Is this ocd ?

Contamination OCD. I have trouble with toilets, but a different form of bathroom OCD.

my mom would do that lol. if its a dirty bathroom its probably justified tho

oh i missed the part where you said even at your own house, ya thats ocd

very much could be. when i was little and when friends used to come over and use the toilet I would avoid sitting where they had sat by putting the legs away to not touch the part that was "contaminated" and for a while I walked with crooked legs

Dear God, Matthew, your situation is so much like mine. I do have a husband, but he is the only person I have in my life. My parents hated me for having ocd, they didn't know that it was ocd, they didn't care. Not even enough to be curious about what was going on with me and look it up. It was easier to be angry with me, to condemn me for not being the way they wanted me to be, expected me to be. They called me names. I was isolating myself more and more, refused to go to family celebrations with relatives who on other days never called or wished me or my family happy birthday or holidays or just to ask how I was doing. I refused to be present when my parents had visitors. Which was every day for 3 to 4 hours. And we lived in a 60m2 flat. 1 bedroom, 1 living room, a kitchen and a bathroom. 4 people. In the end thay backstabbed me in every possible way. It got so bad I ran away from home. I had money enough just to survive for a week or so. No relatives ever tried to find me, offer help,... They believed my parents. Still today after not seeing them all for almost 30 years they all think of me as the weirdo, the nutcase of the family. And I am a way Kinder and nicer person than any of them. They are narcissistic and egocentral, egotistical. They don't give a damn about anyone else. And I help anyone I can, rescue animals, give to others even when I don't have enough for myself. And I am the weirdo of the family. Matthew, I am soooo happy you have supportive parents and the aunt and her boyfriend. I do not know what experiences you have in your love life. I hope you find someone who will appreciate you. It's funny how women hope to get a nice, calm and dependable man like you, but when they find him, they don't appreciate it. There must be a person out there who will see you and your character through the Ocd. I have been married for 17 years. It's been very hard on me and my husband because of ocd and some conflicts at the very beginning of our relationship. I wanted out on many occasions , but had no way to survive on my own. There were times, when life was hard and that worsened my ocd and it would just be too much for my husband and he got angry and called me names, or threw things around. He thought I was lying to him that I couldn't help myself and that I was doing it on purpose. He didn't understand ocd. I was thinking about killing myself on daily basis. But, through it all he stuck by me and things did get better. I have gone back on medication and go out more often, and am more relaxed and he loves me again the way he did in the beginning. The only problem is, that I am scared now to love him. I do, I care about him, I want to stay with him for the rest of my life (well, even if I wanted to go on my own, I can't, I depend on him as far as money is concerned), but I've been hurt so much in life by people who were supposed to love me, support me, that I fear I am unable to really truly love anyone anymore. Wow. This is the first time I have let anyone in on this worry/fear I've been having for a couple of years now. I have a therapist and a psychiatrist as well. The psychiatrist just gives me meds and doesn't give a damn about how I am doing, about the fact that I have nights when I can't fall asleep at all since taking serotonin,... I see her 1x every month and a half. I send her emails telling her what's going on or ask her for advice, but she almost never responds. We had a talk about that. She is very young and inexperienced. The talk helped for a week or so, now it's the same. The clinical psychologist is nice, she cares, but knows ocd just by name. We just chat. Once 1 month. I am thankful for the meds. I would not be able to function without them. I also never had a real friend. I don't get it. I believe I am a kind and caring person. Obviously that is not an interesting characteristic. I don't even care about that very much. It hurts sometimes, but I am getting used to people's nature. I also love music (I am the old rock generation, I love rock, even some blues and country, as well as classical music), I love watching films or TV series, but not the ones that are plain stupid. I love intelligent humor, movies with a message. Those that stay with me for years. I Also love animals and nature and going for long walks, swimming,... Well Matthew, people might have lost interest in you and me, they might think that we are weird, but I sure have not lost interest at being your friend and definitely do not see anything weird about you. I wish we lived closer, then you would be welcome to my and my husband's home any time. My husband is like you, just without ocd. Since I have ocd and am a lot like you, I sure do appreciate you. Every time you write you make me feel good. I can relate and talk not just in general about ocd, but to the point. That gives me hope and makes me feel less lonely in my world in my head. Thank you. I want to know all your fears, thoughts, anything you are willing to share with me. If you want to, you've got a true friend. 🍀

