel so real??? I feel so guilty, feeling like I'm cheating on my BF emotionally because I noticed an attractive coworker who may have taken interest in me. Or maybe I'm misinterpreting things.... idk man has anyone gone through this?! Whenever I'm intimate or close to my bf, my brain is bombarded with fantasies about this random dude that I know little about...

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Hey! I’m not an expert but I also have ROCD and get really anxious when I think anyone is attractive/interesting. Something that helped me is learning that it’s really normal to develop crushes outside of the relationship. In fact, someone told me that on average we become infatuated with a new person every two years. The difference between this and cheating is if you ACT on it. You can’t control if you think someone is cute and you like being around them, but you CAN control if you seek out spending time with them and intentionally fantasize about them. It helped me to normalize and accept that sometimes I’ll have a little crush on someone, and to trust myself that I will act on my values of staying faithful to my partner by not seeking out this other person, spending alone time with them, or intentionally daydreaming about them (that’s different from intrusive thoughts about them). Besides that, I practice non-engagement responses and acceptance and commitment by allowing my intrusive thoughts to be there, and not engaging with them. The way to do this is to accept the possibility of your intrusive thoughts rather than arguing with them, so instead of ruminating and trying to stop them, responding with something like “maybe,” “it’s possible,” “ok,” “you never know,” etc. So if I have an intrusive thought like “omg that person is so cute, do you want to be with them instead of your partner” I respond with “maybe I do, maybe I don’t” and try to move on without engaging. I repeat something like this and attempt to not engage, even if my brain keeps trying. So if my brain then says, “no really, what if this person is your soulmate” I respond “it’s possible, that would suck.” And so on—keep going and don’t engage.

Fabulousfaer...

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 2y

@totallyconfused It's so shifty! I too feel like I have to break up with my partner because of me finding other people attractive!

Nicolas:)

Date posted: 2y

I feel something similar but in my case it's with sexual orientation OCD, there's this classmate I have that it's funny and now my brain says I have a "crush" on him and it feels so real, the other day I skip a class just so I wouldn't have to look at his face

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

Sorry I just posted a mini novel there—hope it’s helpful!

Anonymous

Date posted: 2y

I hear you, that is so hard! But even if it doesn’t feel like it, we always have a choice! OCD makes me feel like I’m stuck in a corner with no choice, like I have to do what it says because it’s my intuition, or whatever. But even if you feel that way, you still have a choice. OCD is a bully!

The Val

Date posted: 2y

Praying for you 🙏🙏🙏

Somewhereona...

Date posted: 25w

I feel confused

Do our minds imagine someone to look more attractive than they actually are in real life? I get aroused when I get images of this one guy and it feels like I really want to have sex with him but at the same time I try to push it away. I feel like there’s a part of me that is curious and wanting to explore, but I have a boyfriend and I love him and I only want him.

misereri

Date posted: 22w

Hi, please reply to me

I frequently feel the need to test myself with sexual scenarios with a guy jn my class, im jn a relationship and i keep testing if I find him hot attractive or whatever and i have many crisis about it likw i pray to god to not make me attracted to X person, sometimes I avoid going to school i avoid looking at him I skip periods and truly yall idk what to do anymore. Can someone give me suggestions? I'm scared I don't wanna be attracted to anyone else besides my boyfriend i don't wanna cheat on him I don't wanna do anything I just wanna live a quiet happy life with him . I'm worried I know the truth and just don't wanna accept it jm super worried I need suggestions pls

Googlyeyes34

Date posted: 22w

False attraction

False attraction has been killing me ive had it for months with the same person. I have a boyfriend so having false attraction makes me feel so guilty. And lately theyve felt so real and ive been so anxious. What if I do like him bla bla. Ive only ever saw him as a brother and we have a good connection and he is one of my good friends but even sometimes when im having a conversation I feel like im cheating. Sometimes I get excited like oh yay he is gonna be here and then I get scared that it’s romantical because I get excited when he is around because he is a funny. Im so scared thats its real attraction because I love my boyfriend I would never do such a thing. And lately my minds done stuff like oh grab his attention stuff like that and it feels like I have done those actions but I dont want to. Sometimes when he is like idk sitting near Im like oh is he looking and my minds like oh do something to empress him bla bla. Recently he was going thought stuff and my boyfriend was there and I was I can give him a hug because I think he needs it but after I thought of it as bad because he is a guy and I had this false attraction what if I did it because I like him bla bla. I am freaking out idk why my mind makes me do compulsions that I have acted on like oh go talk to him and I do its weird urges that I do not want to do. I am scared that it will come true

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I'm scared I'm "in love" with a coworker

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