SOOCD

I don’t think you should tell him bc it’s likely you’ll end up feeling worse, and he may start feeling more doubtful as well. It’s important to remember that these thoughts are just thoughts and have no meaning to them. Your OCD is targeting your relationship bc you care deeply and want to be with him, which is exactly why it’s upsetting you to this extent. You don’t have to live by what OCD says; live by your values regardless of what the thoughts say bc remember, you have a choice to be with him and live your life the way you want to.

I would recommend not telling him. I’ve been struggling with the same exact thing as you. If he doesn’t know you have ocd you could tell him that if you feel comfortable doing that. Just remember that your thoughts aren’t you. I struggle with the exact same thoughts all of the time and my bf also struggles with confidence (I think in part due to me :/ ). If you tell him it could make him feel more self conscious because most people don’t really understand ocd bc they don’t have it. So even if he is really understanding it will probably hurt his self confidence and he will doubt himself and your relationship more. I understand wanting to be open with your partner though. My bf is my best friend and I tell him everything so it’s hard not to explicitly tell him about my subtype of ocd. However I do tell him that I have ocd that revolves around him because he is so important to me and I’m afraid of losing him and normally ocd latches onto things that are extremely important to you. And I tell him that my ocd causes me to be distant sometimes and avoid affection. It’s still very hard but that’s my advice :)

There is no having to make a decision, you don’t have to. You’re upset at this torment, because your brain is so caught up in the uncertainty. That’s what OCD does. It’s intrusive. It feels real, it feels like a violation. You can simply choose to live life and continue what you’re doing, regardless of what answer will be, or if you will ever reach it. Embrace the uncertainty, love where you are here and now. So what if you actually were attracted to the other gender? If you still wanted to date your boyfriend completely out of love for him and no attraction, that’s completely valid. Your sexual orientation doesn’t have to have any power here. Pansexuals date people based on love for the individual, why couldn’t you? Live life like it doesn’t matter, because in the end, it truly doesn’t. Do this, and you may just find that your OCD can’t bully you the way it used to, maybe, it will go away forever.