Hi, Matthew. I apologize for not responding earlier. During the weekends I do read the posts and emails, but I answer them or calls usually on Mondays. Or other week days. Due to our current unusual situation, I only get to see and spend time with my husband during weekends. From Monday to Friday he lives 280km away because of work. It's been like this for 9 months now. I used to live there with him, but moved in July last year. I couldn't stand living there. He is going to move here permanently as well in a few months. He is still there because of job obligations. 5 days a week I can do whatever I need to or want to on the internet, but when he is here, I try to focus on him, on us. To show appreciation and respect. He also turns off his phone when he is here so we can be in peace. We usually just talk, listen to music, watch a movie or a TV show, cook, go for a walk or a ride,.... He has never asked me not to be active on the internet when he's here, I just feel it's a decent thing to do. If you post sth on Saturday or Sunday, I will see it, but I will most probably answer on Monday. Just so you know that all is OK, and that's the only reason I am more passive during weekends. I hope that's ok with you. Thank you so much for understanding, for your support and friendship. I am really thankful and happy. How have you been? How was your weekend? To answer your question where do I come from. I sort of recon you've already figured out that I am not from the USA by reading what I have just written above. That's why the 280kms instead of 174miles. 😊. I am from Europe. The best way to explain exactly from which country, is to mention that now already the previous or the ex-first lady of the USA comes from the same country as me. Well, she even has birthday on the same day as me, I believe. And that sums it up what I know about her. 😊. How is it to live in Upstate New York? For someone with ocd it is very helpful if you come from a big state or city. To find the appropriate support or help from professional therapists is harder and less probable than winning a lottery in small countries. Here we have only 1 city that can be called a city and even that just because it's the capital. Its population is just over 288.000 people. The second largest has less than 100. 000 people. Yeah, it is very hard when people who were supposed to love you and be there for you, just don't care. My parents had been trying to have a child for years before they had me. They had to deal with a couple of miscarriages and a baby boy, a son who died because of a heart failure only an hour or two after birth. One would think they would be thrilled and full of love when I finally came along. But I guess they did have a good excuse for hating me. An excuse anyone can understand, I'm sure. I was not a boy. And they wanted a son. So it was my fault from the minute I was born,right? And then came the ocd. Boy, were they happy with me. Hmmm. I guess my history proves that just about anyone can have a child, but not everyone who has it can be a good parent. And in my care the blood does not seem to be thicker than water. I would like to ask you more about you. If that makes me too nosy or you too uncomfortable, just let me know. No problem. What is your relationship with your brother like? I have been meaning to ask you how did you deal with the situation of the maintenance man fixing your toilet? Was it ok for you or did your ocd fly off the handle? You probably needed to clean after him when he left. Everybody would. But was it just cleaning for the sanitary purposes or did the compulsions kick in? I hope it wasn't too stressful for you. I know it would be hard for me. Please tell me more about yourself, what you like, don't like... What sports do you like? I know you like going to the gym. How is it for you at the gym? Are you able to use the toilets there or take a shower or do you prefer to wait until you get back home? Does a good workout help with calming down or even prevent ocd? Do you participate in any other sports? What kind of movies do you like? What music do you prefer? Matthew, do you have a job? If you do, does ocd interfere and cause problems? Have you lived on your own for a long time? It gets pretty comfortable living the way it suits you when one's on their own. Do you see yourself being able to live with someone in the future when you meet a person you fall in love with and they with you? Even for an individual without ocd it can be hard to get used to living with someone again, let alone for someone with ocd. Isn't it ironic? A person with ocd would give anything to find a loving and supporting person to go through life together, And when the miracle does happen, and the " lucky" one "blessed" with ocd finds true love, instead of being happy and enjoy it, the inner fight with ocd begins. CRA_. They can perform open heart surgery or brain surgery or send people in space, how come they have not yet figured how to get rid of ocd. ERP helps, but not to everyone. Medication helps but usually not the whole 100% and the side effects can be just 🤪. And why does it not happen to those who don't give a damn about anything or anyone anyhow? People with ocd are already more sensitive, caring,.. Do we need to be punished for that? I think I've just sort of answered my own question why. When did your ocd first start to occur? It must have been pretty hard for your dad to see that you've got it too. How was it for your mom, your brother and you living with a dad with ocd? I can only try to imagine your mom's worries when she recognized it in you as well. I truly believe, ocd hits the intelligent and good people. See Matthew, there is a boost for your confidence. I have been torturing myself during the last few weeks about how people function. People break promises without any regret or even admitting it. They are friendly with each other face to face, but the next moment they go behind each other's backs and gossip or say bad stuff about the other. People are really trying hard to look for and find a person's weaknesses and putting them down instead of lifting them up. I guess it makes them feel good about themselves. Uuuups. You have here a whole novel to read. 🤭. I am sorry. If you find it annoying me writing such long posts, I will do my best to control myself. 😊. Feel free to be open with me. And to ask me any question about me you want to. My ocd says hello to your ocd. 😉. Maybe we can get them together somehow and send them far away for a long holiday. They can occupy each other and leave you and me alone, in peace. Can you imagine your brain being quiet for days, weeks...? 😇😄 My best to you. Looking forward to reading from you Thanks for being my friend. 🤗🍀

