- Username
- OCDwontownme
- Date posted
- 1y ago
Hocd feels real?
Anyone else experience this? Like it feels real. But like in my gut I am straight, and I know it's OCD because the amount of anxiety I have regarding the intrusive thoughts.
Anyone else experience this? Like it feels real. But like in my gut I am straight, and I know it's OCD because the amount of anxiety I have regarding the intrusive thoughts.
Yes! I feel this almost all the time but I try not to fixate on it.
It's good to know I'm not the only one dealing with this. It sucks that it is happening, but it's nice to know.
I feel this too :( it really takes a toll on my relationship though so it’s just so hard
Check out some of my recent posts they might help.  The reason anxiety feels so real is because your brain is trying to protect you from a false alarm a false sense of danger anxiety comes from evolutionary standpoint back when pre-human or Neanderthals had to rely on anxiety to keep them alive that’s why it feels so real your brain is  perceiving a false threat, and when you react to it, you fuel it  you need to show your brain irrelevance that you’re not scared and then it’s irrelevant to you in this time.
Understanding the anatomy, and the science of the brain will help you recover. Extremely the part of the brain were OCD is most  prevalent is the amygdala, which is the least developed part of the human brain and is what perceives threats and that’s with sending you the false alarm.
Your brain is trying to protect you. That’s why the anxiety feels so real  but it’s a false sense of danger. Intrusive thoughts can’t hurt you and you’re in no physical danger and no one else is either. It’s a false alarm. Your brain is on lock good news you can get it off lock you have to learn how to put all this power you put into the ruminations and anxiety into other productive activities then you can accomplish amazing things.
I'm struggling too, especially in the mornings, I wake up feeling sick and have been sick a couple of times. I keep doing erp as well sometimes I feel it makes it worse but I have to try I'm so miserable 😭
@I wont let ocd win I am doing ERP. I learned to only do 2 exposures a day because if you do too much your minds gunna fixate on the ERP Content more because of the duration being so long meaning it will take longer to fade
I relate to this so much! I have 2 intrusive images in my head and although I know they didn’t happen my anxiety makes me feel like they did! I keep telling myself my anxiety was just a false alarm that I’ve attached the images to but I just can’t understand how they can’t be real when I feel so bad
HOCDers: do any of you ever go through moments that feel like realisation or discovery of being gay (I hate this so much because I know I’m not) Also does your ocd ever make you feel funny about being straight when you know you are? Sometimes if I say to myself ‘I’m straight’ I get a sensation that isn’t quite anxiety, I don’t know if it’s a longing/missing just knowing?
It all started two months ago when I was making scenarios in my head to fall asleep.. i was imagining myself kissing a man and then it turned into a woman. The moment that happened, I opened my eyes and panicked.. it was complete panic, i started sweating, crying and I couldn’t function anymore. I started asking myself “am i gay”, “i have to come out to my boyfriend”, “i have to come out to everyone”, it was all within the span of 10 minutes… soooo overwhelming!! My mind acted as if I was gay, I lost my sense of identity, I couldn’t even trust myself anymore even when I reassured myself. It was such an awful cycle, to look at any person, a man to make sure i was straight, and a woman to make sure I wasn’t gay… i feel ashamed saying this. If i looked at a woman a certain way, like oh she’s pretty, my mind would say yes u see ur gay. After two months, I imagine any interest with a female stranger as a confirmation of being gay, I’m so nervous all the time, i start sweating and checking for groinal responses (the worst is when the response happens).. i cant afford a session with a therapist now, and i keep saying that i dont have OCD, im in denial, and that one day ill be gay. Can someone offer some insight on wether this sounds like OCD?
So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?
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