- Date posted
- 2y
Seeing Triggers everywhere
To those with Harm OCD. Do you see triggers in like every situation even the ones that don’t really have a link with the Harm obsession. My latest obsession, the one I’ve been struggling with for the past 6 months, is of killing my wife. I am afraid I want to do it. I am afraid I might do it. I’m afraid I’m a psychopath. Etc. What I find weird and distressing is that I’ll be reading about going on vacation and then I might think “you’ll kill her on vacation”. Then I might watch the news and the reporter says a new breakthrough in neuroscience shows we have no free will and all we do is based on biology, memories, education, etc. And then I’ll think “See, you’re gonna kill her, it ain’t your fault, might as well admit the inevitable”. Then I might be doing an activity with her, like jogging, and she accidentally hurts herself tripping and the thought might come of “well, she’s hurt, might as well go all the way and finish her”. All of this makes me stress out and I spiral out of control countering these thoughts by saying “never”. “I love my baby”. “She’s my sweet pea”. “I will never hurt family”. And it goes on and on all day. Does your harm OCD adapt and modulate with so much variety to so many events?