😊. Hi. Thanks. You are a good brother, a good son and a good person! I would trade my sister by birth (don't consider her my sister anymore) for your brother in a second. And my so called parents for parents like yours. Well my "dad" died last July. I was notified by the court a month later. I gave up my right to inheritance. A month and a half later I was notified by the court, the he had specifically stated in his will, that I don't get anything and just to make sure he listed his old car, worth 1500€tops, his old computer, family photos that he took and developed himself over the years, anything he kept in the cellar (he named each item) and in each room of the 2 bedroom apartment (again one by one). I am amazed that he didn't list his socks and underwear. Nothing is worth much or even anything . Except the flat and an old small weekend house. Yet he felt the need to make sure I don't get my hands on anything. A man who hadn't seen me for 24 years. I took nothing from him or home when I ran away and in 24 years never asked for anything. So you see, he must have hated my guts. Thanks ocd. The funniest part is, that the only thing I regretted not getting is the one neither my sister or mother care about at all. The black and white photos he took before my ocd occurred. His, wife and younger daughter have most probably thrown them away. My sister is just like my mother by clinical definition narcissistic. She would walk over everyone and anything to get what she wants. She is selfish, inconsiderate, greedy. She is rude. She's always behaved not like a boy, but like a rude cowboy. She doesn't mind hurting animals,... She never had a problem being rude to our parents and mean and backstabbing towards me. I always put others before me, always. People keep telling me I am too gentle, to nice, that I need to learn to be more selfish to survive nowadays. I would never intentionally hurt anyone. I have helped kids, people in general, animsls. I still do. I have been an ethical vegan for 7 years now. And my father hated ME. And my parents hated Me. I was no good. And my sister an angel. And for being kind and considerate I was rewarded with ocd. And she with a family that adored her. Life is so fair. If my father only knew I was vegan! I wish he did. That would only confirm his opinion of me as being nuts, not normal, mean. I admire your family. You and your dad with ocd, your brother in need of special care and you all stick together, help each other. That's what I call a true family. I used to walk 10.000 steps a day for a few months last summer and autumn. I love to swim. I enjoy watching basketball and sometimes tennis and some other sports. Hockey (ice hockey) is quite strong here as well. I don't know much about baseball. Just what I've seen in movies,... Since I started taking the Ocd meds, I keep struggling with low levels of energy, low to no motivation, insomnia has caused extra mood problems, such as depression at times (I'd never had it before), so I've not been very active lately. Way not enough. I want to be, I try from time to time, and just give up. I did qigong for 2 weeks every day last month. Then my meds were increased to 100mg, and ocd did get better, but everything else went downhill. I am proud of you for not including ocd in cleaning up when the maintenance man left. I wonder how I would react. Lately I've been so down that I don't even give a damn about most of the things in life including the majority of those which used to drive me crazy. Have you ever watched the movie The 3 faces of Eve? From 1957. It's not about ocd, but I kind of fit me and my ocd into those 3 personalities. I at the moment am like Eve White, my ocd is Eve Black, and once the Ocd disappears I would grow and be like Jane. It's based on a true story. I have also watched The world's fastest Indian, Benny and Joon, Mickey Blue Eyes Shine and the Hustler in the last week or so. Can you recommend a nice funny movie? My I ask you about what you do for a living? Just so I know what you are interested in. I will tell you about my work experience next time. I have 3 kids waiting for me, and I need to feed them, play with them, spend real quality time with them, otherwise they will vocally express their dissatisfaction with me when I get into the room. By meowing. 😺 They are my support system. 😊. Have a lovely evening. Matthew, here is 22:55h at the moment, what time is it in NY? BTW, Please be so kind and give me examples of words that gave me away? I am very much into languages and would like to learn the fine details and improve as much as possible. I would appreciate it. Best wishes. 🍀🌞

