ROCD

Have been struggling *

Same questions I face. I wonder if I'm in love or just love him as a person. This trips me up when I think about moving into the next phase of our relationship (engagement). For you to be with your bf for 10 yrs and to have children together, I believe there would be something you share with this man that connects you to him. Don't give up. You got so far already. Have you talked about marriage ?

@Sunshineflowers7 Hi i also suffer from ROCD i have been with my nie Fiancé for 3 years. OCD started in July of 2022 and for the first 8 months I thought i was just crazy and a terrible person for thinking and feeling the way i was feeling. Thankfully i bumped into an article about ROCD and it all started to make sense. I shared it with my Fiancé and slowly but surely ive been making progress trying to resist compulsions.

@Alexgtz11 What have been the questions you struggle with?

@Sunshineflowers7 So far my ROCD has made my attraction to her come and go. It makes me incredibly guilty for finding other people attractive. I overreact to very trivial things i did in the past and all of this makes me want to do my main compulsion which is confessing, aside from that i also do alot of checking and ruminating. I feel disloyal or like i cheated over very stupid minor things. I also feel like i have to share any past sexual experience in order to be an honest Fiancé. Oh well there are many things the list could go on and on. But lately ive been doing pretty good at breaking the OCD cycle.

@Alexgtz11 I commend you for getting as far as you have in your relationship, even to the point of engagement. I really hope I can get myself to that point. What I've been told on this forum, is that attraction comes and goes. People's looks change all the time. We were never meant to look the same at 35 than we did at 21. Try not to share how you're feeling continuously with your fiance. Use this forum instead- even though it's not encouraged to do so. I've also been told on this forum that we often want perfection. But the truth is, perfection doesn't exist. We could spend our whole lives searching for a partner that has it ALL. In reality, what may be missing in one partner, may be met in another, but something else would be missing in that new partner. I've learned that we need to appreciate who we are with (as long as it's a loving and healthy relationship void of any kind of abuse) . I'm still learning this as well. Try to do an activity with your partner that you both love to do, like kayaking, or hiking, or going to an arcade. Try to spend more times together having fun. I know these thoughts rob us of joy. Try to keep pressing on.