Deleted post.

Hey! My advice is - as a fellow OCD-mind 🙂 - use this not-easy situation to practice ERP skills! Trigger: conflict, fight Intrusive thoughts: “What if we are toxic?” Emotions: [notice what you’re feeling] RPM: think of your own but I’d recommend something like “Maybe we’re toxic or maybe we are a healthy couple!” I suppose that a fight is a common trigger (it’s been for me and, from what I’ve observed in some rOCD groups, for many others too). OCD is very attentive and it will use EVERY opportunity to instill doubt. Don’t get hooked into figuring out whether you’re toxic or not! It’s another OCD trick. Of course it’s important for you and your boyfriend to communicate well, avoid raising voices, and solve conflicts, but you can TOTALLY achieve these goals as a couple long term, on YOUR terms, not on OCD’s terms! What has worked for me is telling myself: ok, I’ll reflect on what it means to trust in a relation in a week at 5pm. Until then, I won’t think about it. In this way, you are postponing the action you feel the urge to do and so the action looses its compulsive character! At the same time, you’re giving yourself the chance to reflect on the role of trust, which, obviously, must be your value. 🙂❤️ From what you’re writing, you guys have handled the conflict well and, who knows, maybe next time you’ll be even better at resolving conflicts?! 🙌🏻 The best thing you can do right now is embrace the uncertainty around whether you guys are a toxic couple or not, and feel the emotional discomfort that understandably shows up with it ❤️ You are capable of this!! ❤️❤️❤️

I just posted something similar! My ROCD spikes badly after an argument or if my partner says something insensitive etc. It is hard, but I guess we need to sit with the uncertainty in the moment—maybe it is toxic, maybe not. I hope it eases for you over time :)

Comment deleted by user