Dear Matthew, I can only imagine how hard it must be for you and your family. Thank God you are strong and love each other no matter what. You must be amazing. You have to fight your own ocd, help your parents and your brother. Is he older or younger? I apologize if you had mentioned it before and it skipped my attention. For me today is quite a hard day. I am trying not to let it get to me, but I can't stop thinking how my father died hating me because he was not prepared to learn about ocd and he saw me as some kind of weirdo or no good. Today is my 49th birthday. I would give anything if he came to me as a ghost and told me he finally understands. I don't need apologies. Just him to understand. 🤔👻😁. I am alone. My husband is on his way here. I am relaxed. Had a long talk with my ocd. I think it feels sorry enough for me to let me have this day without it. I sure hope so. I am not going to celebrate it. Haven't been able in over 30 years. Nobody even cares or remembers. But still a nice walk, dinner, time with my hubby and my cats without ocd for the day would make me the happiest person alive. Sad, isn't it?! When you are 49 and your happiness depends on OCD. How are you doing? I will be happy to hear from you. You can tell me more about your brother, your ocd, or just some good stuff from your life. My best to you, your brother, your family. I admire you all. You are a true family. 😇🤗😊

Hi, Matt. Thank you very much. I will look up what FragileX Syndrome means exactly. I am interested in knowing what your brother is dealing with, and you and your parents as well. Lovely how you help. So sweet about the coffee. 😊☕. Really sweet. Well... After my father died without ever showing any interest in me, and after I realized what his opinion of me was when I was informed about what was in his will, I thing it finally really hit me that I don't have anyone from my original family. Mother and sister are alive, but they are not family. They are bigger strangers to me than a person you can see walking down the street for the first time when you look out of the window. I used to cry. Blamed myself. Hated myself for not being up to their standards. Now I understand, they have never known me. And it's theiir fault. They just didn't care. That's why I am so happy when I hear about people in a family living and caring for each other like in your case. You are a very good person!!! I guess it's in the middle of the day where you live, here it is 9pm. I wish you a lovely day and enjoyable moments tomorrow with your brother and family. Hug. 🤗😇🤩🧡. And ☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕☕😊for your sweet brother. 🌹

Matthew, hi. I have been reading quite a lot about FragileX Syndrome. I've really learnt a lot. In theory only, but still. Astonishing what our genes and chromosomes can do to us. Just wanted to let you know that. All the best. 😊🤗🍀

I still didn't get it exactly why it affects males more than females? Due to the dance of xx and xy chromosomes, shouldn't it be girls to get it more often? But females are the ones who mostly pass it on. Right? Does your brother have signs of ocd as well? How are you doing?

In your case, is your mom just the carrier or does she suffer as well? Is it at all possible for a woman with the Syndrom to have a relationship, get married, have kids? From all mentioned I suppose tour mom is not I'll, she just passed it on to your brother. How come you were lucky enough not to get it? Great that you don't. Just how come? We're you just lucky or does it skip a generation? Do you think his asking for things is at all ocd connected? It seems normal to me, that someone in his position would constantly ask for things. Is he asking for reassurance? In that case, ocd. If he just asks for coffee,...seems ok to me. Congratulations on your new cell phones. I got mine a week ago. And today I received the cover. I miss my old phone. I am very loyal. It will take time for me to get used to the new one. Tomorrow I am having two guys deliver my washing machine. I am fine. Just a tad anxious about it, but ok. If you survived your repairman, I will too. 😊. Otherwise I am quite well, thank you. I am happy for you, that you are active and feel fine. My best to you, your brother and your family. 😊

I apologize for all auto correct mistakes in spelling

My mom is the carrier, but doesn’t have it. I don’t know why I wasn’t born with it. However I inherited my dad’s OCD. My brother keeps asking for coffee, for example. Some things he’s increased asking for. Just trying OCD med, I guess to cutdown on it? It’s nice having updated cell phones. You’ll be fine with washing machine delivery. Yes, I handled it, you can to. Busy today. Thank you very much. My best to you & your family too 😀