I'm absolutely terrified now of genital herpes. I've slept with one person and I am in a relathionship with him for 10 years and somehow I still am horribly afraid I might have genital herpes. I've been very weak today because of the level of my anxiety and of course I had to be stupid and google it, so I found out it can be asymptomatic, and now I'm paralyzed with fear. Also I feel "itchy" down there...great...just great. I just need to accept I'll never feel peace in this life again.

Yo, smallbird. I wouldn't say that about peace. I definitely think that peace can come again.

He sounds terrible. Sorry you're putting yourself through that and sorry he's doing that. Anyone or anything not building me up has to go. Took me a while to do it. ??

Smallbird, 2/3 of the world has herpes. And most people actually contract it from their parents when they’re young, not sexually: https://www.cbsnews.com/amp/news/two-thirds-of-the-world-population-has-herpes/ But even if I convince you that (1) chances are you or your partner have already had herpes for a long time OR (2) that it’s not a big deal, your OCD would just try to latch onto some other disease or infection. You may in fact have herpes! But guess what: that still won’t prove/disprove that you cheated. It will just mean that somewhere along the way you got it from one of the many normal interactions people have in their lives.

Tell him to stop “teasing” you about this. Now. You’re going to have to be upfront: “I haven’t and won’t cheat on you. The accusations, even in joking form, trigger my OCD and hurt my feelings. They’re disrespectful to me and my integrity. I understand that you’ve been cheated on before and you’re insecure about it now, but that has nothing to do with me.” And then do not accept any more accusations. If he tries, tell him you’ve already told him how this makes you feel and walk away.

I agree with the other replies. Tell him his accusations trigger your OCD and if he continues, you should sit him down and talk about it. It's not healthy for either of you. Trust should be a component of your relationship.

What's the worst that could happen if you did have it?

My boyfriend would probably think I cheated and would leave me. I know that he triggers my OCD but I just wish I could control it better and not create a new obsession so easily.

JayCub I hope so :(

In all reality, as much as no one likes to think it, he could have cheated. My ex husband did and I was naieve and young and never guessed it.

I had yeast infection maybe 2 weeks ago because of horrible stress and probably it's back. Today isn't itchy at all, I feel like I'm paranoid. There's no redness, or any other symptom of anything, there was just slight little itch. The thing is, he accuses me of cheating, and few days ago he said as a joke "Haha, maybe you have genital herpes, maybe you had sex with someone on your collage". I WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON HIM! Since that day I'm obsessed with having genital herpes. And I'm not afraid of that virus, I'm afraid he would never believe me I didn't cheat. I told him "Well, if I have it, I could only got it from you." and he just continued to tease me. Someone said what he's doing is emotional abuse called gaslighting. I understand that, it's probably true, but I still love him. And I know he's just extremely insecure. That doesn't justify his actions but I know where those accusations are coming from. I just want those accusations to stop trigger my OCD so much. If he said "Haha you probably have HIV" I would obsess over HIV. Everything he accuses me of turns into an obsession. I don't think he cheated on me, he was cheated on before by two ex girlfriends and it hurt him so much he said he would rather die than do that to another person. He has huge trust issues, but I feel there's nothing I can do to change that, and that scares me a lot.