- Date posted
- 2y
ROCD
Hi, new to here. Does anyone here from suffer from ROCD? I havent been diagnosed but ive been recently reading about it & believe I may have been suffering with this for almost 10 years with my partner!!!
Hi, new to here. Does anyone here from suffer from ROCD? I havent been diagnosed but ive been recently reading about it & believe I may have been suffering with this for almost 10 years with my partner!!!
Yes completely loving & healthy which makes it all the more confusing and very upsetting. Terried of ending things & living with regret forever but also hate living like this. It comes and goes and can spring up out of nowhere I find. This is the longest period ive felt like I cant shift the feeling for which has been about 5 months.
I haven't been diagnosed either and have struggling for almost 1 year and half with my bf. I commend you for staying and trying to work through it for 10 years. Can I ask you if you are in a loving and healthy relationship, void of any kind of abuse?
Have been struggling *
What kind of questions do you struggle with in your ROCD?
Do I love him? Do I just love him as a friend? Do I fancy him? We have been together since we were 18, he is mt first relationship and we have 2 children together.But how I act towards him isnt how im thinking. We still have a good sex life & im very affectionate but these thoughts come along. I can have them & sometimes be okay but I had rhe coil put in (recently removed) in november & havent been able to shift the feeling since. How do you struggle with it?
Same questions I face. I wonder if I'm in love or just love him as a person. This trips me up when I think about moving into the next phase of our relationship (engagement). For you to be with your bf for 10 yrs and to have children together, I believe there would be something you share with this man that connects you to him. Don't give up. You got so far already. Have you talked about marriage ?
@Sunshineflowers7 Hi i also suffer from ROCD i have been with my nie Fiancé for 3 years. OCD started in July of 2022 and for the first 8 months I thought i was just crazy and a terrible person for thinking and feeling the way i was feeling. Thankfully i bumped into an article about ROCD and it all started to make sense. I shared it with my Fiancé and slowly but surely ive been making progress trying to resist compulsions.
@Alexgtz11 What have been the questions you struggle with?
@Sunshineflowers7 So far my ROCD has made my attraction to her come and go. It makes me incredibly guilty for finding other people attractive. I overreact to very trivial things i did in the past and all of this makes me want to do my main compulsion which is confessing, aside from that i also do alot of checking and ruminating. I feel disloyal or like i cheated over very stupid minor things. I also feel like i have to share any past sexual experience in order to be an honest Fiancé. Oh well there are many things the list could go on and on. But lately ive been doing pretty good at breaking the OCD cycle.
@Alexgtz11 I commend you for getting as far as you have in your relationship, even to the point of engagement. I really hope I can get myself to that point. What I've been told on this forum, is that attraction comes and goes. People's looks change all the time. We were never meant to look the same at 35 than we did at 21. Try not to share how you're feeling continuously with your fiance. Use this forum instead- even though it's not encouraged to do so. I've also been told on this forum that we often want perfection. But the truth is, perfection doesn't exist. We could spend our whole lives searching for a partner that has it ALL. In reality, what may be missing in one partner, may be met in another, but something else would be missing in that new partner. I've learned that we need to appreciate who we are with (as long as it's a loving and healthy relationship void of any kind of abuse) . I'm still learning this as well. Try to do an activity with your partner that you both love to do, like kayaking, or hiking, or going to an arcade. Try to spend more times together having fun. I know these thoughts rob us of joy. Try to keep pressing on.
Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling for a long time with what I believe is ROCD. I constantly have doubts about my feelings toward my boyfriend. I feel numb, disconnected, unsure if I ever truly loved him, and sometimes I fear that I’m just pretending or lying to myself. I don’t feel happy when I think of him, I don’t miss him, and when I imagine doing things together, I feel nothing. And that terrifies me. But what hurts me even more right now is that my psychologist told me she doesn’t think I have OCD. She said I just believe it’s wrong not to like my boyfriend, and that’s why I’m stuck — because I can’t accept that I don’t like him. This only made my fears worse. Now I keep thinking: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m writing all this because I want it to be ROCD so I can feel better about not loving him?” But deep down, I’m suffering. I feel trapped in a fog of anxiety and detachment. I’ve had obsessive thoughts since I was little — especially intrusive ones, like inappropriate words or thoughts that made me feel really guilty. I would even tell my mom about them. So now I’m wondering… was this OCD all along? Why does it feel like my pain is invisible? And the worst part is… he loves me so much. He shows it in so many ways. He truly cares. But I don’t feel connected to him. I look at him and I feel nothing. Sometimes I feel like I’m acting — like I’m just going through the motions. And that makes me feel like the worst person in the world. I feel like no one else has ROCD like mine. That maybe I’m the exception. That maybe I’m not really struggling with OCD — maybe I’m just lying to myself. But I don’t want to lie. I want peace. I want to feel love again. I want to feel like myself again. If anyone has gone through this, or has felt the same after being dismissed by a therapist, please let me know. I feel so scared and alone. Thank you for reading.
Hi all, I’m quite new to the whole ROCD thing as I was just diagnosed after years of thinking I just “wasn’t meant for love/dating” because of how horribly I would spiral into a depressive, extremely dread-filled and horrifically anxious state of mind and immediately cut it off during the talking stage with guys. After breaking up with a guy who I truly liked and cared for TWICE, I was finally diagnosed with OCD and it all really makes sense now. It feels weird trying to explain it to others though… I don’t know if I’m alone in these feelings, but it feels like every time I start talking to a guy—usually after the first date but the worries are extreme even in the beginning when I perceive that they are starting to like me—I end up in this major depressive episode where I don’t feel real or like myself, I can’t take care of myself, I’m either hysterically crying or I feel numb, I feel completely trapped (even if we’re not officially dating yet), I question everything in case I’m missing a red flag of some kind or some hint that this person isn’t right for me (even with simple things like a guy giving me flowers, I end up thinking “is this moving too fast? Is he being weird? Is this love bombing? What if he has an ulterior motive? Why did he really give me these?” when logically I know it’s probably nothing) I feel like I’m always looking for evidence to see if they are secretly weird, if we aren’t compatible (always “casually” ask them to take the Myers-Briggs Personality Test to try to find out as much information as humanly possible right off the bat due to fear of being stuck with them only after realizing their real personality) It then typically escalates to a point where I never want to check my phone in fear that they texted me, I feel smothered from any communication, I wish for them to break up/break it off with me, the thought of them just icks me out and almost disgusts me, I can’t get out of bed, I can’t stomach going out with friends or family of theirs, and I usually need to introduce 24/7 drugs of some kind (weed and nicotine) to my daily routine to cope with the feelings/use it to eat something because I can’t eat when I’m with them/due to the anxiety around dating them. With the man I just broke up with FOR THE SECOND TIME AFTER A WEEK OF DATING, it had gotten to a point—as it always does—where the pain of trying to be with them is greater than my appreciation for them. I might smile at my phone when they text me and be full of joy around them, but the portion of time when I’m NOT around them and left to just think about the relationship or observing how they are behaving rather than being in the moment is just too much. Once I break it off though, it feels like a bag has been lifted over my head and I’m finally back to my normal self. I usually need a couple days to emotionally recover, and then I’m up and cleaning my home, taking care of myself, and back to making plans with others. I feel lonely then and might miss them, but I know it’s just not fair to ANYONE right now to date someone like me. Is this relatable? Do I sound crazy? - Z
I just got out of a 4 year relationship that ended around the beginning of February. In the beginning of the 4 year relationship I had intrusive thoughts about the way I was behaving around my partner, this went on for a few months not knowing what it was or that it was ROCD. I remember it was bad and did not want to deal with what I was feeling. I defeated it and was ok for the first 3 years after that. But it just made me feel like I wasn’t being my true, authentic , funny self I wanted to be for my partner. It was horrible. Now I’m in a new relationship that has been awesome as far as the beginning goes but now I’m back to that intrusive thought and ROCD. Irs to the point where I feel like I can’t be myself and I’m not happy or excited about anything anymore I’m constantly stressed out thinking about it.
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