I have a false memory that I sexually assaulted my little brother while he slept and the anxiety makes it feel like someone stabbed me in the stomach. How do you deal with something this horrific? I really need help right now.
I’m so sorry to hear that you are going through this, I had a horrible thought earlier on and I used it as an exposure by writing my fear as if it was real, I cried and the anxiety level increased but in time it reduced massively and I will probably do the same exposure again tomorrow until I am no longer afraid of it - exposing yourself to your fear is key - hope this helps
Yeah I know how to do ERP but like it seems impossible to accept something like this. Like how can I just go "I might have abused my brother or I might have not". I hate this.
@lcc1999 I understand what you mean about it being impossible to accept this! I think the goal is to trust yourself more and to recognise when your ocd is lying ❤️
I’m so sorry that you’re going through something so horrible :( When I was dealing with false memories, it got so stressful I could barely even focus in school. Then one day, it just clicked. I am never going to know for sure, I won’t ever be sure about it, so why would I spend my time worrying about it? I know it’s hard to accept the uncertainty, but trust me it’s so worth it. My OCD didn’t get bad for a long time. And now it’s not nearly as horrific as it was before. I hope this helps you and I’m sorry you’re struggling so much. Remember you are super strong 💪 You got this! 🩷
I've had a similar false memory and it happened this past week. I woke up and went about my day then out of nowhere, I thought about the night before when I was up in the middle of the night changing my 5 month old daughter. When she wakes up in the middle of the night, I try to keep her from getting fussy and playing with her toes always keeps her distracted. Well....., this time, my mind decided to say that I did something else to something else. It makes me feel disgusting and leaves a pit in my stomach. Worst past is, in my heart of hearts, I know i did nothing but play with her feet but my mind is like, well if you can't fully remember then you don't know. Being a massive overthinker doesn't help.
I'm sorry you're going through this. It's worse when these things target the people around us and the people we love. Makes us not wanna be near them due to the anxiety and thoughts.
Are you me? I’ve been literally having the same one except he was in the bath when we were both kids. This seems to be a super common one. Currently my brothers going through a rough time because he’s a teenager, and I’m taking needless responsibility for his issues, in my brain is like “he’s unhappy because you did something awful, it’s all your fault.” I know deep down in my gut Ik it’s not true because 1. It wasn’t on its own, I watched a presentation on how people become serial killers and one thing was listed as sexual abuse. And a specific example was given on how a mother fondled her own son in the bathtub and my brain for weeks was like “what if you did that?” Until it became a reality in my head. 2. I was high as shit when I first had the thought. Like I was gone. But still that “what if” is so extraordinarily powerful. It’s literally what’s causing our problems.
Any advice? I just got triggered by false memory OCD. There is no indicator or memory of me doing anything bad, only the what if. So how can I deal with uncertainty because if I did do the false memory it would go against my morals?? Not something extremely unforgivable just like not ideal and against my morals… I don’t know if it happened. I have no memory of my false memory happen only the “what if” which is enough to scare me FOR CONTEXT: I was in the mental hospital when I was 16, and made a few friends. Some just a grade below me, so 14-15. I remember bringing up in convo someone I met previously at the mental hospital earlier in that year a different time I was hospitalized , to which a boy responded he knew her, and they did (seggsual) stuff at their school. The girl I was talking about at that time was 14. So im assuming the boy was 14 as well. 13 and up is together in the hospital, so he couldn’t be younger than 13. I have no memories of him flirting with me or me flirting with him. Or anything bad happening. Literally just “what if”.. or what if he wasn’t 14 but 13 and u said something inappropriate or flirted with him. I will never be able to know what happened and I’m sick thinking about this. 13 and 16 is NOT WITHIN MY MORALS. I am worried because the only inappropriate I guess convo had is when he was telling me what happened between him and that girl I knew. I also remember him having a bulge down there and it freaked me out and made me feel weird at the time because I noticed it. (At this time I was already diagnosed with OCD and experienced POCD) I try to tell myself maybe maybe not. But the what if it did happen makes me feel like a p33do, and me thinking it didn’t happen doesn’t satisfy me because I don’t have 100 percent certainty
im going to be vague here, but basically i did something in the past that i regret and it became a huge point of my OCD but i have talked to my therapist and i have mostly moved past it. i watched a video by an OCD youtuber that really put it into perspective. anyway, i have been with minimal worry for a few days, but now im having worries related to i think false memory? basically it’s like “oh but what if i said/ did this and just forgot that means i harmed this person im a bad person”. to me it sounds like textbook OCD but im just wondering if anyone else has experienced false memory / real event at the same time. i have a really horrible memory which is making it even more stressful. any responses are appreciated!
Hello all, I’ve dealt with various OCD themes and compulsions for pretty much as long as I can remember. In some periods of my life the thoughts and compulsions have been particularly severe, but I’ve also had years where I’m able to keep it under control. This has made me worry I don’t actually have OCD, especially because I haven’t been doing consistent therapy and my therapists have gone back and forth on whether I have OCD. In the past few years, I’ve struggled immensely with false memory ocd, and right now I’m going through probably the most severe episode of my life. I love my boyfriend with all my heart. A few times that I’ve gone out drinking I’ve had the thought before “what if I lost control and cheated tonight” and it’s bothered me severely. Two times before, it’s gotten to the point of convincing myself that because I talked to a man that meant I had cheated on my boyfriend and just couldn’t remember. It has never turned out to be true. About a month ago, I went out with friends and had too much to drink. I was really ashamed of myself the next morning, particularly because I always try to drink cautiously now that I know it can trigger my anxiety. I am ashamed to admit I do not remember the very end of the night getting in my uber and going home. I woke up anxious and extremely worried and immediately started off by worrying if I could have tried to kiss my friend and not remembered. I called him and was immediately reassured nothing had happened, I simply drank too much and went home at the end of the night. I started feeling better, but then remembered a moment I had been in the bathroom. I remembered chatting with people in line about how long the line was, and then being in the bathroom on my phone. I then felt like I remembered people knocking and saying to myself “that wasn’t that long” and leaving. There is nothing concrete that I remember that in any way indicates I cheated, and in fact I have texts with my boyfriend from the whole night telling him I loved him. My friend told me that the only time I was ever apart from him was about 5 minutes and that when he came back I was in the same exact spot he left me in. However, when I remembered being in the bathroom, I thought to myself “what if you cheated on him in the bathroom”/ “oh my god did you cheat on him in the bathroom” and then a series of images of me performing sexual acts popped into my head. I’ve poured over my memory and truly do not remember meeting anyone, talking to anyone, or even finding anyone attractive that night, but the fact that I was drinking makes me worried I’m just forgetting and these images could be real. I’ve been constantly ruminating on these fears for the past month, to the point that the only relief I feel is when I’m able to fall asleep. I’m a law student and it’s becoming extremely difficult to keep up with my classes. I’ve been google searching, asked chat gpt for advice, confessed my fears to my boyfriend, asked for reassurance from pretty much everyone in my life, and even emailed the bar asking for security footage (which I know all sounds insane). I’m a naturally guilty person and feel bad about small things, so I really don’t think I would be capable of cheating and then nonchalantly texting my boyfriend, but these images feel so real that it’s terrifying. I’ve also seen a lot about how I would “just know” and that begins to scare me because then I think “you do just know, you did it” even though I really don’t think I did. I know these posts are not supposed to be for reassurance seeking, I’m just so exhausted and feeling really depressed. I’m wondering if anyone has experienced something similar and has any advice. I’m also wondering if images can feel more real the more you ruminate on them or if it’s a sign of memory. Thank you so much for listening.
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